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Meeting the resistance

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by chris063, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi Joe,

    Thank you for your very helpful comments. Some other really useful suggestions about dealing with issues like this were posted on on another thread:

    http://www.project-meditation.org/c...gistration-introductions/1088-cant-focus.html

    I tried a few of the suggestions Keith and Gus offered, and found the 'Focusing' method helpful, this is very similar to some of the suggestions you have made. It involves focusing on the sensation and asking for words to describe what is behind the feeling, so it can then be released eventually. I do agree with what you and Coenrad are saying, I think many of us have a great deal of healing work to carry out on ourselves and we need to listen carefully to what our bodies and emotions are telling us.

    I wish you much peace and joy,

    Chris
     
  2. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    I'm meeting resistance at the moment, to the point where I think I'll have to lay off the meditation for a few days. Actually doing it is causing more problems than it's solving, as it's difficult to get certain thoughts out of my head - that those close to me don't want me to get better.:(

    If I look for the word to describe the feeling associated, I come up with "abandonment". Not something I really want to focus on.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 7, 2008
  3. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Hi Darin
    I can relate to what you're going through - abandonment has been one of my issues off and on too. The thing is, it's so easy to project our own insecurities on others and read into their behaviour things that support our own beliefs about ourselves. :(

    Just remember that you are worthy, and that no matter what happens to your relationships, your path is towards the light. If one relationship ends, (and yours may not! but if...) it makes room for others to come. You're beginning to heal and will, in your own time, dissolve all the knots that hold you back.

    I hope you take it easy and are able to be kind to yourself. :):)

    Bhavya
     
  4. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    I only wish it was my own insecurities being projected, Bhavya, but I fear it isn't.:( I thought I was making some progress but..... :(
     
  5. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    That's hard. I know because I went through it when my marriage ended. Looking back I see that we were both to blame and that ultimately it was what needed to happen. We're both better off now.

    That's probably cold comfort because you're in the midst of it and there's so much emotion around the uncertainties of a potential breakup. :( The good thing though is that you have plenty of support here, plus meditation as an aid for healing. And whatever happens, you're now on a path of self discovery.
     
  6. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    I have discovered some things: that whatever I try, I'm unworthy and undeserving, and inadequate as a human being, and that I'll never change. I'm No Longer Required. I know this because I'm being told this. Almost every day, and especially if I'm trying to make some real progress. However, it's not my wife that's at fault because she's loving and giving to everyone else. So it must be me. :(
     
  7. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi badtrooper

    People say a lot of things to each other, what they say depends a lot on their own state of mind at the time. Sometimes relating to the people closest to you can be the hardest to deal with because you have shared history and experiences, and this can make it difficult for everyone involved to see things objectively. The only person you can and should ever totally rely on is yourself, and it is your own opinion of who you are that counts. That is what is important. You cannot influence others to do something which they do not want to do or are unable to do, everyone has the right to make the choices they feel are best for themselves. The starting point for everything has to be your own desire to find inner peace and happiness, and only you are in a position to be able do something about that. Meditation, searching for and reading material which you are drawn to, and the support of people here will all help you.
     
  8. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Words - comforting sometimes, not so comforting at others. I suppose it's up to us as individuals to interpret them how we see them. Sometimes it's difficult to separate them away from our own emotions, or at least it is for me, and look at them objectively. However, they're not perfect translations of our thought processes and never can be (wouldn't that be a neat trick?), and sometimes what started out in English comes out as some sort of Huttese poodoo.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2008
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Ehm...

    I guess I missed something here ???
    Either you are referring to some other posts made somewhere in this forum or ???
     
  10. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Sorry Edwin - it was a direct reply to Chris063, to whom I'm related. It's not one of my better days.
     
  11. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I kind of figured as much...
    Are you sure a public forum is the place to discuss these kinds of things ?

    If you guys need help figuring stuff out... let me know, I will give you my email.
     
  12. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Won't happen again.:) I was trying to explain that my meditation's gone a bit out the window because even thinking about it is stopping me in my tracks.
     
  13. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Ouch. That's painful. Davin, I really hope that you will look for support, not only in this community, but face to face.

    And if it's too difficult to meditate at this point, you can still look to your Higher Power for help. I know when I turn things over , eg, " May Thy will be done ...help me through this crisis ...may the highest and best for all concerned take place..." that help comes. I know that sounds a bit churchey, and I'm surely not trying to preach, but I do believe that when we call for help from the Universal Good - whatever that is for you - healing comes. In the form that it can.

    I wish you well, with the strength to find your way through

    Bhavya
     
  14. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Just before I woke yesterday, I had another one of those peaceful, joyful moments - difficult to describe - like standing in a meadow on a warm, brilliantly sunny day, and I didn't feel alone either; there was a presence there with me. Unfortunately I woke very soon after and the day went vertically downhill after that. It wasn't as an intense sensation as I had a few days back and it wasn't there this morning. Interesting though.
     
  15. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    That's the Presence, reminding you who you are. All the other turmoil and thoughts of unworthiness, rejection etc are impermanent. Don't buy into what others say of you or your own negative thoughts! And remember that people say things to justify their choices. I know I've been guilty of that and wish I could take back some of the things I've said in the past. Words are so powerful and can hurt or heal.

    Please be kind to yourself and remember the golden moments are showing you Truth :)

    They're calling you to yourSelf :):):)
     
  16. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    I think that's very true.:) I wish I could take some back too.
     
  17. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Your a trooper, don't quit.....BUT WATCH THE FRIENDLY FIRE

    Hey Trooper........

    You have my e-mail address, I have enjoyed your expert take on Photography, you know your stuff, we have had some nice exchanges....your getting help and everyone here will dive in on the deep end for you, you know that.

    Enough now.....you have my e-mail address, a womans name can be harmed by simply say so, evidence is never needed.....we on the other hand get a medal for the same, where both better than that, we both know the difference between wrong and right, we both know what this is really about....mail me, but post conscientiously.....we where given a spine to stand tall, not stoop low brother......your explanation of apperature was a gift, I never understood camera lenses until 2 simple sentences from you sorted that all out, I am very grateful.

    Don't quit........it's ugly in the beginning........I KNOW.

    Don't quit, your made of better stuff than "the story"......you'll be fine if you want to be.........DON'T QUIT!
     
    Last edited: Dec 10, 2008
  18. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Coenrad - see the edit.

    Here's a photographic analogy: you can have the best camera in the world, and know about all the settings and gizmos, but if you end up taking pictures of your feet, you're missing the point. Shame I don't always follow that advice. :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 10, 2008
  19. P85

    P85 Member

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    breathing difficultly while meditating

    Hi there to all,im new here and i just wanted to share my experience with this.When i started meditation,after a few sessions i felt kind of a struggle in my breathing(i was focusing on my breathing),like it wasn't happening naturally.
    It was not before i put my attention on the inner body that it went away.
    It was like watching/feeling my body from a distance function (while my attention remained on the inner body).
    I hope someone finds this usefull.

    Peace and love
    P85
     
  20. badtrooper

    badtrooper Guest

    Anyhoo.... today I bought Taming The Black Dog by Patrick Ellverton, which has some useful tips on meditation and auto-suggestion. :)
     

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