LF just keeps on working!

[pollyanna]

Having done all the LifeFlow levels I am meditating to LF3 at the moment and still unloading the garbage Take your time with each level and then you can release gradually and comfortably This is what happened in the last week or so - bear in mind that it is months since I completed the whole LifeFlow series for the first time.

About a week ago during meditating to LF3 I became very aware of the precise layout of the house where I lived when I was about 5 years (50 years ago ) I could smell the leather and the shoes in the "little place" as we used to call the cupboard we hid in under the stairs.

How is this significant? I'll explain later.

On Saturday while meditating to LF3 I became acutely aware of experiences that happened when I was 6 years of age:- It was Monday morning, I was sat at my desk and the teacher in the catholic school I attended (I won't mention names) asked the usual Monday morning question ("If you did not attend mass yesterday please raise your hand") I had missed mass which was unusual (that being a big enough sin to send you to hells flames)

Being honest, I raised my hand and was instructed to line up with the other non attendees to receive a stinging slap on the calf of my left leg. I remember being a happy and helpful child like most 6 year olds are and as I saw another child go back to their desk crying I felt sad for him and afraid for me.

However as the slap stung my leg as I was humiliated in front of the whole class I remembered feeling incredibly stubborn and thinking, as a lump came in my throat and my stomach tightened "I'll never let you see that you hurt me!"

Although I remembered this event very vividly during meditation, I didn't feel upset -what I did feel was a faded angry sensation and so I focused on that and realized where I had developed some of the anger at injustice I carried with me through most of my life.

I thought about the teacher in the reception class who taught 5 year olds. When she asked the question "Why did God make you?" and you couldn't remember the complete answer "God made me to know him, love him and serve him in this world and forever in the next" (and that was only one question out of about a hundred that you were brainwashed to remember) in front of the class you would hold out your hand to have your knuckles rapped with a 12 inch ruler.

On Saturday I realized why, before LifeFlow, I used to love it in films when the hero was killing all the bad guys - I couldn't watch anyone good be hurt - but I loved it when the bad guys were blown away. That being said I am totally against violence of any kind - I guess my painbody just fed on Die hard, Rocky and Rambo etc.

The importance of what happened on Saturday is that meditation with LifeFlow is progressive after you have completed all the levels.

Stuff happens in life and you can handle it I believe as long as you have released the early supressed emotions that a young child doesn't know how to deal with.

Abandonment with past partners was a huge thing for me to deal with at the time and I now believe with all respect, how unimportant they were. The real issue I now believe stemmed from my mother going to hospital for nine months with a complete mental breakdown when I was two.

Thanks to LifeFlow and meditation I have resolved many issues and released quite a number of negative emotions calmly and gradually, making lots of room for peace, happiness, compassion and personal growth and I wish you all an abundance of the same

I have elaborated on a tiny issue here (although it wasn't so tiny to the little girl at the time) I do believe I have had a normal and happy childhood and some people have much more serious supressed emotions. I just wanted to explain how meditating with LF keeps searching through the past of us all, searching through every nook and cranny, revealing some wonderful delights and bringing up anything not worthy of keeping and allowing us to ever so gradually release them to become free.

[chris063]

Thank you for sharing your experiences pollyanna, it is really encouraging to hear how other people are continually making real progress and improvements in their lives with the help of meditation and LifeFlow.

[Bhavya]

Thanks Pollyanna. It's helpful to know what to expect. I'm only on LF7 where things are beginning to crop up. Going deeper but after the initial bliss, stuff! Well we all know that nothing stays the same.. bliss one day, agitation another... and I agree with you--it's important to unearth the buried garbage.

I appreciate your calm and centered approach. Thanks for sharing
Bhavya

[bashmaki]

We all appreciate what you do here pollyanna. Thanks for sharing this tale of a by gone experience.
There are a couple things I'd like to comment on; if I could.

I could smell the leather and the shoes in the "little place" as we used to call the cupboard we hid in under the stairs.

This is not the first time you've mentioned the "little place" hid under the stairs. Awhile back I read something else of yours with a reference to this "little place". Do you remember it?

Also, do you think as we endeavor to release the old memories from our past; we create a new road map of our reality? Thereby creating a situation to experience these CD's in a new light each and every time we decide to experience them once again?
In essence we keep setting ourselves up for a repeat perfomance of the CD's by clearing out an individual thought thereby changing our map of reality. I think I'm repeating myself when what I need to do is use a different example!

Let me ask you this: Have you ever read a book a second or third time only to realize that the book is somehow different. In reality the only thing that has changed is you thereby making the experience of the book different.

gus

[chris063]

Originally Posted by Bhavya

Thanks Pollyanna. It's helpful to know what to expect. I'm only on LF7 where things are beginning to crop up. Going deeper but after the initial bliss, stuff! Well we all know that nothing stays the same.. bliss one day, agitation another... and I agree with you--it's important to unearth the buried garbage.

I couldn't agree more Bhavya..there are amazing highs when I've felt so full of feelings of love and joy that I've actually wanted to put a lid on it.., then there's a settling when things seem to be on a nice, even keel, and just when you think you're doing okay, yet more garbage crawls out of the depths demanding attention... I've found this is all happening pretty quickly now, not sure if it is the meditation or LifeFlow, but I am finding that identifying and releasing the 'garbage' is becoming a heck of a lot faster and easier.

[Montana Keith]

Hi Pollyanna,
Thank you so much for taking time to share how you are currently experiencing your life through the lens of meditation using LifeFlow technology. Thank you for playing the role of “mentor” for me at this stage of my journey. Thank you for blessing me with your “presence” here on this forum. Reading your posts here is like feeling a calming summer breeze.

Your dear story of your memories with those “misguided” nuns reminded me of a story one of my students shared with me. Marian is in her mid to late 50’s. Like you, she grew up in England. I know her husband grew up in Lancaster, but I’m not sure if she did also. Anyway, Marian tells the story of one early morning when she was eight or nine years old. She was in her school uniform and lined up in some big spacious hallway with all the other students prior to going to morning classes. I’m not sure if this school was a church school or not, but I think it may have been. Lining both sides of this spacious hallway were windows which extended from floor to ceiling. As she was standing there patiently waiting, the sun broke through the morning clouds and lit up the whole hallway in a reverent golden light. Marian said that at the very moment she was gazing in rapture at the heavens and feeling overwhelmed and held in God’s loving embrace, she felt a stinging slap to the side of her head. Immediately following the slap to the side of her head, she heard the loud grating words from a school master or nun—I can’t remember which—“That’ll teach you to stop your wide-eyed daydreaming!” Such was one of her early experiences of the “consequences” of feeling God’s love.

I think we all have experiences during our tender years that serve as “lens” through which we view our experiences today. A defining experience for me was when I was eight or nine like Marian. I remember that I was “ANGRY” about something. I don’t remember what I was angry about, just that I was angry. It might have been about being teased at school or about the “weirdness” of my older brother. At the time, no one knew what was wrong with him. He was just so physically and socially awkward, and he was always so offish and condescending towards me. He was just plain “weird,” and I hated living in the same house with him. Now, I think he would have been diagnosed as “high-functioning autistic” or “asperger's” like my 24-year old son is. So, maybe this is where some of my latent anger was coming from. At any rate, on this particular day after school, my dad, my younger brother—who is a couple years younger than me—and I were all working on the loading chute attached to our corral. My younger brother must have done something that irritated me because I took off after him. He was a really fast and wiry little fellow and must have been getting away from me. In my anger and frustration, I picked up a rock and threw at him. Luckily, I didn’t hit him in the head, but I did hit him with a resounding “thwunk” right in the middle of his back. He let out an awful yell of pain and started bawling. Dad ran up to me, grabbed my arm and spun me around. Grabbing me firmly by both shoulders, he gave me a shake and said—and to this day I still remember the words, “Keith, you have a REAL problem with anger. You better get it under control, or you're going to have some BIG problems.”

Being older now and knowing the deep love my dad had for all of his children I know that he never meant for me to take this situation as I did. However, as closely as I can recall, this was the defining moment when I came to believe that anger is BAD, and that it was a PROBLEM that “I” had. To “feel” anger was bad, and for sure the expressing of it was even worse because someone could be hurt. So because of these misinformed beliefs that developed, I just shut down in the “anger” department. Sure there were times when my anger started boiling towards the surface, but for the most part these emotions really frightened me, and I would work so hard at being “nice” and bottling these anger feelings up inside. I have worked with people who suggest that I take my anger out “cussing up a storm” or “beating the hell out of a pillow or punching bag.” However, I still find something holding me back—some voice saying, “Keith, you have a REAL problem with anger. You better get it under control, or you're going to have some BIG problems.” And still stuck in this belief, the only way I know of “controlling” these feeling of anger is to paste a smile on my face and continue to bury and suppress them.

So, that’s part of what is coming into my awareness as I meditate at this time. I remind myself that I’m no longer a child of eight or nine. I’m a man now, and I have been blessed with tools—tools like “The Sedona Method”—which are proving so beneficial in assisting me to “welcome” and “let go” of the “guests” that are showing up in my awareness

I have written “brave & logical” words here. However, any thoughts, prayers, or good energy any of you can send my way will be gratefully appreciated. There is a “part” of me that is really struggling with all of this right now. Thanks. –Keith

[chris063]

Hi Keith, you are doing brilliantly and the fact that are able to speak about everything so clearly now means that you have already brought your memories and feelings out into the light, the perfect place to examine them and see them for what they really are...

Good luck and take care, I wish you much peace and am thinking of you..

Chris

[bashmaki]

I went to a catholic school as a child. I thought rulers were for hitting and throwing at people until I got my very own in the 5th grade. I for the life of me could not figure out why they had given each of us one! My only thought was, "This is bound to get ugly!"

Ohhh Brother Keith,
I too have been struggling of late. Seems Mr. Mackenzie has a sense of humor. LF 7 is such a relaxing CD. I've always loved thunderstorms. They have always relaxed me. However, soon after I began listening to it I became edgey . . . some points angry. My wife was beginning to think maybe this LifeFlow thing wasn't such a good idea. Personally I wasn't sure if I should scream or go blind at times but I struggled on . . .everyday . . . meditating and listening to LF 7.
This morning it happened! Boiling to the surface came a whole string of thoughts and emotions all surrounding a long overdue issue. They were moving so fast it took half of the rest of the day to get a grip on what had actually happened. Something else I realized was something I think Pollyanna had touched on before. The gratitude session was somehow different. I was truly greatful to just Be . . . In . . . The . . . Moment! I have had the feeling before during the gratitude exercise as I have shared before but this time I was truly greatful for the work being done, greatful for the freedom from bondage of a past that truly is that, Past---Gone
I am greatful for all of you that keep facing that which brings you here every day or so. For sharing your percieved successes as well as the percieved failures.
For those that carry the torch ahead of me Thank you for your courage as well as your patience.

Blessings,
gus

[pollyanna]

Hi there Chris and Bhavya, keep releasing the garbage and create room for all the joy and peace you both deserve

Hi Gus, it's a blessing to feel appreciated, thankyou - if in anyway I can help or make a difference in someones life here, this is my greatest reward I mentioned the "little place" about a week ago when I was explaining to Audrey about it being normal to experience sensations, colours etc. during meditation.

I don't recall mentioning it prior to that but it's possible. What I didn't explain clearly enough was that both times within a week I became aware in great detail of the exact layout of the home I lived in (even the smell of the shoes) and the school I attended when I was very young (I could clearly remember where every classroom was situated.) It felt quite remarkable.

I've always said that I just accept whatever comes with each meditation - it's the improvements it makes to my daily life that is important to me, however some of the experiences and sensations are lovely and amazing.

The slapping of the leg will have been horrible at the time, yet when it came up in meditation it wasn't painful at all, it simply helped me clearly understand where some hurt and anger will have been created in me. I sensed a lump in my throat and a sick feeling in my stomach but it couldn't affect me

When we let go of supressed emotions or negative feelings I believe we become more open and free and yes, I agree with you our map of reality changes for the better. We kind of become unstuck. When this happens we get rid of more filters and see and experience life from a different perspective.

I hope that makes sense to you - sometimes I struggle to explain my thoughts clearly

A huge thing for me was learning to recognize any negative emotion, notice it quickly and allow it to go. I believe when we get rid of more and more rubbish we have more room to consciously replace it with good things like feeling thankful, loving, positive and happy.

That being said, I am still the same person but with a perspective that just keeps getting better. I really like and love myself (not in an egoic way) and at the risk of sounding crazy, I'm more like a child than ever and love it because whatever anyone may do or say now is up to them - I don't have to allow it to affect me.

As always I wish you happiness and joy on your journey

[pollyanna]

Bless you Keith, it is such an honour to be of any assistance to you and I am deeply grateful for your kind words. We're all responsible adults, however we all still have the little child within who needed to be loved and feel safe. It's not a lot to ask, but life is not perfect and people make mistakes.

Here is a suggestion that may help you and anyone else willing to try:-

Think about how you care for your own childrens needs. How you tell them you love them no matter what. How proud of them you and what wonderful qualities they possess. Now think about the little boy within you. Go and find a quiet place, lie down and play the music to the gratitude exercise and imagine going back to where you used to live when you were little. Remember a time when you were happy. Visualise the door of your home and see the little boy you were, coming out. Then walk over to him, bend down and give him a great big hug and tell him how much you truly love him. Look into his eyes and feel the love you feel for him. Tell him that you have come back to let him know that although there will be some struggles to overcome, you know how special and strong he is and his future is going to be wonderful, full of joy, happiness and abundance. Then smile and tell him you'll come back again and again to see him.

Let me know how you feel. I wish you a life filled with love, peace and happiness Keith. You deserve it.