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tired, sad and confused......

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by AzBearin, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. AzBearin

    AzBearin Member

    Earlier this morning a short email on another website turned my normal start of the day to becoming unbelivably sad, confused, lonely and just plain tired. I have been trying to shake this but am not succeeding. I have been trying to understand "why" an email has turned this day into one of just trying to get thru it. Actually I think my "state of mind" for the past few weeks has been no good at all and this email just pushed me into this time of reflection.

    I have been just existing lately with a complete lack of ambition, drive or interest in anything that goes on around me. I have been using LF 10 for about 2 weeks now and wonder if this is part of what is going on with me. During my meditations I can tell I am resisting due to physical symptoms that come up i.e my legs get tense, jumpy, and they hurt at times. When I come out of the meditation I feel achy, out of sorts and just plain awful. I was a user of HS but stopped using that due to cost of the program and the physical side effects I was getting while using HS. I wanted to jump back into meditation and came accross LF and like it so far but it is bothering me what is going on in my head lately and the way I have been feeling. I am being treated for depression and have been on meds for awhile and now I wonder if that has stopped working also. I have been searching on that topic and what I have read just depresses me even more. YES it is possible that the dosage and meds I am on DO STOP working. Damn it! It bothers me to no end that I am on meds and now I find out they might not be working either!!

    I'm really not sure why I am writing all this but I just want to spill my guts today. All it took is one lousy email this morning to push me into this despair I feel right now. I know this too shall pass as it alway does but it sure hurts while I am in the middle of it!! Again sorry for the pissy tone but "it is what it is" today! Thanks! :confused:
  2. Scott_11:11

    Scott_11:11 Member

    Hey AZ. fancy seeing you over here. I'm used to seeing your pic over at the H/S forum. I haven't started LF yet, but I intend to check it out when I get some extra money. I can understand about the jittery legs. That's the most annoying part. But that's the program tinkering with your nervous system. As I understand it, that's part of the process.

    As far as feeling bad, as we're all told when we start H/S, this stuff brings out old negative emotions and stagnant energy. So I would guess that it could very well be LF that's pulling this old stuff out of you. I was lucky that I've only gone through AP and didn't get any overwhelm or anything of the sort. I'd certainly think that the above suggestion of activity would be a good idea. The meditation pulls the old energy out, but some sort of physical activity would help to cast it off. Plus the activity creates some good chemicals to help with your mood. As does sun, which I'm sure you get plenty in AZ.

    I can sympathize with the depression. It's always been in the background for me as well. The trick is keep moving I think. I go for walks every day. You may have to just carry on and consider this your time to detoxify yourself of old energy. I hope it works for you.
  3. Ross

    Ross Member

    Tranvic & Scott… good advice!

    AzBearin, … an additional perspective… don’t mean to insult your experience or intellenece, but …

    Some of the physical experiences you’re having may in fact be (as Scott has said) the program tinkering with your nervous system. Under average circumstances, a person might choose to just ignore it and push through, but by the very nature and tone of your post, I would say ‘easy does it buddy’. It seems that your current approach isn’t enabling you to off-load the anxiety you’re carrying.

    Med’s designed to combat depression are engineered to limit specific brain functions and stimulate others to facilitate balance. Some types of mediation have a tendency to over stir the stew. They can over stimulate and result in anxiety instead of giving us a break. I’ve had my psychic eggs scrambled a few times by meditations that were not right for me or where I was emotionally at the time. The combination of the med’s and an intense meditation format has the potential to wind the clock spring a little too tight.

    Meditation has the ability to focus our energy in different areas of our body. Spiritual and intellectual meditations push energy up to the head. If there’s already a lot going on there, we can get stressed, jumbled, etc. Meditations that promote feelings like compassion move energy onto the heart and magnify whatever else we’re feeling. Under some circumstances that’s not so great either. In these situations, the excess energy surfaces randomly in our body as cramps, jitters, pains, hot, cold, etc. We experience exhaustion, confusion and a bunch of negative feelings.

    Sometimes immersion or contact imagery meditations can help. Imagine being immersed in warm (or cool) water or lying in an open field on soft earth. The mind takes these images and uses them as sensory keys to distribute energy throughout the imagined contact areas. In any event (were I you), I would get my mediation focus out of my head and perhaps out of my body all together and focus it on things solid and supportive like stone, earth, trees and water. Stop compressing the energy inside. Let it merge out, drain off, share a little with the rest of the planet. Hold a smooth rock in each hand and meditate on the contact feeling… stuff like that… I’m sure you get the picture.

    Having someone knowledgeable conduct energy balancing work on you may also help drain away and balance your body and mind.

    However it goes, remember it’s temporary… ‘this too shall pass’.

    Breathe out.


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