Dear Flossie.
I have seen some really good advices allready. Read them through a few times, and I too recommend to start meditation and read Eckhart Tolle's book "The power of Now" and/or " a new earth".
Reading your story, one of the things I notice from your story is that, by modern psychological terms, you would be diagnosed as someone with "low self-esteem".
After you have read the books of Tolle, the translation would be something like " your Ego is feeding on it's self created mysery ".
Both of them would be true.
You seem to be mixing up a few things.
Love, real love and a relationship between people, has nothing to do with being overweight.
My wife has been battling against weight problems for as long as I know her.
She is no Pamela Anderson to look at, but I love her to death.
She could be so heavy that she had to walk through the door sideways, and I would still love her.
I started noticing her when she was allready overweight, and I was attracted ( there is that word again ) to her because she is a wonderfull person, with great sense of humor, always positive and smiling, yet still a strong personality that knows what she wants.
We have been through some very rough times, but I never felt like cheating on her.
I simply love her and the thought of cheating makes me sick.
Your law of attraction will probably begin with friendship. For your plan to start working, I advice you to seek activities where you meet lots of people, and make contact with them for no other reason than wanting new friends.
You are not looking for a partner, just friends. Lots and lots of friends, that keep you busy with nice parties, visits at their and your house, and having tons of fun together.
The more people you meet, the more friends you make, the happyer you will become. They more you will value yourself as a wonderfull person, because these friends will want to hang out with you !
And finally, and read this back after you have read Tolle's books, have you ever really looked at your body ?
I know I know, you think you are ugly.
Now stop looking at the outside, and simply look at your hands.
Move your fingers, turn your hands around, and really notice what a wonderfull peace of engineering you have been given.
Those ends to your arms are there to help you with so many things, bake cakes, clean the toilet, paint the ceiling, put make-up on your face, caress a loved one, caress yourself, all this with the same set of tools, your hands !
This wonderfull gift has been given you, and these are your hands alone !
Now look at the rest of your body, and really look the way you look at your hands.
Look at the wonderfull gift of your body, all that it can do, all that it can make you feel !
You are living in a gift from the divine, and your Soul is a part of the divine.
You, your combination of Soul and Body, are a part of God !
Knowing this, how can you think of yourself badly ? How can you be worth less than someone else ?
Every person on this planet is part of the same God, is equally divine !
I have no choice but to love you, because you are a part of me like I am a part of you !
When someone talks badly to you, feel sorry for them, for they do not know that they are talking down to themselves, forgetting their connection to God by denying yours !
You truly are amazing, simply by existing, just like I am equally amazing ( I know, it sounds weird when someone says it to themselves, but you should try it ! ) and there are thousands of guys waiting to find you.
But first, you will have to work on yourself like we told you.
Have some patience, and try the meditation course ( it's free ).
Buy Eckhart Tolle's books, and start reading them.
And don't be a stranger
you are always welcome here !
if anyone has time, some help please
it's ok
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