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origins of disfunction

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by stampom, Dec 25, 2007.

  1. stampom

    stampom Member

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    Why do some people find it easy to cope with everyday life problems and, yet, when a major problem occures, they feel completely helpless? And why does this work the other way around, meaning people perfectly able to cope with huge life problems feel overwelmed when it comes to everyday issues like, lets say, an awful boss? Why intelligent people are usually less happy than "brainless" people? Why cann't I stop thinking while I' m meditating?
     
  2. goodoljoshua

    goodoljoshua Member

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    Hi stampom,

    More than likely it has to do with how their brains were hard-wired by nature when they were born combined with how this wiring and the environment they grew up in trained them to respond to stressors large or small. The later comprises what you might call their "world-view" or life philosophy as well, not just their automatic and unconscious reactions to situations. In the end, we are all completely unique individuals. How we perceive the world around us has more to do with what's inside than what's outside.

    Second, you don't have to stop thinking while you're meditating. As much as possible stay in the present moment (the Now). With practice you will become increasingly able to observe your thoughts as they float along and pass by rather than getting carried away by them into the past or the future. When you realize you have been caught up in a daydream, with lovingkindness towards yourself (no judgment) just let go and settle back into the moment - the Here and Now.

    Your breath is an excellent anchor to the present moment (the only place you really exist). Your senses can assist you in maintaining a link to the present (the Now) as well.

    Become the Observer. Repose in the Now.

    Joshua
     
  3. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    We're all different

    When I used to read about us all being totally unique I found this hard to understand because in some ways we are all basically the same. Trying to keep this simple:- I used to be a terrible worrier until I learned that 97% of what we worry about never happens. WHOA - WHAT A WASTE that was. Whenever anything challenging came to me I started to think, what is the worst outcome that can happen here? and if it does can I cope with it? When I deided I could, it was no longer a challenge or worry for me. Then I realized that when something happened, for instance a car broke down or some plans went wrong I could either accept the situation and deal with it or have the same situation and add a dose of worry (which only causes stress) to it as well. So many times when things happen in life that would have stressed me out I always think or say "In the affairs of life this is really insignificant." or "If I was on my death bed would this concern me?" Almost always it wouldn't so I simply let it go. I personally don't believe that intelligent people are usually less happy than "brainless" people. I think so many of all types of people constantly look for the next thing or event that will make them happy and this is sad. How long have you meditated for? If you are new to meditation you are possibly just becoming aware of all the thoughts that have always been there. If so this will quieten with practise. Happiness and joy to you and yours :) :) :)
     
  4. goodoljoshua

    goodoljoshua Member

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    Unique

    Yes the source of all life is the same, our patterns of behavior similar, and yet. . .
    there has never been, nor will there ever be another conciousness in the entire universe quite like me (or you). The conglomeration and unification of living cells and mysterious "energies" that exist and find purpose within what "I" call "Joshua" has never occured anywhere else in time, space, or anywhere else. The same is true of all life forms - even more true of "human life."

    That's all I meant by "unique."

    Love,
    Joshua
     
  5. lebourdonant

    lebourdonant Member

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    Different meditation tradition have different views over how to address the issue of the "monkey mind". (your mind jumping everywhere, to each new idea, new smell etc..). mostly it is recognized as "detrimental" to high level of practice, stillness allows for clarity to emerge.
    Stilling the mind is a training of its own (but can be combined..).. just some food for your rational - that is-; in terms of practice (how this is achieved), Joshua presented the method.
    just be patient, consistent, and bring yourself back when you find yourself wandering.

    *) You might also want to allow your body /organs to feel good, as any tension is noticed to the center of awareness. (Yoga/relaxation/six healing sounds/stretching)
    *) you might also choose your center of awareness to be located in your belly. (Hara/tan tien /second brain) ..rather than your head. (where your mind is the chi follows.)

    :eek:
     
  6. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Sadly, some people have been programmed in such a bad way that in fact they keep looking for the next thing or event that can make them sad, and they aren't "satisfied" until they find another reason to say: " See, I told you they are out to get me ".

    To some extent, I sometimes do that too :( however meditation has helped me to look at the brighter side of life :)
     
  7. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Edwin I think you're quite amazing - I've been watching your posts and I believe meditation is going to create unbelievable results in your life. Way to go man!! Happiness and joy to you and yours :) :) :)
     
  8. taylordayton

    taylordayton Member

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    I've noticed during people watching/studying that many 'disfucnctional' behaviors arise from an inate need to feel loved or accepted. Most often one who wants this does not love or accept themselves. These people, instead of seeking out ways to love and accept themselves as they are *right now* (as opposed to wishing to be 'better, stronger or faster'), instead attempt to derive it from external sources.

    Because external sources are temporary and limited they are never truly 'satisfied'. Once they learn to love themselves and give themselves that unconditional acceptance, they realize that this source, from within, is connected to the universe, which is limitless and endless.

    Loving and accepting oneself is a powerful step in bringing peace and tranquility to your life.
     
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Wow, it's a good thing you live in France, or you could see me blushing... I feel quite priviliged to be a member of this forum, and I hope to help out as many people as I can ! Of course I also hope to keep an open mind so others might help me too, there are some very interesting people here with quite different idea's/ ways of looking at life that might enlighten me with their inspirational words ! In fact Pollyanna, you are one of them !
     
  10. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi Joshua,
    just going through this thread I noticed how great your reply was to stampon. I sometimes am so passionate about what I am talking about I don't explain myself clearly enough!! I totally agree with you when you describe how we are all unique and it was quite a revelation to me when I understood why and how. I hope I didn't offend you - that was never my intention. I think you are a great assett to the community and am sure you will help many people. Happiness and joy to you :) :) :)
     
  11. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Thankyou Edwin for your kind words. I gracefully accept them. There was a time before meditation and the reading of some books when my confidence was so low that I didn't know how to accept a nice compliment. Life is so exciting now and I also feel priviliged to be a member of this forum. As individuals we may be strong - but as a team we are invincible!! Happiness and joy to you :):):)
     
  12. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    If you don't feel special after reading this, I don't know what will :) that is SPOT ON Joshua !
     

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