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Meeting the resistance

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by chris063, Oct 31, 2008.

  1. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi, I've read several posts, and posted at least one myself, on difficulties encountered which seem to be making the act of meditation difficult and uncomfortable. I wanted to share my experience, 15 days into LifeFlow 10 (wow time has flown past!), in the hope that it might give some encouragement to anyone else who is wondering if they are 'doing it right'.

    I started meditating, not for the first time, with Michael's Discover Meditation course before starting with LifeFlow. To begin with all was well, I was happy using a mantra and felt quite peaceful after the first session. About 4 days in to using LifeFlow 10, I began to find my breathing was becoming increasingly uncomfortable and laboured, and repeating my mantra seemed to be making things worse. I also started to feel really irritable and incredibly fidgity and uncomfortable physically. So I dropped the mantra and tried 'following my breath' for a while, but found I was becoming so focussed on my breathing that it was becoming hard to even breathe during meditation. I was still feeling benefits after each session, feeling calm and peaceful, just not enjoying the actual meditation!

    The whole thing grew worse with each session, until my chest was feeling so tight and painful that my only thought was 'am I going to have a heart attack?!' But I was determined not to give up, because I believe very strongly that this is something that I need to do. I spent two sessions with my head tilted back, listening to LifeFlow but doing nothing else other than struggling to breathe - rather short sessions!!

    I was well aware by then, from advice offered by other posters (thanks again Keith and Gus!), and from reading Michael's posts and many others on the subject, that I was being faced with an aspect of my own resistance, and knew that I had to allow it to surface so I could allow it to ebb away, but the feeling was so overwhelming that I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to distance myself from it. But I remembered a technique I'd used to stay present before finding LifeFlow, which Eckhart Tolle had described in 'The Power of Now', which was simply to be aware of and feel as deeply as possible your own inner body or 'energy field'.

    Last night I did just that, listened to LifeFlow 10 and just sat in awareneness of my own inner energy field. Sure. my chest pain came again, my head decided to throb along with it too this time, but I was there, watching it, and feeling quite comfortable doing so. Not feeling that I was attached to the pain, but that I was just sitting at a distance, observing it. I stayed that way for around 35 minutes, it would have been the longest session I'd managed so far if my youngest son hadn't come in needing some attention!

    It was the most powerful session of meditation I have had so far, with a real feeling of clarity and simply observation of what came up.

    So please, if anyone is feeling really uncomfortable or struggling with meditation, all I would say is, try just sitting quietly in awareness of your own inner body and energy field while listening to LifeFlow. I found it to be a very powerful experience, and today my whole being feels lighter, somehow!
     
  2. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Postcard from the edge

    Hello Chris,

    Thank you so, so much for sharing this.

    As you know, I’m new to Project Meditation and LifeFlow, what I did before that doesn’t really count based on what I have learned here in such a short period of time.

    Last night, I wanted to quit, a gigantic depression came over me, it was just too- much for me to deal with, meditation seemed to be making things worse even though I know a fever must peak before it breaks, its hard to go through it, even harder to stick it out, what you have shared really helps.

    Thank you
     
  3. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hi Coenrad, you know strangely enough I was thinking about you when I posted that. Just a feeling I had when you didn't come back and post again yesterday. I've had my share of a mind which has tried to drive me insane with constant negative thoughts, spiralling me down into a great black hole of depression, coupled with manic highs when I though nothing could stop me. It's taken me a long, long time to iron out those terrific highs and desperate lows, and I'm concentrating on better things now. Changes still come slowly, but I know I have to be here now, and I know I have to do this because I know deep down that I want to be better, and that I can be better.

    Please don't give up, there are a lot of people here who understand how difficult things can be. There is always someone here who can help, and I will always try to if I think I can.
     
  4. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Here one is never alone

    Chris,

    The force is strong with you, your intuition was spot-on, yesterday was really rough, what you offer really helps…based on your dedication and commitment to bring about change in your life you help others like myself….when they speak of you in future, it may be as in the movie “Kung Fu Panda” -

    "It is said that his enemies would go blind from over-exposure to pure awesomeness!"........your friends also.

    Thank you
     
  5. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    The Return of the Jedi-Panda

    Hey thanks, I always saw myself as a type of Kung Fu Jedi-Panda ;) think maybe I'll keep that one in mind for the future re-modelling of myself :)

    Just read your reply to pollyanna; I am very glad to hear you are NOT quitting!!

    Understood everything you were saying there. I stood in a bookshop once reading a book written by a medium, there was a very sad story of a teenager who had committed suicide, reportedly saying that he wished he hadn't because at least back in our world everything was familiar. Whatever you believe, thinking that ending it here doesn't actually end it is a powerful thing to wipe suicide out as a means of escape. So as you say, we are left with sinking further, keeping the status quo, or looking for a way to move forwards. I know what I have chosen, and if my intuition is anywhere near the mark I really think that perhaps deep down you know that you have too?
     
  6. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Where there is life, there is hope.

    Hi Chris,

    Who knows, what was written helped me deal with suicidal tendancies in my teens, teens today arent much different, lets hope it helps someone bypass that common and ultimately destructive delusion, it solves nothing, who wants to do it all again......or even entertain the possibility that you will have to, you've come this far.......

    Rocky Balboa didnt sit in meditation but in Rocky 5, the character makes a very profound statement in the language of the common man that cuts to the chase:

    "…I don’t care how tough you are, It’ll (life) beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward, how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winnin’ is done.

    Now if you know what you’re worth, go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits and not point fingers saying you ain’t where you want to be because him or her or anybody…"


    Seems banging your head or having it banged by your opponnents may be another path to enlightenment.....powerful words, because its true...quittings not an option.


    "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called the present." - Master Oogway - Kung Fu Panda
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2008
  7. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    No, I don't believe that quitting is an option either, or for that matter that anything else is other than looking to grow, once you've acknowledged that there might just be more to discover about life than what you currently experience in the present. Even more so when the present doesn't feel like a great place to be for whatever reason.

    Hang in there, you're doing ok and you are among friends here. I'm not finding the meditation a breeze right now, but I know it is doing me good and so I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride...albeit from a distance!
     
  8. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Greetings

    Hi Chris & Coenrad,
    Just wanted let you know that I'm present with you both this morning reading the exchange you're having. Thank you for allowing me to see a bit of your inner world. I consider you both friends. Your willingness to dialogue with such openness is assisting me in relaxing out "allowing" whatever to come into my awareness to simply be. "Accepting" and "allowing" what is always preceds "letting go" and "releasing." THANK YOU for the positive difference your presense here is making in my life.

    And Coenrad, I love your writing style and your quotes from movies. Do you have these all memorized so that they just come to mind as you're writing? You have such a refreshing sense of humor. Take care, my friends. --Keith :)
     
  9. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Leave no stone unturned, leave no-one behind

    Some people may look at some of what is written and wonder – “How is this a success story?”, they miss one crucial point as you have stated in a reply in “my” thread…..I’m situated near the Southern most point of Africa, Chris is in the South East of the United Kingdom, your in the North West of the United States, where not just talking…..where really communicating and further more we support, guide, amuse and teach one another, Keith you’re an American, Chris is British, I’m South African, that’s 2 levels of labels already, but when you get right down to it…WE SHARE THE SAME DNA….where all human, that’s why I referred to you as “cousin” in my first contact with you.

    “humanity is faced with a stark choice: Evolve or die.” – A New Earth - Eckhart Tolle

    I am so tired of what passes for friendship and communication now-days, almost everybody hears but so few actually listen. If it’s about evolve or die, then we are in this together, we have a common “enemy”, our own unconsciousness and the collective unconsciousness that drags us from one inner or military conflict to another in a world where governments spend more money on arming themselves than caring for their most vulnerable citizens. Here I have spent nothing – Michael taught me for free – here I am being trained once again to use a weapon – best left to Dan Millman’s character Socrates from “Way of the Peaceful warrior” to explain….

    “You haven't yet opened your heart fully, to life, to each moment. The peaceful warrior's way is not about invulnerability, but absolute vulnerability--to the world, to life, and to the Presence you felt. All along I've shown you by example that a warrior's life is not about imagined perfection or victory; it is about love. Love is a warrior's sword; wherever it cuts, it gives life, not death.”

    We follow the way of the peaceful warrior one way or another here, each at our own pace, each from our own social, religious or political entry point and perspective….when a warrior stumbles and falls, his comrades lift him to his feet, carry him / her if they must…but Keith, Chris…….WE NEVER LEAVE OUR OWN BEHIND....and that includes everybody....Chris was online sensing an issue on my side, he was spot on....dusting myself off!

    Quotes from movies.....if something touches me, I remember the movie, then google the exact words...thanks Keith, new to "writing" but it does serve as a means of release and a source of wisdom from those who reply.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2008
  10. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Keith, bless you for just being there this morning! I have to say I was slightly shaken by the blast from the past of emotions this brought up in me earlier. Things I thought were well past, obviously not forgotton though.

    Coenrad, I'm not really sure what happened but I thought I sensed something, perhaps because I recognised some things you were speaking of in your long and wonderful posts. Phrases and a way of portraying things which were familier. I think maybe my subconcious prodded me to wonder if you might run into difficulties with the meditation because I knew I wasn't having an easy time of it! Who knows. And I could have been way off the mark.

    I think I will have to read 'Way of the Peaceful Warrior'. :)

    By the way... I'm a she :) Normally mistaken for a he via email etc, must be my style :eek: Maybe it's because I have two boys and have only got to play with clone troopers and droids and bionicles for several years now, they won't let me have a barbie ;)

    Anyway hopefully we are all in one piece and ready for the next few fun challenges life is going to bring, not sure that we can keep everyone on track but hopefully there won't be too many casualties from those who doing their best to find their own right path to follow. :)

    Peace and joy to you all.
     
  11. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    She, He, non of the above......your all heart, what matters

    Chris,

    Your intuition is understandable then, ever consider the following in your dark moments: Down here and most places the healers, mystics and nurturers of the “tribe” are female, some call them witch doctors, known here as Sangoma’s….In your dark days do you ever consider that If what ever the source is, its infinite, all powerful, everywhere, the “creator” , it creates life, form, as a Female of the species, that makes you the channel through which it creates human life, then nurtured?

    YOU where chosen for it to work through, you are closer to “IT” than I as a male will ever be.

    You picked me up where I landed face down, I went down hard , you where there when I needed you….I’m grateful to you and for the intuition that flows so strong through you…the force is with you….as your now elevated to Jedi-Kung Fu Panda status, I will be carefull not to make that mistake again…as they say in Kung Fu movies, you have 10 fingers, 10 toes….20 ways for me to die!:D
     
    Last edited: Oct 31, 2008
  12. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Way of the Peacefull Warrior - what got me here

    Hi Chris,

    The book is written by Dan Millman and is loosely based on true life events, there is a movie version also that will be bearable for the boy's to sit through, maybe pop down to your local DVD rental shop and give it a bash, IT's a really good story and strongly emphasises meditation as a theme amoungst others.......stars Scott Mechlowicz and Nick Nolte - HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. At a time I had given up, this movie woke something in me that ended in my being here to learn from Michael, you and anyone else...

    It's Autumn your side so its probably not great weather, why not rent this one and give yourself an educational pickup this week-end?
     
  13. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I have been dying for an opportunity to drop this quote to you and I don't know why Coenrad:

    Its from Mister Magorium's Wonder Emporium.

    They are just done tuning every clock in a clockstore to go off at exactly the same time:

    Mr. Edward Magorium: 37 seconds.
    Molly Mahoney: Great. Well done. Now we wait.
    Mr. Edward Magorium: No. We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate. Our hearts beat. Our minds create. Our souls ingest. 37 seconds, well used, is a lifetime.

    I don't know why, but it seems significant to tell you this one
     
  14. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    Hello!

    Hi Coenrad, thank you for your very kind words. If I was able to help you pick yourself up then I am very happy, but it was you who picked yourself up, not me.

    My sons would be in fits if they knew I have now reached the dizzy heights of honorary Jedi-Kung Fu Panda. Have no fear you will not die by my fingers or toes, although I would like to know what exactly the great and most powerful 'Wuxi finger hold' is?!!! Speaking of which, that must be out on DVD soon, must have a look today :D

    Yes I had read about female energy being 'nearer' to the Source than male energy, but I understood that it meant it could be easier for females to access the Source, not that it was impossible for the males of the species to reach it. So no reason to think you won't! But that confuses me anyway, because I had also read that we can be reincarnated as male or female, so how does that work?!! Are we always one or can we be either, in which case it's pot luck as to which you are right now? I try not to think about it all too much, I used to and went round in circles until my head hurt! So many things which seem contradictory. So I guess I am just making the most of being female right now. I tend to feel things very strongly, but that also brings its own problems. Challenges I mean, not problems!! :)

    Thank you for the film recommendation, I will hunt out the book and see if I can get hold of the film. You are right, British autumn and the weather here in the south at least is typically damp and grey today! I think you have the complete opposite and it is your summer time?
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2008
  15. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Over exposure to pure awesomeness.......need my shades

    Hey Chris,

    Just a quick note to tell you that the inner energy awareness exercise you recommended from Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now whilst listening to LifeFlow works like a charm.

    I have had variable success at this early phase of meditation, having to pass through my own consciousness on my way down to silence and ultimately,contact with pure conscious. IT SUCKED :eek:, but needed doing, got some stuff that needs come to the surface and be dealt with, couldnt keep supressing everything and expect to get away with it....meditation has helped me realise that, bit dramatic for my liking but what doesnt kill you can make you stronger if you'll let it, I guess.

    I have obviously been rattled by being demoted to freight train road kill, but have been able to get back on track with fully fledged mantra and LifeFlow meditation by putting my toe back into the water using what you put forward.

    Wheather down here....4 seasons in one day, spring here means anything from gales, to rain to perfect blue skies and glorious heat....right now, pass the bangers and mash treacle, it's good 'ol English rain...:p

    Cant thank you enough for sharing your experience
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2008
  16. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    The force is strong with this one...

    What is this, Jedi Central :eek:......good one Edwin....you two are getting scary..:D

    Working my way back into it
     
  17. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    May the Force be with you..!

    Hi Coenrad, I am delighted to hear that it worked for you also and you are back on track. The Force is indeed strong here.. :)
     
  18. joejordan65

    joejordan65 Member

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    Hello Chris,

    I too have noticed pains in my chest while meditating.

    They are present in the area of the heart and navel chakra points.

    I know that these particular pains are the original "damage" stored in my body from some terrible losses and abuses from my past.

    I am learning to "breathe healing" into these areas during my meditation practice.

    I also try to rub the areas in a circular motion to help heal, release and get as closely in touch with the pain as possible.

    I have been finding that this practice along with asking the healing white light of God to penetrate me to the cellular level is slowly helping to heal these old injuries.

    I also try to generate as much love and compassion for myself as I can muster and then send it inside, to heal the broken child within.

    I hope that these ideas may help you to feel better too!

    Take Care,

    Joe Jordan
     
  19. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Cracks in the sidewalk

    Hi Joe,

    Thanks for that, strange, Chris has spoken to me about this, I have started working with Louise Hay material...need realise that weeds grow from cracks in the sidewalk, leave them as they are, new weeds will replace them in those exact spots (weakness's)...much healing to be done, less cracks in the sidewalk = less issues to take hold.

    I like what you have written and take the auspicious timing as it being a message I need re-enforced....so cool.

    Thank you very much Joe
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2008
  20. joejordan65

    joejordan65 Member

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    Hello Coenrad,

    It's been my pleasure to read your very insightful posts.

    It's also my honor to share any information that I may provide to you.

    The road of suffering can be a long lonely road.

    I believe that it's individuals like yourself and the others on this forum, who will help to bring an eventual end to needless human suffering.

    Take Care,

    Joe Jordan
     

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