resistance

ali56 · May 15th, 2012, 11:51

Hi

I am on lifeflow 8 but am finding am very emotional every morning when I wake. Have posted this problem before and was told it could be because i am resisting How do I work through this. Sorry if this sounds pathetic but am struggling at present.

Thanks

Ali x

pollyanna · May 15th, 2012, 18:08

Originally Posted by ali56

Hi

I am on lifeflow 8 but am finding am very emotional every morning when I wake. Have posted this problem before and was told it could be because i am resisting How do I work through this. Sorry if this sounds pathetic but am struggling at present.

Thanks

Ali x

Hi Ali,

doesn't sound at all pathetic and you have no reason to apologise

Meditation can bring up repressed feelings and sensations, sometimes even things we didn't know we were carrying around with us. Bringing up these hidden things can give the impression to a person that they just "came out of nowhere". You may well be sub-consciously resisting whatever is coming up to be released. Whenever you feel any discomfort during or outside of meditation, it simply means you are resisting and it is the resistance itself that is causing the discomfort.

The solution to resisting is to simply and unemotionally observe the sensation with unattached curiosity. This may be a tight feeling in your stomach or some other kind of discomfort. Don't follow the thoughts you are having, just observe the sensation you have somewhere in your body. You can observe anytime a negative or anxious emotion presents itself. It is coming to the surface, giving you the opportunity to let it go. Until we learn how to do this, we resist, supress and hold on to the emotion.

As you let go of these hampering emotions you will become more and more free.

We all have the peaceful place within us. You just need to let go of the burdens of negative emotions and you will feel lighter and lighter. Look forward to hearing how you progress and wish you an abundance of peace and joy

ali56 · May 15th, 2012, 19:15

Originally Posted by pollyanna

Hi Ali,

doesn't sound at all pathetic and you have no reason to apologise

Meditation can bring up repressed feelings and sensations, sometimes even things we didn't know we were carrying around with us. Bringing up these hidden things can give the impression to a person that they just "came out of nowhere". You may well be sub-consciously resisting whatever is coming up to be released. Whenever you feel any discomfort during or outside of meditation, it simply means you are resisting and it is the resistance itself that is causing the discomfort.

The solution to resisting is to simply and unemotionally observe the sensation with unattached curiosity. This may be a tight feeling in your stomach or some other kind of discomfort. Don't follow the thoughts you are having, just observe the sensation you have somewhere in your body. You can observe anytime a negative or anxious emotion presents itself. It is coming to the surface, giving you the opportunity to let it go. Until we learn how to do this, we resist, supress and hold on to the emotion.

As you let go of these hampering emotions you will become more and more free.

We all have the peaceful place within us. You just need to let go of the burdens of negative emotions and you will feel lighter and lighter. Look forward to hearing how you progress and wish you an abundance of peace and joy

Hi pollyanna
Thank you for your response makes sense.

Ali x

olmate · May 16th, 2012, 14:41

Sometimes it takes time and work to distill deep seated issues. Try to look upon it as a healing process. Takes a bit of time to heal things that may have built up over years or extended periods sometimes. View it as a positive, perhaps the path to freedom.
Olmate

Mr Monkey · May 16th, 2012, 15:03

Hi Ali,

I can find myself being dragged down by negative emotions and (as others have mentioned above) it has helped me to simply observe them (when I remember too

) rather than get bound up in them.

For me, one of the easiest ways to remember/picture this is through an analogy Edwin posted on a different thread. It helped me, I hope its of use/help to you too

.

Originally Posted by Edwin

The thing that has helped me in the past has always been to invite a negative feeling in, instead of resisting it.

Negative feelings are associated with pain and discomfort, and we don't want those do we ?
Well there is the problem right there !

Think of yourself as "the room in the middle"

On your right is the "Current upcoming emotion room", and to your left is the "processed emotions room".
In order for your emotions to be processed, they have to pass through your room. Of course we welcome the positive feelings in, they feel good !
But as much as we try to hold on to it, as soon as they are in our room, they pass through to the next room. It's impossible to hold on to a positive feeling, it's like trying to grab a stream of water with your hands.

But as soon as a negative emotion comes knocking on your door, you try to push back on the door, but the negative emotion puts his foot in, and as much as you push, you can't close it.

And here comes the real problem: As long as you are blocking the door for the negative emotion, you are blocking all other emotions as well, both negative and positive.

So, instead, allow the negative emotion in. Yes, it will hurt like !@#$ as long as it is in your room, but just like the positive emotion, it will go on to the next room. And then the next emotion is ready to enter !

If the emotion that is being blocked is quite strong, don't be surprised if your body reacts as soon as you have allowed it to enter.
I once experienced a twitching leg for 10 minutes after having let go of one of my biggest fears.
There is no need to feel scared about that, but if you do feel scared, allow that emotion in as well

So, as soon as you bump into the blocked emotion, start talking to it, tell it to come in, thank him for his effort to warn you or to remind you of that old pain you never before allowed.
Allow yourself to become engulfed with the pain and anxiety, and be prepared to experience it for as long as is needed.
It will pass !

Good luck !

samsaraspath · June 4th, 2012, 12:02

Mr. Monkey wrote:

"Allow yourself to become engulfed with the pain and anxiety, and be prepared to experience it for as long as is needed."

I don't think I can do that.

And I hate myself for being a coward.

Mr Monkey · June 4th, 2012, 12:46

Hi Samsaraspath,

Reflecting on your post made me consider if I am always open with and accepting of my feelings every time and the fact is I’m not, and I’d be surprised if most people are. At times, last week in fact, I was feeling really rubbish, caught up in emotions and all I wanted was the feelings to go away, I wanted to shut the door (and gave it a damn good try too

).

I put the post by Edwin up because I thought it was a great articulation of the reality of emotions, they come/go and we should ideally notice them, acknowledge them and embrace them rather than try to ignore/reject them. I occasionally catch myself thinking I should be able to do this all the time too, but on the reality is the post is something to aspire to rather than something you should be perfect at doing each and every time.

During occasions of feeling bad about not being perfect at this (or anything else) sometimes I’m able to catch my mind/thoughts, take whatever club its beating me with (In the case the ‘should club’, ie “you should be able to do this perfectly”) out of its hand, press the perspective reset button and look at the same situation through a positive, but realistic perspective.

So, looking at this a bit differently, for me the truth is we shouldn’t kick our own ar*es for not wanting to jump in the deep end of the pool all the time. We should pat ourselves on the back for getting in the water and starting to wade up to the deep end, appreciating that it’s something not everyone is able/willing to do.

samsaraspath · June 4th, 2012, 12:56

Being a perfectionist, all-or-nothing, personality.... There is no point in doing anything if you can't perfect it.

Somewhere in my head I recognise this as impossible.... but the other 99.99% of the grey-matter disagrees.

I wouldn't enter martial arts unless I was relatively sure at some point I could kick Bruce-Lees a$$. I wouldn't take up painting unless there was much better than even odds that one or more of my paintings would hang next to a Picasso or a Rembrant. I wouldn't take singing lessons, unless I was sure at some point someone already famous would be jealous of my ability.

Life is a game, there's no point in playing to lose.