The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions. – Leonardo da Vinci
We’ve all found ourselves in that regretful moment, going over and over in our head how we could have dealt with a certain person or situation differently. We often feel disappointed in ourselves for not standing up for something that we strongly believe in. Does it really matter anyway? Isn’t it easier sometimes to not say nothing…?
Knowing when to assert our self is key and the sooner we get to work on perfecting this skill, the sooner we can stop doubting ourselves. If we don’t make a conscious decision to ever address this, we will find ourselves in a never ending cycle of “I’m right and you’re wrong”… choosing to challenge other peoples opinions on a daily basis will, as you can imagine, only result in pain and loss of respect.
Having the confidence to speak up for ourselves with our partners, family members, friends, work colleagues and people we’ve just met is a wonderful skill to master. It’s a skill that’s actually essential to acquire as early as possible as we all know the world revolves around opinions. Many of which we may find we don’t agree with.
This my friend is where we need to go to work on ourselves ASAP… distinguishing the difference between our opinions and our truths.
Some people appear to really enjoy challenging others opinions and that’s fine as long as these people are careful not to cross the line of self righteousness! Once this line is crossed, an instant lack of respect can and often will occur, a temporary or permanent dislike for the person pushing their own beliefs onto the other is also very likely. The end result to this is then having to put in a lot of time and patience in the re-building of any relationship if it’s destined to be a part of ones journey through life.
If however we can always (and this takes practice, practice and yes… more practice) keep at the forefront of our minds when opinion sharing that our opinion and their opinion is not the truth, we can begin to change how we’ve always reacted to others who we feel enjoy challenging us. The reward of being aware of this is truly life changing for ourselves and for those around us.
There are so many of us who at times don’t feel good enough or confident enough in our own beliefs and ideas that we are too quick to back down in moments of conflict. It’s easier and so much less painful (in that moment) to not say anything further and to end the conflict as fast and as smoothly as possible. What we must always keep in mind though is the pain you avoided in that moment will be added to a collection of secretly suppressed emotions… Pain, lack of respect for oneself and often anger… again, at oneself. The only true way to eliminate such self sabotage is to face these kind of challenges head on. This is something that we must not procrastinate on for our own sanity.
The best part is… it’s really quite easy to do!
It simply means we just need to start deciding what it is that’s worth challenging and lets remember always not to major on minors!!
Our own personal truth carries so much more weight that our opinions. When someone offers us their opinion whether we want it or not… simply listen. If it doesn’t affect us in any hurtful way, then fine. If it does… note the emotion it stirs within. Only then can you tell your truth. There’s no need to offer opinions back that challenge the other person (you know where that will lead) but here’s what you can do and it’s very simple but will probably require a little courage (it gets easier the more you do it like most things):
- Feel free to express calmly and clearly how their opinion has hurt you or made your belief seem less important to their own. More often than not, there was never any intention whatsoever to hurt you.
- When people realize what they’ve done without realizing and definitely not intending to hurt you, it may well help them with future friendships and relationships and an apology will usually follow, thus forming a new found respect.
- If however you find after telling them your honest truth, it results in nothing less than more criticism or hurtful retorts back, then is the time to really decide if this person really is worth any more of your time. Some people just don’t know any better and although it’s sad, we are only responsible of ourselves. Let’s not fall into the trap of being one of those individuals out there, who find it extremely difficult to speak heartfelt truths as this will usually result in having to constantly feed our egos. This can be a dangerous game and the only winner here will be ‘the ego’… it will not be ‘you’!
In a previous blog we have emphasised the value of time and how much just 5 minutes a day to yourself is a gift. Another gift you might give to yourself is permission to be your authentic self at all times! So go ahead and give yourself some me time with a little help from LifeFlow…
P.S. Here’s a snippet of how one of our extremely valued LifeFlow participants changed his life with LifeFlow:
Now I would like to tell you about my experience over this past year. I first want to say that I am so grateful to have taken the Lifeflow brainwave entrainment program. It has changed who I am; it has changed my life. For the better!!! I don’t understand how it has done it, but given the way one just listens and relaxes, these audios must have produced significant changes in the structure of my brain and nervous system. I no longer react to my world like an erupting histrionic. Nothing sticks. There is no lingering upset. There is no rage. What happened to it? It seems to have melted away. In its place is a cushion of calmness and restfulness and light heartedness.” – Pat Carlone – CA, USA