Anxiety is killing me

[Joe_17]

Hey

I've suffered with anxiety for 3 years now, healthy anxiety been the main one.

My main worrying symptom is heart palapatations however having had countless tests the doctors tell me I'm fine.

This was actually the reason I started meditating..depression/anixety, I thought it could FIX me.

I've listened to Tolle a lot now and like listening to him and it all makes sense and in some moments I'm sure I've been present, however I keep having episodes where I get frustrated over the palpatations because they persist.

I try really hard to allow all emotions, I try allow all thoughts but don't really understand what it feels like to allow a thought...it feels like my mind is muddled and there isn't a specific thought when I'm trying to not resist them.

Tolle says been aware of thoughts is been conscious right? I know the idea isn't to think but surely if I am seeing myself have all these panicky/negative thoughts I am aware of them...

e.g. I'll start talking to myself in my head (but at the same time see myself doing it) I might rush to the toilet when the palpatations are out of control repeating in my mind 'dont resist..dont resist'

Isn't that the same?

I don't want to go on meds because I see it as a quick fix and potentially harmful.

I want peace.

I don't know where to start, I feel as though everyday I hope to listen to Tolle on tape in the hope it will magically make me peaceful.

Ironically a bit which Tolle said made sense..he said 'if you make ego into a goal to be removed you create more ego' or something like that...that's true...I think all the time 'If I can just become present I'll be relaxed' 'I'll go meditate now and after I'll be more present' etc

I remember when I used to go out...I'm interested in improving socially...I wanted to get better with girls...online there's various resources...and I used to read it before I went out so I could take a piece of writing as my identity.

I'm finding it hard to understand 'watching thoughts' as I feel I do that all the time...and to not judge them feels like I'm making a big effort and it feels like I'm thinking not to judge them...then the ego tells me this isn't going to work and quits.

So far I haven't heard Tolle talk about Meditation practises and I've listened to the majority of PON and NE.

The only one I've done before is staring at a candle flame and directing my focus on that for 30 mins at a time.

Help will be appreciated

Thanks

[pollyanna]

Hi there Joe-17 and welcome to the community

First of all, congratulations on searching for a natural way to release your anxiety and secondly, please know that you are not alone.

Here are a couple of recent threads about similar circumstances to yourself. I suggest you get a cup of tea, coffee or glass of water and read through them as I feel they will be of great help to you:-


Beginner looking for guidance!

Defeated the Anxiety

And finally, here is a link to the principles of meditation and entrainment that has helped many people here:-

Principles of Meditation & Entrainment

If you have any questions after reading through these links please ask away. There is truly a wealth of knowledge within the threads of this community. I hope this helps and wish you much peace and joy

[Panthau]

Hi Joe,

Ive experienced nearly the same. I have overcome it with meditation, but it wasnt a short process, it took me about 3 years of daily meditation.

Im in a hurry, but hopefully i can write you later where meditation took me. If not someone else does before me

Atb,
Phil

[Boris Badenov]

Hi Joe

I suffer from panic attacks and anxiety as well. In my experience my panic attacks have nothing to do with my thoughts. .... My panic is entirely subconscious and on the level of my sympathetic nervous system. Sometimes I have palpitations but mostly I get light-headed and short of breath. What works for me is to avoid caffeine and alcohol; I've found that putting a heating pad on my abdomen on medium heat for 15-30 minutes really alleviates a panic attack; I think it was Olmate that recommended Paul Wilson's book The Quiet in another thread and I downloaded that as an audiobook. Not only is the audiobook extremely relaxing to listen to, Paul Wilson has some really good techniques to connect to 'The Quiet' that you can do very unobtrusively while out in public. A very simple meditation technique that he gives is to listen to your breath for 10 minutes. I do that while listening to LifeFlow. Doing that tends to give me lasting results. Paul suggests that the breath is the link between this world and the spiritual. I think it may be. I've also tried EFT 'tapping' and have used essential oils and Bach remedies. Those worked for me when my panic attacks were severe. Now I focus on diet and meditation.
Dr Claire Weekes advises that recovering from anxiety and panic is a slow process and I think that it is. I still suffer from them but as time goes on my episodes are less severe than they were a few months ago. Hang in there and find out what works for you.

[Panthau]

Sounds good Boris, i always do this when my thoughts begin to explain the world to me

Well, meditation... for me, the daily meditation cleared several layers of emotional blockages, on one side. On the other side, my thoughts got and get less and less, and when im not thinking about future events, they dont bother me (therefore no anxiety). Or, to be more specific, i learned to just let go of these thoughts, should they arrive.

Its those thoughts that create these feelings. The feelings themselves dont last long, when there are no thoughts feeding them.

@Boris: ive learned that there are two kind of thoughts. The ones that are conscious, and the ones that are unconscious. The latter is a stream of thoughts that was created through several incidents, mainly in the childhood, and therefore create our view of the world. I could clear many of these layers through meditation and the journey method from Brandon Bays. But its hard to recognize them, as they are as i said... unconscious

So anxiety is in every case a thought, with one exception, which is directly fear of death (getting attacked f.e.). Panic attacks, on the other hand, can be caused through physical reasons alone, but i believe that there were also thoughts in the beginning, that created this kind of illness.

So... meditation is just a way, to learn to let go of thoughts. Its not a cure for all these symptoms, it rather heals the root of it. And Lifeflow speeds up this process, at least thats what ive experienced.

Atb,
Phil

[superslow]

A have a problem with my nervous system - noninterruptible gases when i'm among people. Will meditation help me?