Hey all need a hand
Hi peoples. I's great to finally make a post here. This is such a nice forum.
I'm twenty one, and I've been meditating since December last year I think. When I was young my parents took me to a short Vipassana course and over the years I tried it off and on a few times, but never kept it up for long. In December I got Michie's book Hurry Up and Meditate which was a great help. This has been the longest I've done it. I hope I can make it last to see some actual benefits.
I do simple breathing meditation. I focus my attention on the feel of the breath moving in and out of my lips. I would breathe through my nose but I have bothersome sinus issues. I keep time by counting the number of breaths in the background of my head. I try to do it for between five and fifteen minutes a day. I used to break it down into little pieces, now all at once.
The main reason I joined the forum was for a little help with the practice. The going has been tough and I've run into some issues. Sometimes a session is good, I start out interested and focussed, I stay focussed for the entire time, and the experience brings me a real piece of mind and contentment.
But more often I will start out feeling uninterested about it, doing it because I told myself that I would regardless of my attempts to get interested. I'll spend the session just going through the motions of it while my mind is either lost in dullness or on some tangent. At the end of it I look for what I accomplished by going to all that effort and come up with nothing. And because of that the whole thing becomes a chore, where I feel I get no benefit for the effort I go to, and the whole thing becomes a pointless frustration.
The only other issues I have to deal with are the sinus problems and the occasional external distraction, which aren't really an issue here I don't think.
I would like to be able to meditate for ten to fifteen minutes a day without having to feel like it's a chore that I just want to get over and done with, and to actually get something out of it other than frustration. Every time I tried meditation before I gave it away because of the reasons I have outlined above. David Michie said that with time and development I would become 'hooked' on meditation like a gym junkie to his treadmill and that would lead me further into all the benefits meditation has, but I'm not seeing any of it. All I see is where he said it should not become a chore. How can I change this?
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