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Postcard on the way back from the edge

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by Coenrad Morgan, Oct 28, 2008.

  1. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi Keith, I'm just catching up on a whole load of posts... I missed your story when you posted it, but just wanted to say that there are so many people here who care a great deal about you, you are never really alone..we are all connected and with each other all of the time, just remember that and think about us. Whenever I needed picking up a while ago I just used to come and read some posts here, there is always something which will lift your heart and spirit. Take care, Chris xx :)
     
  2. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Dear Keith
    First of all I want to say that I consider you my friend - somehow, reading all your heartfelt posts makes me feel like I know you: a person that's good, loyal, sincere, and generous with time, thoughts and feelings. Like many others who post here. It is a privilege to know you! :):):) And I care about you.

    Second, you do write well and obviously enjoy it. Your story about Ann, your poetry, your word-pictures, they all come alive, vividly portraying whatever subject you choose to write about. I really hope, when the time is right for you, that you'll go for it and write the book that's in you! I too will buy it.

    Third, you have written about how the expanded you no longer fits within the confines of your church. I too went through that although I (like you I believe) continue to have a very personal and powerful relationship with Jesus. I also revere the Buddha and various other teachers that I feel are "enlightened" who have shown pathways to that state beyond identification with the ego.
    (Now that would be an interesting thread - what the dickens does it mean to be enlightened?! Of course many here have talked a little about that already....)
    Anyhow, the point is, we're all growing together , sharing the benefits of Lifeflow and the ongoing reflections and experiences that come with being on the path. You're not alone and I'm glad you're part of this forum.
    Kudos to you and to all of us for being on the journey!


    In love and light
    Bhavya :):):)
     
  3. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    in your slipstream if you don't mind

    Bhavya,

    I'm glad you came back, I really resonated with your religious beliefs, i seek the truth and know it when I feel it, at least, the truth i am ready for, like you Christian by upbringing, Buddhist by study, Toaist by the reading of Loa Tsu, Sufi by reading the beautiful work of Rumi.....many rivers..one ocean, they all originate and end in it...strange how on a planet of 6 Billion one can feel so alone in your beliefs....your okay Bhavya, I'm getting better....and well all be better when Cousin Keith realises the high regard and warmth we all feel for him....Keith...one of those movie quotes you like so much.

    "who loves ya baby" - Kojac.........WE DO!
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2008
  4. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Thank You So Very Much

    Ah my dear friends, Bhavya, Chris, Gus, Edwin, Pollyanna, Coenrad (and I sense there other kind and gracious friends who have been reading this thread but haven't commented yet),

    Your kind and supportive words, mean so much to me. I realize that you each are busy with many things in your life right now. That you would take time to read my posts and to comment so gently, so insightfully, and yes,so humorously--the ability to put a smile on a friend's face is such a powerful gift and you, Edwin & Coenrad, are masters of this--is so amazing and gracious to me. THANK YOU each from the depths of my heart.

    Coenrad, thank you for mentioning about Grace Cooke and her book Meditation. I had never heard of her or her experiences with the teacher White Eagle. I think this was just another example of: "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear." I did a bit of research on the internet and ordered the book Meditation by Grace Cooke and the following three books by White Eagle:

    --The Quiet Mind
    --Still Voice
    --The Living Word of St. John

    Coenrad, you were spot on correct when you intuited that these books might speak to me. Thank you.

    In closing, I'd like to share a passage from L. M. Montgomery's book Emily of New Moon that my sister recently shared with me. With love and deepest respect, --Keith :)

    "Emily called it that, ["the flash"] although she felt that the name didn't exactly describe it. It couldn't be described -- not even to Father, who always seemed a little puzzled by it. Emily never spoke of it to any one else.

    It had always seemed to Emily, ever since she could remember, that she was very, very near to a world of wonderful beauty. Between it and herself hung only a thin curtain; she could never draw the curtain aside --but sometimes, just for a moment, a wind fluttered it and then it was as if she caught a glimpse of the enchanting realm beyond -- only a glimpse --and heard a note of unearthly music.

    This moment came rarely -- went swifty, leaving her breathless with the inexpressible delight of it. She could never recall it -- never summon it -- never pretend it; but the wonder of it stayed with her for days. It never came twice with the same thing. Tonight the dark boughs against that far-off sky had given it. It had come with a high, wild note of wind in the night, with a shadow wave over a ripe field, with a greybird lighting on her widow-sill in a storm, with the singing of "Holy, holy, holy" in church, with a glimpse of the kitchen fire when she had come home on a dark autumn night, with the spirit-like blue of ice palms on a twilit pane, with a felicitous new word when she was writing down a "description" of something. And always when the flash came to her Emily felt that life was a wonderful, mysterious thing of persistent beauty."
     
  5. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    hehe in all honesty, I never touched your forehead, you did that one on your own :p
     
  6. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Hello Uncle Keith.....

    I'm glad your back....you've been missed, as for white Eagle....glad you may find something in there to uplift you, goodness knows life can get you down, like i said to Chris in a post a long, long, time ago, in a galaxy, far, far, away....

    "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny" - yoda

    In this forum I have learned, when the tunnels dark, others hold up the light..this motley crew did it for me..we leave no one behind...besides, Keith, who are we without you?

    remember who loves ya baby......we do:D
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2008
  7. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    sensitive forehead...I mean, subject, Edwin...where did you learn that forehead rubbing NLP, from a book written by the markiz de Sad....?:eek:
     
  8. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I share that feeling about Keith and feel the same about you and all the other regulars in this forum Bhavya
    I too have been raised in a christian based church, even tho it is a bit different from traditional church. I am still a part of this church. If you are interested, take a look at this link, not to join my religion, but to know where I come from: Het Apostolisch Genootschap - The Apostolic Society

    BTW we have a church in South Africa Coenrad :) in Johannesburg !
    Fortunately, in my church, we are constantly searching for a new, better way to live, and even tho our goal is definately not "enlightenment", I am pretty sure that, after evolving the way we do right now for many more years to come, we will eventually find it.
    I just want to take the short cut through meditation and reading Tolle's books.

    However, I have to admit that certain things in my church have new meaning to me now, like the post that Mitch made, "God is in all of us", this is also a term very much used in our church.
    If you listen to the old, dogmatised words with the ears of someone who is starting to grasp what Tolle means, the words take on a whole new meaning.

    I have to say that this has been a major breakthrough for me, and I have returned to my church after having been absent for almost a year.
    To me, it is not "twisting" the words to fit my personal reality, but more realising the truth of the words in the Bible for their true meaning, as they were meant by Jesus, who, and there is no doubt in my mind about this, must have been enlightened himself.

    I think a thread called "What the Yahoo is enlightenment anyway" would be quite interesting too... You should start one Bhavya ;)
     
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Haha !

    Actually, it was used by my wife to help overcome her depression :eek: We can make jokes all we want about NLP, but it really is quite powerfull...

    BTW Do you know the Drakensberg Boys’ Choir ? They were in Holland in our church last summer... they sing like angels !
     
  10. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Feedback from the Meditation crash test dummy

    My journey as documented here started a long time ago, there was a time when in a world gone mad, a young Boy could sit in the dark looking at the stars, silently talking to God, (pick your own label, realy does not matter) at that time, I could feel something, I didn't see flashes of light or burning bush's (although there where some, leave matches lying around a young boy.....that process documented in the white of my Mom's hair) but I felt that somehow everything would be okay.

    The years since are documented upstream somewhere. On October 27, 2008, I wrote to Jodie,the e-mails subject line read "Postcard from the edge", enough was finaly enough, through her encouragement and Michaels relayed advice, I came here, meditated each and every day, for no good reason I started a thread called "Postcard on the way back from the edge", what was to follow in the days since could not be imagined, as for meditation I still do, will for as long as I breath, IT WORKS.

    In that time, the outer world that drove me to the very edge, has not changed much, but I have, 11 days later, I feel that connection returning, it wont be long before an older boy ( still love the matches MAN!!) will once again find himself lost in the wonders of an African night sky, talking to his God, this time able to also listen through the tool of meditation. There are many skies I have yet to see, the dancing lights, or meteor showers, but more wonderous than all of that, I have seen the Lion sleep beside the Lamb, Human beings are probably the most dualistic and often psychotic species on the planet, yet here in this forum, I have seen all religions, all nationalities from all social circumstances, genders and ages band together, support, teach,play with and learn from each other.......in these times leading out of the darkness of the 20th century, what can be more wonderous......I see the return to innocense I seek here on a daily basis.

    After years of feeling my soul was dead, sleeping somewhere cold, I love again, I laugh again, I have a sense of humor again, I have hope.......no matter what you believe, religion you practice or your life situation, meditation plugs right in there and makes EVERYTHING so much richer and fuller......if your reading this, have not made up your mind yet....download Discover Meditation and see for yourself....11 days later, using LifeFlow 10....Ive turned my back on the edge....returning to Innocense....thank you Michael, Jodie and all the members of this motley crew who never left me behind...THANK YOU ONE AND ALL.......and Chris, Edwin, Pollyanna,Keith,Aja,Bhavja,Basmaki, Dear Rachel,Jodie, michael ...who loves ya baby? - I do
     
    Last edited: Nov 8, 2008
  11. purplevibe

    purplevibe Member

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    Hi Coenrad,

    Having read your previous posts, I am so glad you are finding life so much more 'richer and fuller' with Lifeflow 10, (this sounds so glib, but it is heart-felt, I am tired, and wanted to respond, you have gone a long way), I too, am relatively new to all this, and I have derived so much from it, but also, as you say from all the people on this forum. I have so much energy these days I don't know what to do with myself, and it is all positive energy. It is good to read such richly fulfilling stuff on this web-site, it supports us all, it is good to read spiritually fulfilling literature, the debates on here are mind-blowing at times. Thank you all, for being there :) it makes my life so much better, truly. Have to go to bed now, have a good day!
     
  12. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Your right

    Hello, Thank you

    I'm GMT +2 so that puts me at around an hour ahead of you, I share your sentiments regarding being tired and this forum, its very kind of you to add your voice.

    I am very pleased to read of your young ones burst of creativity, I wish you both well,

    Sleep well:)
     
  13. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Dear Coenrad, I am so very pleased to hear how much your heart and spirit have lifted since you first posted here, I love reading your posts. The night skies are indeed awesome, and maybe one day we will all be out there together, gazing up at the stars and wondering at the unimaginable vastness of space, breathing in the deep and wonderful sense of peace it can bring.

    I wish you much love, joy and peace on your journey, you really are amazing!! :) xxx
     
    Last edited: Nov 9, 2008
  14. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Random Thoughts on a Rainy Sunday

    Hi to All of you!
    Edwin I'm glad for you that you've found a way back to your church. There's nothing like a community of people sharing on the spiritual path. I've never been able to truly fit into a group though I there are ones that I visit from time to time but am never really a part of. I wish it was otherwise.
    BTW, I agree with you about NLP. I did a first track some 13 years ago and found it insightful. For those of you who are unfamiliar with it, it's not an attempt to replace meditation or the spiritual path but rather a look at the way the mind works, how it communicates with others and how it hypnotizes us into patterns that work or that don't work to varying degrees. Ways to reprogram ourselves, develop rapport with others, notice patterns in problem solving so you can hire the right person for the right job... and on and on. Really it's a great bunch of tools for right living if any of you get a chance to take it

    Coenrad, I'm really pleased that you're finding LF 10 working for you. And I love Rumi too. He's my fave as the kidlets say. Coming from that deep place with so few words, surprising imagery astonishing the unsuspecting reader.... the finest!

    I recently had the stomach flu and thought of you Rachel, and others with chronic health issues. I hope you're continuing with Lifeflow and will share any progress you make on this subject. I do believe spirituality and the creative power of the mind can do wonders if we let it. Still, I could use more expertise, personally.

    And finally, after thinking that Lifeflow wasn't going to bring up my stuff, it did - or at least I suppose that's what it was. I have various ongoing problems with my home, specifically water coming from 2 shallow wells which are subject to contamination. (I live in a rural area). I haven't been able to find a new source, and have drilled a very expensive well which produced no water. Then I thought I had a solution with a purification system but apparently not. New problems have surfaced which makes that unusable and finding this out brought enormous anxiety because my home is my nest egg and it becomes unsaleable if the water's no good. :eek: Anyway, long story short, it's a difficult situation for which I've yet to find a good solution.

    What was interesting is that when I woke up the other night with tremendous anxiety I was able to just observe my mind with its nightmare scenarios. I could see that it was just conditioning creating fear with my body responding. Not right away, but I kept hammering away at it - well, who's suffering here? Who's observing the mind with these thoughts? I cwas able to move into what was just witnessing the show....

    The anxiety is still there so the storm isn't over but Hopefully it'll be an episode that'll teach me how to can gain more equanimity and be in a better position to problem solve.

    Well, that's it. Quite a rambling....:rolleyes:

    Wishing you all the best of the best

    Bhavya :)
     
  15. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Hi Bhavya,
    I just read your post. Thank you SO MUCH for taking time to share some of your life experiences. I empathize with the emotions you are experiencing surrounding the ongoing challenge of water issues with your home. AND, I admire you for the space meditating is providing you so you can just observe these emotions with a sense of curiosity and detachment. I realize the storm isn't over, but I am so happy for you and proud of you too.

    Your presence on this forum and in particular your kind and generous comments to me when I've been feeling low and uncertain have made such a HUGE positive difference in my life. I just wanted to say that I notice you and feel blessed to count you as a friend. Thanks!!! --Keith :)
     
  16. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi Bhavya,

    Thank you for sharing your experiences with everyone, it's great hearing how people are coping and using Lifeflow in practice to deal with life situations. I found myself able to sit back and really 'observe' some really difficult emotions with total detachment just once so far, it felt very odd but my mind felt so clear and I did feel much better after the session.

    Hope you manage to sort out the water issue soon.

    Take care,

    Chris :)
     
  17. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Thanks Keith and Chris for your loving support. I appreciate it.

    This life sure is an ongoing show. I read somewhere that there is no such thing as "mind" per se. It's just an endless flow of thoughts, one after another. We don't know where they come from though we recognize the songs they sing.

    When life brings a storm (to mix metaphors!) all I can do is stand back and let it blow over in its own time.

    I think for me it comes down to faith. Do I trust myself? Will my Higher Power help me? Can I listen to guidance when it comes?

    This morning I choose to say yes, yes and yes

    In peace
    Bhavya
     
  18. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Bhavya,

    I can relate to your feeling of never REALLY fitting in.
    Even tho I have returned to my church, I have no problem with not being a part of the "community life" in the sense that others might experience it.
    For that, I would have to try to make my ego part of the community ego.

    I recently talked to a woman in my church who experienced the same feeling as well, even tho she is a very active person in our church, and probably nobody would suspect this with her ( I know how to listen, so people tell me a lot ).

    She thought of it in a very special way:

    In a church is like being in a garden with a pond.
    The hardcore group of people are " in the pond ", those that never really become part of the hardcore group are those "outside the pond" ( and usually disregarded by those that consider themselves a little better due to their being more active ).
    Since she didn't feel like "part of the pond" and didn't choose to become part of it ( she hates gossip, which usually only occurs "in the pond" ), she decided to become " an island in the pond ".

    This way she is in the middle of the pond, but not really a part of it.

    So, she talks to everybody, does all the activities in the church, but doesn't go to birthday's, or other "outside church but inside pond" activities.

    After she told me this, I did the same, and I too have my own island in the pond :) I think it is right next to hers, as we wave to each other when we see each other nowadays :p
     
  19. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hey Coenrad,
    I had to let you know that on Friday evening 7th November we were all at my youngest daughters home and I did see a flash of light and a giant burning bush :D

    We were sitting outside burning lots of rubbish on a huge fire and as I looked up into the sky I was thinking about so many of you in the community, hoping you were all enjoying a nice Friday evening with family or friends and I saw a shooting star flash through the sky :)

    I am so pleased that you and so many others are enjoying more inner peace and I wish you an abundance of it along with lots of love and heaps of happiness :) :) :)
     
  20. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Hey Coenrad

    Hey buddy,
    Just wanted to say that I've missed seeing your posts these last few days. Perhaps, you're deep in meditation right now and just need a little time and space to yourself. I can sure understand that. When my life gets really full of all the chatter and busyness of everyday life, I find that spending time in nature soothes me and brings things back in perspective. There's a small mountain stream up the South Fork of Provo Canyon where my younger brother and I meet once a month for an early morning hike. The experience itself and the memory of it are ones that keep me charged and remind me of my own connection with the Source. If you get a chance, I'd love to hear your story--and anyone else's--of where you go to recharge. Please know that I care about you and wish you well this day. --Keith :)

    P.S. Here is my attempt to use words to describe one of my "reconnecting" experiences.

    Experiences of a Mountain Stream
    by Keith Jensen ( SUNDAY, JUNE 11, 2006)

    A little before seven in the morning.
    I’m sitting on one our Adirondack chairs.
    The sprinklers are on their second to last setting.
    I hear their constant hush, hush, hushing.

    The air this morning is cool.
    There is hardly any breeze at all—
    Just a slight breath that ever so often sighs
    And stirs the top most leaves of the trees.

    I hear the sounds of car wheels rolling on the pavement
    As occasional cars pass in the distance.
    As I listen quietly, underlying the sounds of the sprinklers and of passing cars,
    I can hear the faint chirping of birds.

    The clouds in front of me are wispy—
    Like cotton pulled and stretched thin.
    The early morning sky is gray-blue.
    With the rising of the sun it will soon be a deep sky-blue.

    “Oneness with God and with others.”
    What does this mean to me?
    I believe that the essential organizing power of the universe is good.
    I like to believe that this force is infinite and personal at the same time.

    “What is individuality and personhood?”
    “Is God a specific person and individuality?”
    “Or is God just a concept—
    A living breathing, expanding force of good?”

    See, I just don’t think that, with my finite mind,
    There is anyway for me to grasp the concept of God.
    For example, I have seen and can imagine a beautiful mountain stream.
    I have experienced the concept of “mountain stream.”

    But exactly what does this mean
    And how can I put this spiritual experience
    In words understandable on the conscious level.

    Here let me try.

    I hear thousands of subtlety different sounds.
    There is the chattering of chipmunks and the raucous cry of a crow.
    I hear the sigh of the wind as it breathes softly in and out, in and out,
    Through the needles of the surrounding pines.

    And the waters of the stream have so many sounds.

    There is the loud rushing sound as it drops
    As a noisy waterfall over a six to eight foot rock ledge.
    And there is the silver tinkling sound
    As it drips from a moss green log to the stream below.

    There is the ever so soft sound
    Of bubbles rising to the surface of still back waters and beaver ponds
    And with a hiccup “popping” as they reach the surface.

    And the smells! Where do I begin?
    Of course there is the fresh and ever present scent of pine,
    But that is just the beginning.
    There is the smell of fresh clean water constantly running
    And ever renewing itself from underground springs and from melting snows.

    There is the smell of moss and of damp greenness,
    The smell of dark rich earth.
    And there is the smell of newly spring-born cottonwood and willow leaves.
    In my mind I can smell them now,
    But how do I put these smells into words here.

    And there is the smell of morning sunshine
    Filtering through the leaves and branches of bushes and trees.
    You see the smells all change and transform
    From the dark smells of night
    When the sun rises and warms them.

    And the sights, how glorious they are!
    First, a soft and warm golden hue appears over everything as the sun first rises.
    And in only minutes this changes to a steady and bright light
    That brings out distinctly in sharp contrast
    Long shadows of tall trees across open meadows.

    And I see red-winged black birds and metallic-blue blue-jays.
    And I see knee high meadow grass drenched in early morning dew
    With liquid silver drops glistening like diamonds
    On the tips of the bending blades.

    I see huge and lightening scarred pines—the monarchs of the forest,
    And I see small-needle soft pines
    Growing from the rotting logs of long ago toppled trees.

    As I stand on the edge of a beaver pond,
    I see a still and undisturbed dark and muddy stream bottom.
    I see jeweled dragon flies hovering and darting above the surface of the water.

    I watch the water shift and change colors and forms
    As it flows over and around submerged rocks and logs.
    I see small brook trout dart upstream
    From shadow of overhanging bank to shadow of submerged log.

    I reach my hand into the cold and clear waters of the stream
    And pick up a pew pebbles whose colors and shapes catch my eye.
    I like the feel of their smooth surfaces
    As I rub my thumb round and round in a circular pattern.

    As I cross the stream, I feel the bitingly cold stream water
    As it seeps through my sneakers as I hop from rock to rock.
    As I climb up the opposite bank,
    I grab hold of a rotting tree branch to pull myself up.
    I feel its moist and crumbling wood beneath my fingers.
    I feel my wet sneakers slip and slide on the slick mud.

    You see I love mountain streams.
    I love something that is calm and peaceful,
    But that is also constantly changing
    And is never the same from moment to moment.

    It is never the same water that I’m looking at.
    The trees, the plants, the rocks, the soil, the birds, the fishes, the forest animals—
    All are constantly changing.
    And all is peaceful and soul-healing and renewing.

    And all these things I have described
    Are part of something very intimate and personal
    That I like to call “the experiences of a mountain stream.”

    To me God is kind of like this mountain stream.
    I experience God personally,
    But when I try to describe this experience in words
    I have to descend from God’s presence
    To the thick and shadow world of words
    Often clumsily chosen and arranged.



     

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