1. Unfortunately The Project Meditation Community Forum is no longer active. Although registration and the creation of new posts not possible, you can still read and search the forum...

    If you are unable to find what you are looking for within the Project Meditation Community please check out our new Blog and/or our Facebook page.

Talking to self = ego

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by Kauil, Feb 2, 2011.

  1. Kauil

    Kauil Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2010
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    So, being an introverted person, a shy person, whatever you might call it, I have assumed that I have a small ego in relation to these people who can't keep their yapper shut. Turns out that my ego is cleverer than I supposed.

    I talk a lot to myself whenever I think I'm alone. It's therapeutic, dramatic, it's all the things I don't gain in a social interaction with other people due to my shy nature. But it's also the perfect way for the ego to continue its existence in this mind of mine.

    So there I was last evening, going through some age-old stuff from the corners of my mind, out loud, sitting on my bed, when suddenly I thought to myself "Wait, what am I doing? Is this really neccessary? No, it's just the ego in me trying to find an outlet!" And for the rest of the evening the awareness of the ego's attempts to voice it's opinions was so profound that I basically couldn't stop smiling and laughing because of it.

    I don't know how common it is to talk to yourself out loud to such an extend, but if you know this habit in you, then I'd say be aware.
     
  2. Karmoh

    Karmoh Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Hi Kauil,
    Once you become aware of the storyteller, it can be fun, but be aware he’s a tricky character.

    As you become more aware of the ego, you’ll realise that it just thoughts and emotions that build a story. The story is wonderful, stories are fun, but that’s all they are.

    There is NO difference in the egos of an introvert or an extrovert. They’re just different sides of the same coin. One side says, “Don’t look at me,” the other says, “Look at me”

    Laughing at the ego is a very powerful step forward in weakening the egos hold on seeing the truth :)


    Peace :)
     
  3. chris-da-fur

    chris-da-fur Member

    Joined:
    Feb 10, 2010
    Messages:
    59
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    I've found that playing the cursed game called golf brings out my inner storyteller in a big way, its either hilarious or disastrous depending on the strength and content :rolleyes:
     
  4. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,239
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Lazy as i am, theres just one phrase for all of your concerns: let go.
    :D
     
  5. veggietovegan

    veggietovegan Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2010
    Messages:
    30
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    I have never done any self talk, but heard that it is very therapeutic. But I do have plenty of inner dialogues. I hear two people talking in my head, arguing things out and slowly become aware of a third person who just observes the argument. I guess the observer is the "real me."
     
  6. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,858
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    If the third one is a person, then it's not your real me.

    The real me is the only me, as it is real, all the other ones are imaginary.
    They are just thoughts coming up, and you think that the thoughts come from different persons inside you. But that is all just bullocks.

    if that third one can observed, it can't be who you are, because you can't see yourself, just like a knife can't cut itself, a camera can't make pictures of itself.

    The one that is looking, that is the real you. All that can be observed is not you ! :eek:
     
  7. Kauil

    Kauil Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2010
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    I'd say understand and see through, and the letting go will happen.

    Question about awareness. It is described as pre-thought, before the mind, having a watchtower-like quality to it, being in the core of it all, constantly on the lookout. But the way it happens for me is that thoughts arise, and afterwards there is awareness being aware of those thoughts. Shouldn't it happen at the same time as the thought arises? It feels like awareness is this guard that inspects everything that comes and goes, a ring of consciousness around my mind, rather than being a watchtower.

    Is awareness only 'felt' when there is something to be aware of? When I realize what my ego is trying to do when there's a need to say something aloud, it seems like a mind function because it always follows the thing that I'm supposedly aware of.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2011
  8. Karmoh

    Karmoh Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Hi Kauil,

    This is correct, you can never be aware of awareness.
    As Edwin points out
    Awareness is the limitless, boundless non-conceptual space to which everything comes and goes. It is wordless, thought-free, non-locatable presence. Appearances come and go to awareness. Everything that happens in life is an appearance to that awareness. For example, a concept is an appearance to awareness. When a concept appears, it seems to refer to a separately existing object. What is it that sees that concept? That is awareness. When that concept disappears, the experience of that object existing as its own separate thing disappears also.

    The awareness to which all thoughts come and go is not, itself, a concept. The word “awareness” is pointing to that which hears the voice in your head. When that voice utters the word “AWARENESS” that which hears that sound and sees that thought is actual awareness. Therefore, we can never see or capture awareness with any word or thought. Whatever we state, express, or think, it is an appearance to this basic awareness. It is best not to try to get too involved in intellectualizing what is meant by the word “AWARENESS.” No one understands awareness. It is not a thing. :)

    Peace :)
     
  9. Kauil

    Kauil Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2010
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    Thank you for the insight. I was, however, wondering more as to whether my experience (as described above) is awareness or just a mind function that is saying "I think I understand this ego", thus just creating more ego?

    I must say I have felt a bit different ever since the night of this....... glimpse. More aware... but I feel the need to be certain. Or is that just ego? Of course. Meh. I just don't want to fall into a trap laid by my ego. Or is this 'not wanting' just more ego control? Arh.

    FINEE I'll just stick with being aware.
     
  10. Karmoh

    Karmoh Member

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    349
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    The tricky part is understanding that there is no separation from awareness. What you felt was awareness, but the moment you realised it, it became a concept.
    You were conscious of seeing your ego at work, but you are trying to separate awareness from thoughts. Think of it like steam in a shower room, it’s there you can see, sense and feel it, but you cannot separate it from the space in pervades.
    The ego is just a stream of thoughts (past and future) built in to a story. The realisation is to see that these thoughts are not separate from awareness. They rise up into awareness and fall away from awareness. The space that receives the thought is awareness. :)

    Try not to think too hard about it... The real you is awareness so you can never see or feel it.

    To expand on Edwin simile, try using your left eye to see your left eye ;) :)

    Peace :)
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2011
  11. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2009
    Messages:
    1,239
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Its a let go, before all these thoughts arise ;)
    (that doesnt imply any right or wrong from me here)
     
  12. GilesC

    GilesC Member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2009
    Messages:
    1,856
    Likes Received:
    1
    Trophy Points:
    36
    Just referring to the original question...

    We all have thoughts arising in the mind (though as we all say, these thoughts are not us, but a product of the mind/ego). Different people manifest these thoughts in different ways. Some people talk out loud (often in private, sometimes in public :)), some people let the thoughts manifest through physical gestures, and some people just focus their listening on them.

    We are all different, and any way of letting the thoughts manifest is simply the nature of the little self. None of the ways is right or wrong, so let such judgements go.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  13. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    Joined:
    Dec 15, 2007
    Messages:
    1,858
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36
    It's a tricky thing...

    If you look around a room without focussing on something, leave the room, and someone asks you to describe the room for you, you might forget the orange that was on the table in the middle of the room.

    Now if you would look around the room again, this time intently memorizing all that is there, you would not miss the orange.



    Now, my question to you is, which is awareness, and which is mind ?

    The first one is awareness, and the second one is mind ?



    Ah, but it's a trick question !
    Both of them are awareness, but only one of them also is mind

    This is why it is so hard to seperate mind and awareness ! Without awareness nothing exists ! No mind, no life, no earth, no toiletpaper, NOTHING !
    So, even mind, ego, whatever you may call it, happens in awareness. It is the first condition on which everything is based. The Nothing in which Everything appears.

    Yet, it is important to try to seperate awareness from mind, to understand that the observer, the real you, is not who the ego is.
    But in the end, ego can't be seperated by awareness, as it happens in awareness.
    Once you realise that, ego will dissolve within you, and there will never be any misunderstanding about the "I-thought" anymore. You are observing the "I thought, and thus you know that it's not you that thinks "I" but it's the mind that does.

    That is all that ego really is, a false belief that a thought like "I am making a mess of my life" is thought by you.
    No, it is a suggestion by mind trying to convince you that you are making a mess of your life. If you don't believe that you are that "I" as suggested by mind, then there is no "I" to feel bad either. And still, the suggestion can be followed to want to improve the life you are leading, based on that very thought, but without feelings of guilt or shame.
    So there is no suffering, because there is no sufferer.
     
  14. MetaCognition

    MetaCognition Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    6
    That actually clears up an issue I have been dealing with my entire life Edwin, thank you so much for framing the information in that manner.
     

Share This Page