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Trouble with Meditation

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by MrSoloDolo, Feb 25, 2014.

  1. MrSoloDolo

    MrSoloDolo Member

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    I’ve already made a similar thread about a year ago on this site but I’m still struggling with meditation. Whenever I try to meditate, I end up falling asleep or just lying there with nothing happen, I meditate lying down. Also when I try meditating while sitting, I still end up just sitting there without anything happening. When I meditate, I try to focus on my breath. I want to know, how do I know if I’m focusing on my breath correctly. Another thing is that while I’m trying to focus on my breath I have thoughts that go through my head. How do I stop my thoughts? Finally, I was wondering what is the correct way to sit while meditating? The sitting postures that I’ve tried have made me uncomfortable.
     
  2. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    Hi MrSoloDolo,

    What are you expecting to happen?
    I ask, because many people think that if they start meditating, then during meditation they're going to experience some magical, almost psychedelic experience... but that just isn't meditation.
    Certainly you can reach a state of deepness in the meditation where you're aware of just being completely aware (it's something that cannot be actually described with words), and in that state there are no worries, no pain, no 'thing'... just a knowledge that you are everything there is.

    Now, that doesn't mean that everything goes completely quiet; it doesn't mean that your thoughts will stop; and it doesn't mean that your physical body is not experiencing sensations or receiving things through it's senses... it's more a case that we finally detach from being concerned (in the negative sense) with these things.

    The mind is where the thoughts are generated, and the mind is an autonomous part of us, just as our heart beats and our lungs move to make us breath; without us thinking about them. The mind remains active without us having to think about it and it will always generate thoughts. You're certainly not going to stop thoughts... however...

    YOU are observing the thoughts, you are not the thoughts themselves. YOU are the observer... the awareness of what IS. Most of the time we spend attached to the thoughts our mind generates... we don't just let them pass. In becoming attached to them, we feed those thoughts and follow them, seeing where they lead us, getting caught up them to the extent that our conscious awareness is distracted from everything else happening around us.

    So, when meditating, the aim is not to try and stop the thoughts... that's something you won't achieve. What you can do is aim to keep the focus of your meditation whether that's on your breathing or your mantra etc. By doing that, you bring yourself away from becoming attached to the thoughts, and as the mind generates them, they simply pass, and our awareness expands to encompass more than just the mind and thoughts; with practice expanding to the awareness of everything.

    I've said it before on these forums and I'll re-iterate that now... breath-focused meditation is not always the easiest style of meditation to use, especially if you don't have a teacher to guide you; but for some reason it's one of the styles of meditation that is banded about as being one that can be easily learnt and anyone can do.... well... yes, anyone can do it, if they've had it explained to them properly. If they haven't, those people typically end up trying to control the breathing as part of their meditation... trying to force it to become a steady, regular breath. The fact is that the body needs to breath naturally... and that means that sometimes it will be shallow, sometimes deep, sometimes fast, sometimes slow, sometimes pausing, sometimes gasping, however the body feels it needs. The trick to learning breathing meditation is to learn to just observe the breathing as it happens naturally, without trying to control it. When we try and control it, the physical body is not operating naturally; it becomes uncomfortable; and we become distracted from the meditation practice. This is one of the reasons I prefer to recommend people try a mantra meditation where the mantra just repeats as it needs without it being something attached to the autonomous physical actions of the body. However, even this often requires guidance as people try to repeat the mantra at the rate of the breathing and then, in turn, start to take control of the breathing. Likewise the mantra needs to be left to it's own speed, it's own internal volume (or external if you're verbalising it) etc.

    As for sitting postures, meditation isn't about being uncomfortable. I make sure I'm sitting in a comfortable chair with my lower back supported (or sit close to the front edge so that my back is upright), but ensure that my head is not supported, otherwise the body feels it's in a position conducive to sleep. And then, if during the meditation, I experience discomfort, I just gently move and adjust so that I'm comfortable. Ignore those who tell you that to meditate you must sit in a full lotus position or suchlike, and you must not move during the meditation... they speak from a place of power/control and ego; and what they say is just not true.

    I hope that is of help to you.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  3. MrSoloDolo

    MrSoloDolo Member

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    I’m expecting a deep feeling of relaxation and mental calmness. That is what I used to feel when I used to be able to meditate properly.

    You said breath meditation is difficult to do unless it’s explained properly. Can you explain the right way to do breath meditation, or if not do you know where I can get it explained to me?
     
  4. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    I thought that I had given that in what I'd written. :)

    To re-iterate...

    Let the breathing be natural, and practice observing it, regardless of how fast/slow, shallow/deep it is... If you find yourself controlling it; making the breathing regular etc., come back to letting yourself just observe it and letting it happen naturally again.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  5. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi MrSoloDolo,

    maybe the following comment and screenshot from Facebook may be of interest to you:-

    "For nearly 20 years I had not been successful at meditation. In spite of the best efforts of friends, for some reason I just didn't seem to get it. For all intents and purposes I had given up. But Project Meditation taught me how. Anyone can learn and it is FREE!"
     

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  6. arnoldbrame

    arnoldbrame New Member

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    It's been 3 months but I'm not seeing anything happening with my mind. I'm still angry, not at peace! :mad:
     

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