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Loose Screws & Slack Ropes

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by Andrew, Jan 10, 2008.

  1. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    I've had something bothering me for a long time.

    See, I was a smart kid, by my parents' reckoning as well as just about any adult I encountered. I've always been a good problem solver, and use both sides of my brain pretty equally. And when there's something I truly want, distractions tend to take a figurative day off. So intelligence isn't the issue, nor is my ability to focus.

    Yet since I was young I've felt somewhat disconnected from my immediate surroundings. I feel like I walk through life in a haze, or like my mind is constantly floating just above true, tangible reality.

    The day-to-day manifestation of this is that I often do genuinely have my head in the clouds, I frequently miss details I should have caught, and I tend to be absent minded.

    I suppose the best way to say this is that I feel ungrounded, or that I'm watching myself live life from a distance. I can focus on abstractions and ideas, but the world around me seems to avoid any closer scrutiny. So round and about: what in the world is going on inside my head, and how do I fix it? :confused:

    Feel free to ask me any clarifying questions; I'm an open guy.

    Thanks,
    Andrew
     
  2. Raven

    Raven Member

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    This might help

    Andrew,

    Some of what you describe reminds me a little of Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm not suggesting that's what afflicts you, but there are some similarities. For that reason you might be interested to learn that people who suffer from ADD benefit greatly from using entrainment programs that target the Beta frequencies; Hz frequencies above 14Hz. These higher frequencies seem to help them improve overall focus, be more involved and aware of what is going on around them, and be less "absent minded", as you phrased it.

    I know some people with ADD who practice meditation and they have found that listening to Beta entrainment waves for 10 or 15 minutes prior to meditation helps them have more productive meditation sessions. You might want to consider getting a little bit of Beta exposure, if not right before your meditation then maybe just sometime during your day. You may find it helps you.

    ~R~
     
  3. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I don't really have an answer, and Raven does so I will leave that part to him ;) but I do want to say that I can relate to what you said:

    I too have had this feeling, quite strongly I might add.
    It's like you are dreaming your every day life, and it makes you feel that you are not " giving it everything it takes " right ?


    Like I said, I can't help you with it, I just wanted to say you are not alone in this feeling, and that might be nice to hear too :)
     
  4. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    Hehe, good to hear I'm not alone, Edwin. =) That's pretty much exactly how I feel.

    Raven, I actually have been formally diagnosed with ADD...as well as OCD, Tactile/Sensory Defensiveness and Tourette's. Gee, don't I have fun? ;3

    Thanks for the advice. I'll give the beta entrainment a shot.
     
  5. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    That's a lot of diagnoses to have to fit into one person...

    Only thing I have some knowledge of is Tourette, due to a book I read that made me want to understand the lead character.
    Most people only know about the worst kind, the uncontrollable sudden outburst of profanities, but in milder forms most people won't even notice it, or only a little when someone has a somewhat complicated "tic"

    I hope this alternative route to healing will have it's effect for you !
     
  6. goodoljoshua

    goodoljoshua Member

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    Hi Andrew,

    So I was taking a shower this evening and your post came to mind and the first thought that occured to me was "Isn't conciousness all relative?"

    What IS the "normal" way to perceive of our own existence? And, is normal the only "healthy" form? Isn't it difficult to describe what we experience as "conciousness?" At best we have to use allegory, metaphor, similies, etc. We can never really experience what others experience as conciousness. We can never really see the world through someone else's eyes or walk in their shoes. Beyond what professionals tell us about what "normal" is, how do we know? And is it really that important?

    What's important is whether the way you are wired causes harm to yourself or to others. If it does . . . well I think most of us are in that boat to one extent or another. So we pursue the work of self-improvement in those areas.

    Perhaps I'm missing the mark completely here but maybe self-acceptance is worth considering. Acceptance of the self, as it is, AS IS. It's a rare and beautiful thing to be alive. Our bodies are immensely complicated "machines." It's a wonder they work at all. Our minds are infinitely more complex and even less understood by "the professionals." It's awe inspiring that your brain works.

    And somewhere in all of this is a conciousness - an awareness of yourself, your life, your body, your mind, your spirit, your world, and everything in it. There is an "OBSERVER" you that resides and reposes over and above all of this and it is the real you. Where is it? Where does it come from? From where or from what does is gain it's existence? The deeper you investigate the nature of the conciousness the more it sounds like a conversation about God.

    And herein lies my main point. Perhaps you are LIFE FORCE, GOD, or whatever you want to call IT. The rest is probably not so important (unless you want it to be).

    Love,
    Joshua
     
  7. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    Thanks for your thoughts, Joshua. =)

    You're right--there's no real way to say whether the way I experience the world around me is "right" or "wrong." At the same time though, whether or not it's right, wrong, harmful or harmless, I do desire a greater ability to focus on the moment. I desire my experience of reality to feel more real. If not to "fix me," then simply for my own benefit and enjoyment.

    Hey, by the way Raven, do you know anywhere I can get some good Beta entrainment tools/media/whatever? Thanks.
     
  8. Michael Mackenzie

    Michael Mackenzie Owner

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    Beta Track

    Hey Andrew,

    I have another track by the designer of the LifeFlow series that is in development and approaching the testing phase, and I would like to make it available to you free of charge for testing purposes provided you are willing to share any successful results you get with the community?

    Please let me know if this is something you are interested in?

    Michael :)
     
  9. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    You kidding? I'm in!
     
  10. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I agree that it is impossible to set boundries, and make rules on how to be regarded as normal.

    Still, we all have a basic idea of what is regarded as normal, because we want to "fit in" with whatever group we choose. There always is a collective tolerance level within that group. As long as we all agree on what is normal, we accept it that way. We are social by nature :) This can go both ways, so it is our job to make sure it goes the right way :D

    Andrew, you seem quite normal to me :cool:
     
  11. Raven

    Raven Member

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    Beta wave tracks

    Hi, Andrew, sorry for the delayed response. It sounds as if Michael has you covered on the Beta wave track. The design of the LifeFlow tracks is so much more effective than others that I've tried that I really don't have any recommendation to give you that would trump Michael's.

    Hope it works well for you!

    ~R~
     
  12. Michael Mackenzie

    Michael Mackenzie Owner

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    Beta track

    Hi Andrew,

    I will let you know when the track is ready for testing.

    It should be ready very soon. Michael :)
     
  13. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    Great! Thanks!
    Can't wait =)
     
  14. Michael Mackenzie

    Michael Mackenzie Owner

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    I have just emailed the tracks

    Andrew,

    I have just sent you a link containing two BETA tracks with instructions.

    Please post your results in this thread for other members to see.

    Michael :)
     
  15. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    BetaFlow Log

    Captain's Log
    Stardate: Friday

    My logs are going to be pretty clinical. Sorry if it's dreadfully boring to read but I don't feel like writing an essay every time I meditate. :p So without further ado:

    1.18.08
    Betaflow
    20 Hz
    Headphones
    12:42 - 12:52 AM
    Sitting upright on bed; relaxed non-meditative awake
    Unoccupied (read: sitting there daydreaming)
    Low light
    Low volume (3% of system's max)

    Pre-Meditation Results:
    Mentally more focused; could see own aura much more clearly; muscles slightly shaky; whole body slightly tense; jaw muscles very tense (impulse to clench jaw heightened)

    Meditation
    2:11 - 2:21 AM
    Mantra: soh-ohm
    No LifeFlow
    Lost mantra a few times; mind very active, briefly wandered to certain thoughts which caused jealousy/anxiety, got butterflies but less so than in recent meditation sessions; anxious for session to end, 'mentally jittery' but less so than in recent sessions; mind calmed in last minute or two of session; slightly short of breath throughout session in spite of being physically inactive for at least an hour before beginning meditation, consistent with recent past meditations (I'll try a diaphragm stretch beforehand next time to see what happens).

    Post-Meditation Results:
    Mentally & physically calmer than during session; aura still clearly visible; feeling slightly more optimistic/energetic than before meditation yet peaceful & ready for bed.
     
  16. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    1.19.08
    BetaFlow
    20 Hz
    Headphones
    5:09 - 5:24 PM
    Sitting upright on bed; relaxed non-meditative awake
    Unoccupied
    Medium lighting (late afternoon sunlight from window)
    low volume (3%)

    Pre-Meditation Results:
    Almost identical to first time, but not as strong.

    Meditation
    5:35 - 5:45
    No LifeFlow
    Decided to try meditating in full lotus; had to revert to something more comfortable about seven or eight minutes in. Mind was very active again; lost mantra for what felt like relatively long gaps; less anxiety than usual but still faintly there. Still slightly short of breath...forgot diafragm stretch. Oh well; there's always next time.

    Post-Meditation Results:
    Not calm, but not distracted either; feel energized, positive and eager to have a great Saturday evening!
     
  17. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    Well, after a little sloth-inspired thought I've realized that short-term effects aren't what we're really aiming at measuring, so from now on I'll only report short-term effects when they seem pretty significant, and I'll be posting my habits and the general effects on my mood, temper, etc. when appropriate; once a week at the very least.

    With that said, I do have something to report. I've had Michael's course for quite a while, but sad to say I didn't start making it a daily habit until a couple of weeks ago. I'm normally a fun-loving, energetic, positive person with a mile-long fuse, but in the past few days I've been significantly more stressed out...not to a point I can't deal with, but enough that things that used to irk me and now don't, suddenly do again.

    I've also been dealing with a fair bit of anxiety in the past few weeks. Not from any one set of worries that I'm aware of, but several times a day I'll get a really intense sensation of "butterflies" in my stomache. This has waxed and waned on and off for the past couple of years, but right now it's really intense; it's at a point where it no longer feels centered in my stomach and is really closer to the heart chakra. My heart rate also elevates...it almost feels like a surge of adrenaline. I clocked my pulse at 120 bpm this morning as it was happening, which is well within the aerobic range, but I had been sitting in a chair for at least a half hour. What concerns me is that I'm starting to not only feel tension around my heart chakra but a slightly more focused pain, though mild, inside my chest right where my physical heart lies.

    I understand that a brief getting-worse period often precedes the getting-better effects, so I'm going to go ahead and keep meditating regularly. Hopefully I'll get back to my normal self soon. Any comments and/or questions are welcomed though. Always nice to get the opinion of those wiser than I. :)
     
  18. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I am pretty sure some of the above things can be blamed on stress, and maybe also your meditation is improving and thus this could affect your feelings a bit too....

    Just a few questions about your physical condition:

    -What is your age ?
    -Do you exercise ?
    -If yes, for how long and how oftan ?
    -What kind of job do you have ?
    -Does it involve working late ?
    -How much hours do you generally sleep every night ?

    I started to have these chestpains too about half a year ago, and the doctor gave me these same questions. If your answers are the same to those I gave, it can't be a heart condition.

    No matter my opinion, I suggest visiting a doctor for a real medical opinion if you are not sure. I am a locksmith by profession, not a heart surgeon ;)

    I very much enjoy reading your progress with the experimental entrainment product, so please keep it up ( every week I mean of course )
    :)
     
  19. Andrew

    Andrew Member

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    Edwin, thanks for the input. To answer your questions I'm 19, I do excercise but not in a traditional way (I'll stop what I'm doing and do ten or fifteen pushups or situps several times a day...it's not intense but it gets the job done anyway). Currently I'm jobless, though I've been doing a little freelance web design, and I'm going to start working for the YMCA as an after school daycare counselor soon. Also, I usually get a good seven or eight hours of sleep every night, though it's often very random: 2 AM to 10 AM, 3 to 11, etc. I should probably note that I only got four to six hours of sleep Friday and Saturday nights.
     
  20. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Ok I am not going to bug you about irregular sleeping hours and stuff, think of it as a prelude of getting kids ;) I am 33 now so I know what it's like to be 19.

    I think it would be wise to find a gym nearby, and see if anyone does free healthchecks for new members or anything. You could also just simply try jogging. If you can keep up your exercise without straining for more than 10 minutes, your heart is probably in good condition.
    Stress however, the killer and probably the reason so many people get sick nowadays, can also give people a sore chest, or even what can be described like a tight belt around your chest.

    If you recognise this feeling, visit the doctor for that second opinion, and try stress reducing meditation as well as work on your lifestyle. And try to tone down a bit on alcohol if you are into that when going out ;)

    I hope you don't think I am judging you, I just have a good memory :) and I am trying to help. Hope you don't feel me pushing my help down your throat, and if so, don't read this and happily forget about it :rolleyes:
     

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