Hi Rosezena and welcome to the community
I really feel for you and you are not alone - don't give up on yourself - you are distracting yourself from something that you are possibly not wanting to face at this time.
I highly recommend that you download the "Discover Meditation" from the top left of the community as I feel it will help you. If you only gain from the exercise on C.D.2 then you will be heading in the right direction.
Here's what 2 members have posted along with the links to them:-
My true confession
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Fifteen months ago my life was a train crash waiting to happen and i was to ashamed to tell the truth of how bad it was and i could not even look at my self. I felt haggard and ugly and very ashamed and addicted to alcahol and cigarettes that i couldnt afford. I felt ashamed and guilty cos i used to be nasty and angry a lot with my family. Then i found this community and it has given me a new lease of life. I thank god and michael every day because i no longer drink or smoke and i have learned to like who i see in the mirror.
My true confession
Actually Happy
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My fear of death and therefore rejection of being alive had made me depressed, constantly anxious, a heavy drinker, resentful, angry, lost, confused, helpless with no social confidence etc etc for as long as i can remember but now i am actually happy!! I have done a lot of ground work over the past seven years, and now Lifeflow has made it actually happen! and I'm only just starting LF8.
That is AMAZING.
All it takes is that bit of space that comes from being so totally relaxed.
Awesome. Life makes sense now, and is truly enjoyable for the first time.
Thanks.
Actually Happy
I hope they inspire you and wish you much peace and joy
