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need help to sleep please

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by bug, Jan 19, 2009.

  1. bug

    bug Member

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    I still have a lot to learn and discover about meditation but I'm hoping people might be able to help me fast-track to techniques that might be helpful to quiet my mind at bed time, to put me into a restful sleep and to help me feel safe and secure. I wonder if I should try listening to music or do a guided meditation as I'm trying to fall asleep.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2009
  2. Grey

    Grey Member

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    not meaning any offense but have you sought out professional help to deal with these issues? you describe operating in a rut of habitual behaviors. you can not control every circumstance but you can consciously unlearn negative ways of responding to them and replace them with more appropriate ones. trained therapists can guide you into learning healthy new responses. they can help pinpoint and identify behaviors that need improvement and save you much time figuring it out through trial and error on your own.
     
  3. bug

    bug Member

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    Hi Grey, thanks for your reply. I guess I am here and doing this because I am sceptical about therapy. Maybe if I can see my way clear to develop some faith I could explore that path. I completely respect your opinion.
     
  4. Grey

    Grey Member

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    i hope you reconsider. the sorts of issues you are facing are absolutely the kind that a good cognitive therapist successfully deals with. i do not always think therapy is the answer for everything either but for this particular kind of problem you really could get relief with proper guidance and probably fairly rapidly.
     
  5. Flavia

    Flavia Member

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    Dear Grey,

    With due respect to the doubts of Bug about psychotherapy... your answer is, as usual, elegant, firm and right to the point. I hope Bug listens to your suggestions; I'm sure he will get the necessary help - besides beginning LifeFlow ;)
     
  6. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Hi Bug
    Your previous, now edited post reminded me of an incident in my childhood...I must have been about 5 or 6 when an au pair girl who was helping my mother decided to scare me. I think she'd had enough of my bratty behaviour. I awoke to see a shadow in the hallway creeping along towards my bedroom door. It looked very scary - the arms were raised up, fingers extended like claws and it was crooning,
    "I'm going to get you...I'm going to get you."
    I was frozen with fright as you can well imagine. This thing finally reached my room and was looming in the door when it said,
    "Hahaha, I scared you didn't I!"
    I couldn't speak I was so frightened. The girl got scared and started to apologize, admonishing me not to tell.
    Of course I never forgot it. I think it's remarkable that I didn't develop a real phobia, but I was afraid of the dark after that.
    And writing this, I'm noticing that my heart is beating faster and my hands are clammy!

    Fear is natural when we have scary scenarios as children which only get reinforced over time. I find our reactions draw similar scenarios to us until we finally learn to overcome them (LOA). Sometimes it takes therapy, and there are so many kinds, but lots of people need some intervention to stop the adrenaline response. NLP can help if you can find a good practitioner and there are undoubtedly many other forms of therapy as well. Personally I see nothing wrong with getting help! I certainly have in different ways over my lifetime.

    The way I deal with fear now is through my faith in a higher Power. I do feel guided and protected and when I feel uncomfortable or at risk, I invoke that protection. In fact, whenever I ask for help I get it! I don't know if you have a belief system like that but if you don't feel that you can go to a therapist because of financial reasons, or whatever, you could simply ask the Universe to guide you to something that'll help you overcome the patterns that no longer serve your higher good. If you can turn over your problem in that way, help will come.

    Please know that I'm not trying to preach to you. I only want to extend a helping hand. :)

    I really hope you find what you need and will follow the path that calls to you. :)

    Bhavya

    Phew, that was a long post! :rolleyes:
     
  7. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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  8. bug

    bug Member

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    Hi Grey, Flavia, Bhavya and Edwin,

    I want to say a heartfelt thank you to all of you for giving consideration to the problems I posted about. On reflection I felt my original post contained too much detail particularly for someone so new to the forum. I feel I was asking a lot from people who don't even know me and who have their own lives and loved ones to think about.

    I am happy to report that over the last couple of days meditation seems to have brought a great calm to my mind. I am surprised to find that meditating each day is causing me to become much more self-aware throughout the day. I have been finding the answers to some of my problems coming easily once I become aware of the actions I am taking that lead me to the problems. I have been consciously replacing negative thoughts with kind, forgiving thoughts and this has relaxed me very much. I have also found the conscious application of deep breathing techniques has helped me deal calmly in situations that previously made me anxious and frantic.

    I have long been interested in the brain, the mind and consciousness - I have therefore read on these topics from time to time. A favourite book of mine is about cognitive therapy and evolutionary theory. I think the concepts behind cognitive therapy are elegant and logical and I really respect them. I also believe the brain and the mind are deeply complex systems only very vaguely understood by science. There is a deep scepticism engrained within me that makes it impossible, at this stage, for me to overcome my doubts and bridge the gap between the two and have faith. This said, even if I did develop that faith right now, I am not in a financial position to afford therapy.

    Bhavya, the following paragraph of yours does ring of truth to me:

    The way I deal with fear now is through my faith in a higher Power. I do feel guided and protected and when I feel uncomfortable or at risk, I invoke that protection. In fact, whenever I ask for help I get it! I don't know if you have a belief system like that but if you don't feel that you can go to a therapist because of financial reasons, or whatever, you could simply ask the Universe to guide you to something that'll help you overcome the patterns that no longer serve your higher good. If you can turn over your problem in that way, help will come.

    I think I am going in this direction with my meditation and reflections. I feel I have experienced a revelation where I have learned that I am a part of the universe - I am not more or less important than anything else but I am part of the fabric of the universe. It makes me feel more confident - less apologetic. I feel now that "it is because it is" and "I am because I am"... "whatever should be will be". So, I can afford to be at ease - there is no need to look over my shoulder all the time. Understanding this and mastering it are two different things I'm sure... but I do feel that in time I will feel safe and protected.

    Edwin - I have followed the link you gave. I downloaded the handbook and have had a brief look at it. There is a lot of information to take in so I will be looking more thoroughly over the coming days. Thank you.
     
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Ooh forgot to tell you about that, sorry.

    I skipped most of it and went straight for the tapping instructions :p
     
  10. jenniferalour

    jenniferalour Member

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    drink a lot of water

    Sometimes the reason why we
    cannot sleep is that our body
    is not compatible with its surrounding.

    Its too hot, too cold, etc.

    What you can do is, try to drink a lot
    of plain waters before you try to sleep.

    This will help you achieve equilibrium
    while sleeping. :)
     
  11. Grey

    Grey Member

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    drinking lots of water right before bed would just help me achieve a record number of trips to the bathroom.

    try drinking a glass of warm milk shortly before bed. warming the milk causes it to release its tryptophan and drinking it signals our body clock it is time to sleep.
     
  12. Sweet_Iza

    Sweet_Iza Member

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    Try a physical activity or exercise but too close to bedtime...little or light exercise..but if you want immediate sleep to calm your mind try Sex...study says that a satisfying sex could lull you into sleep...try it...:)
     
  13. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    LifeFlow

    Try listening to LF 10 while you lie in bed. I listen to LifeFLow every night with headphones on while I fall asleep.

    Gus
     
  14. seatrend8899

    seatrend8899 Member

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    LF at Bedtime

    Hi Gus,
    I am really glad to hear that one of our advanced LF people uses LF to fall asleep to as my wive and I have started to do over (dual SONY headphones with spitter cable on the USB stereo) the past month plus :).

    Since you have the choice to use previous levels that you have meditated to which one do you prefer to fall asleep to?

    And do you always set the volume so you can barely hear the soundscape?


    thanks big time in advance for feedback :)


    take care

    jim
     
  15. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    using LF while going to sleep

    Jim,
    I am not all the way through the LF course of CD's yet so I listen to the one I'm working on. Some may think this is not the thing to do; that I may become dependent on it as a sleeping aid. However, I've never had trouble sleeping in my life and if I'm not where I can listen to LF when I fall asleep I still fall asleep ASAP. The same goes for meditation. I don't have any trouble meditating without LF as some have said may happen. Somehow what LF does is the exact opposite of that. If anything it seems to help one become more independent of everything. Sky's the limit man!!!

    Even my attitude toward LF has changed.
    I used to want to keep changing and progressing through the levels. Now . . .I don't care if I ever get through them. Not sure what's up with that. I said a week ago that I was ready to move on to LF3 from 4; however, I'm still listening to 4. I have three, well I think I do, I haven't looked even. I know I've paid for it but I'm not sure I've down loaded it. I'll have to look.

    Oh . . .and I've always set the volume so I can barely hear it. I'm deaf anyway so that isn't hard.

    gus
     
  16. seatrend8899

    seatrend8899 Member

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    Hi Gus,
    Thanks for the assurance on the LF sleep dependence issue. In fact, last night I had set up the stereo for my wife (LF10) and helped her with her headphones before quickly leaving the room. My plan was to then switch the USB and listen to LF9 later as I went to bed. She told me this morning that there was no sound from her headphones (miscue on my part) but she just left them on and fell asleep right away anyway....:) No dependence there.....

    great feedback thanks Gus


    take care

    jim
     
  17. everett

    everett Member

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    higher power

    Hi Bhavya,
    the following paragraph of yours that i am interesting was to bug:

    The way I deal with fear now is through my faith in a higher Power. I do feel guided and protected and when I feel uncomfortable or at risk, I invoke that protection. In fact, whenever I ask for help I get it! I don't know if you have a belief system like that but if you don't feel that you can go to a therapist because of financial reasons, or whatever, you could simply ask the Universe to guide you to something that'll help you overcome the patterns that no longer serve your higher good. If you can turn over your problem in that way, help will come.

    What i want to know is how to built a higher Power and how to invoke it when i need it.
     
  18. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Hi Everett. Welcome to the group. :)

    If it's an emergency and you're having difficulties I would
    1. ask for help in the form you need it
    2. ask for protection and visualize that energy surrounding you and your family, your home, your workplace. You can see it as white light. Know that nothing but good can come through it. Let any negativity just bounce right off it.
    3. keep affirming that you are safe and being guided to the right place with the right people, or that the right solutions will come, or whatever the situation is.

    Working with a Higher Power is opening up to pure Love and pure Harmony. That Power is inside of us but also everywhere, in everyone and every thing. We cover it over with our thinking and suppose that our little mind with all of its fears and limitations is really us. We are usually so identified with that - the ego.

    Recognize that we are so much more than our thoughts.
    Affirm your intention to open up to that Power and ask for help in doing that. You can say a prayer everyday before you meditate...asking for divine guidance and strength to bring you into alignment with your essential being (again, another word for that Power). You can ask to be filled with love and compassion for all, and to be an instrument of Good throughout the day.

    Then meditate. No matter what method you use, mantra, breath, or Self Inquiry, it's all a way to be with the Light and Love of that Power.

    I believe that we're guided by beings as well. Some call them angels or Guides or Spiritual Teachers. The highest ones that I know of are those who have 'graduated', such as Jesus and Buddha. But there are many many more who help us. You don't have to believe in them however to call on your Higher Power. Just ask the universe for help and your request will find the level it needs.

    I think the more you work with this, the greater results you'll have. If you just call on your Higher Power when you're in trouble, it'll be harder than if you link every day. It's like any good relationship. The more time, effort, and sincerity you have, the richer the friendship will be. And that relationship will show you how beautiful and strong you yourself really are! :)

    Whew, sorry for the long post!
    Let me know if that's helpful at all, or what more specifically you need. I or someone else here will respond.

    Wishing you peace and fulfillment :)
    Bhavya
     
  19. everett

    everett Member

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    trying

    hi Bhavya:

    thanks for your detailed explanation on how to built higher power, and how to invoke it when i need it. on how to built rich relationship whit higher power, i have another question: Is form important when i pray? namely, is it necessary at a certain time praying? is it nedessary to obey some certain ceremony when i pray? is it important to take a both before praying? something like this. i respect all higher power in my heart, i believe they are real and i hope receiving guidance from them. but i ignored all form from begining.
     
  20. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Hi Everett
    I believe that forms can be helpful, but certainly aren't necessary. If you're attracted to specific prayers, then of course you should use them. What's most important is sincerity and openness. :)

    Having a special time to meditate and commune with your Higher Power encourages you to do it regularly. I usually meditate in the morning before breakfast, and later, before dinner if I can. Try experimenting and use what works best for you.
     

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