Meditation and I

[Claire_pe]

I do not know if this is a success story... I am still new at meditation and I wanted to share what I went through since I started last week. I might even be over sharing about my life, but honesty is the only way I know

Before the weekend, I found project meditation. Thus, I decided to give it a try.

I followed through for two days...

I felt the benefits of meditation at once. For instance, I would react peacefully and great self-control to any little annoyance which would have exasperated me a few days back; this with no conscious efforts at all. I would feel no anxiety regarding delicate matters that needed to be talked of with my family (my usual way is to avoid any subject I feel my not agree with the ones I love for fear of their reaction). In truth, I felt an inner-calm I had never experienced before after only two sessions...

Yet, I did not follow through, why?

I found it difficult to meet the necessary conditions to meditate. It was particularly tricky to wait for two hours after a meal in order to meditate... the two hours in question were in fact the time I had to meditate, or at least it was two hours I could have used to meditate if it weren’t for the conditions. So, I sat down, emptied my mind and put the CD on anyway... Could you guess what happened? I could not get my mantra to flow in my mind at all, I tried to say it aloud but it almost sounded wrong... I shrugged my shoulder, smiled and slowly opened my eyes. Then I went about to my occupations.

I actually had a very busy weekend and was not much at home. My husband and I are planning to move to a quieter place. We found a great apartment and we’ll move at the end of March beginning of April. It has an extra room that will make it easier for both of us to meditate, as my husband wishes to discover meditation. Things are on their way to a healthier spiritual life I believe... where stress will be dealt with, with the best tools. So, yesterday, I told myself that I would wait for us to move to have everything I needed around me to meditate, and it sounded reasonable...
I went to bed; fell asleep easily (which, generally speaking, is not likely to happen when my husband works the early shift week); had a great night sleep...

Maybe the little meditation I had done helped; maybe it was a psychological effect to the thoughts I had given to meditation; I do not know really and it does not really matter... All I know is that this morning, I had a very good and clear idea of what I wanted my day to be. So I had my coffee, got a few chores done, ate breakfast, got dressed, studied Swedish for an hour and suddenly the two hours necessary after a meal were gone. I unplugged the phone, sat down comfortably and put on CD2 again...

I made sure I did not try... my mind wandered a lot, I lost track of my mantra many times, but eventually I felt my body loosen up... some parts were relaxing some more when I thought them completely so... for a while, I would have sworn I was getting dizzy, but I felt it was not it.
At the end of the session, the tinkling bells startled me, though my player was not set on a high volume.

So there I go... no matter how long it will take me to settle down in my meditation routine, I will start all over again each time I do not follow through. I do not plan on not following through, but I know myself enough to know it is a strong possibility. However, now that I have experienced it I do not intend on giving it up because, truth be told, meditation makes me feel fantastic!

PS: I have not noticed yet the effects on my writing, however, this long post is a start...

[stretchingout]

Hi there - congrats on starting in the first place. I guess it is like Michael says that if you do it every day at the same time it becomes routine - I have read that if you do something for 13 weeks it becomes habit - the benefits I feel far exceed any hassles. I too am very new to meditation but my journey so far has been amazing and I look forward to 'me time' every day.

All the best and may you find what you are looking for

[Claire_pe]

Thank you for your support stretchingout...
I guess we are all looking for something without consciously knowing what it is. I believe meditation is the key to unlock these deep purposes we often, if not always, overlook.

Since I posted this message, I am already looking forward to this "me" time as you call it. It feels good to empty my mind and somehow stop thinking for a while.

I am not a troubled person... I am lucky enough to know how blessed I am, this "me time" will hopefully show me how to deepen my connection to everything that surrounds me...

I already have a positive effect from meditating... I fall asleep fast and sleep extremely well... things could have started worse than that