Recently, I was asked, “How can I make sure I use the Law of Attraction the right way? I seem to keep attracting bad jobs and worse relationships even though I’m trying to be a positive person.”
Great question! The short answer is, a positive inner state will lead to positive life experiences so the trick is to become less influenced by what you see around you, than you are by the things you feel inside you.
Here’s an example: suppose that you have been at your job only a few months, and suddenly you find out that the company has to lay off several employees. Right now, nobody knows which positions will be cut, and because you’re new, you wonder immediately if your job will be eliminated. It’s instinct!
Fearing loss, your mind immediately goes into survival mode. You fear the worst… and start expecting it. You don’t even realize that you start to emotionally check out of the job – all you know is that you’d better start looking around, and if you’re going to be let go anyway, why bother doing any extra work? What a pain, you think… my boss is always nitpicking my every move so obviously she hates me… I’m sure I’ll be the first one to go!
A few weeks go by as you become less and less engaged. You do the bare minimum, and you don’t even realize that your attitude is affecting your boss’ decision because you assume it’s already decided.
You start to engage in the drama of office gossip and unknowingly add to the feeling of impending doom at work. Your boss knows that everyone is worried, but you suddenly went from enthusiastic to sullen – by all appearances, you’re doing your best to sabotage the company even more.
So what choice does she have, but to eliminate your position first, and keep those employees who are still engaged? You are laid off… you feel like a victim… you harbor resentment and anger… and since you received a less-than-complimentary letter of reference from your boss, it’s hard to get a new job.
You see, it’s the inner FEELINGS that drive your behaviors, whether you’re aware of it, or not.
Now let’s look at what could happen:
You get the notice that the company has to lay off a few employees, and being the new guy on staff, you’re probably going to be first in line. But, you have something within you that will help you meet this unexpected moment.
You understand that your anxiety comes from the fear that what you expected (keeping a great new job), is probably not going to happen, and your survival instincts are the first to kick in. But – instead of acting on your fear, you simply become aware that you feel afraid. You close your eyes and say to yourself, “Okay… I’m feeling scared… breathe… it will work out somehow…”
You know that fear makes you withdraw (that’s the way you normally respond to emotional fears) and so you know that you can refuse to play that game. You can choose to take the right step by avoiding the wrong one, which is instinctive and automatic reaction. Instead, you choose to respond. You are facing not only the bad news but your fears about it, and you decide to go out on top.
You pour yourself into your work, because it helps you feel like you’re doing something positive. Keeping busy in a positive way helps soothe your anxiety and helps keep your focus off the fearful chatter that fills the office. You realize that it’s out of your control that someone’s job is cut, but it is in your control to some extent, whose job will be cut. Because you know that fear is just an emotion, you can pause, and breathe, anytime and keep on delivering excellence.
Your attitude is noticed – and still, you receive the notice that your job will be cut, not because of you but because of budget. However, because you didn’t emotionally abandon ship, you receive a glowing review from your boss, and a letter of recommendation and a few phone calls that land you a great job within a week.
“The Law of Attraction states that whatever you focus on, think about, read about, and talk about intensely, you’re going to attract more of into your life.”
~ Jack Canfield
Meditation is one of the best ways you can achieve mastery of the feelings within, that attract the situations. It’s the thoughts that generate feelings – but you don’t have to get stuck repeating positive affirmations about a specific idea or problem, because on some level you’re still thinking about (and fearing) the problem.
You can actually shift your focus onto ANYTHING that makes you feel good – a hobby, an upcoming event, nature, music, a loved one, the first sip of coffee in the morning… whatever makes you feel good, let that be your point of focus in meditation. It’s not meant to ignore the problem but to generate good feelings inside, which in turn help you think more positive thoughts and have a more upbeat attitude.
In meditation, you find stillness that helps you quiet the fearful mental chatter.
In meditation, you find the flow of creativity as you visualize the ideal situation and allow your mind to reverse-engineer how to get from “here, now” to the ideal situation.
In meditation, you find the awareness that you are not your emotions, and that when you simply allow yourself to experience an emotion, you can get past it without acting on it.
Finally, in meditation, you find the power to choose the thoughts that generate the best kinds of feelings – the feelings that will attract the circumstances you want.
I realize that this may sound a little far-fetched but the most important take-away from this article is that you learn to allow yourself the experience of your emotions… DO NOT act on them… let them pass… and come back to happier thoughts and emotions that will generate more positive attitudes and behaviors.
People unconsciously pick up on each other’s “vibe” so the most powerful way to consciously utilize the Law of Attraction is to be happy. You can shift your thoughts to anything that helps you feel happy, once you have ridden the wave of an emotion. Then, act from that happier place and you will attract better circumstances.