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Letting go...

Discussion in 'Having Problems?' started by Panthau, Jan 23, 2009.

  1. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi,

    I just cant. I never could, and it always drove me crazy.

    If something is kind of important to me in my life, i just cant let it go.
    I think about it the whole day, and i get so cramped that i get depressions.

    The same happens now to me while im using Lifeflow (and other binaural products). Im so cramped in the evening while thinking the whole day how this could have an effect on my life, that i cant enjoy the sounds.

    Of course this has nothing to do with Lifeflow itself, but i didnt found
    a method yet how to get rid of this. Maybe it has something to do beeing sexual abused for 10 years, or having no feeling of safeness in my childhood? But i never lost something or someone important in my life. I dont see or understand the whole picture :-|

    Maybe someone has a clue.

    Regards
    Pan
     
  2. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    "Some Thoughts"

    Panthau,
    I just wanted to let you know I have read your post on "letting go" this morning, and at this moment my thoughts are with you. I realize my initial comments aren't directly related to your question. Still, this is what I "feel" to say. The sincerity of your words and your vulnerability touch my heart. I am so sorry that you suffered sexual abuse for ten years and that you often felt unsafe in your childhood. I noticed that you kind of just casually dropped this fact. I imagine that these traumatic experiences have had a deep impact on your life. Perhaps they are catalysts that have been instrumental in developing your compassion and empathy towards others. I sense that they may have also brought you to this time of sincere spiritual seeking. The challenges and trials we all experience in life remind me of these words of the great teacher Jesus:

    Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. (Luke 17:1-2)

    The following saying seems so accurate to the human experience:

    ["It is never easy for any of us to look closely at ourselves—the ancient aphorism of 'physician, heal thyself' not withstanding. Most of us do so only when forced by crisis, anxiety, or a blunt confrontation with reality. Some of us have spouses or friends who help us look at the sore spots within, the personal rough spots which cause us and others pain. But for most of us, it is far easier to look outside, to look at others, whether to admire or to find fault, whether to seek guidance or to castigate." (Roy Menninger, M.D.)

    As I understand it, these "offenses" that we experience as we sojourn through life often can serve as the very catalyst that causes us to begin the journey to "see with new eyes" and "hear with new ears." However, "woe unto him, through whom they come!"

    Next, the picture of your "avatar" you use for your name here of "Panthau," touches me deeply. It brings to mind and combines two scriptures for me.

    "Be still, and know that I am God:" (Psalm 46:10a)

    "At the same time came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." (Matthew 18:1-5)

    I sense that you are really intuitive. I'm just curious. I hope you don't mind me asking, but what is the significance of your chosen name here of "Panthau"?

    As to your wondering about why it is so difficult for you to "let go" of certain things, I believe in you and your ability to find an answer to this question that works best for you. I am reminded of the following saying:

    Be a Safe Place

    “To sit and listen while someone talks and allow that person to be with her feelings and experience her emotions without comment, and to create a safe space for that person to find her way through whatever passage she is making is an act of service.”

    (As found in Caroline Myss’ book Invisible Acts of Power, p. 186)

    From the picture you chose for your avatar, I sense that there is a deep knowingness you are in touch with. There is a "part of you" or "something in you" that fears you "letting go." Perhaps this "some thing" fears it will be abandoned. Perhaps, you could simply sit with—be present for—this part of you that fears you letting go. Listen with not only your mind, but with your heart too. Don't judge or condemn this part of you that fears letting go. Perhaps, you might ask:

    "How would you like for me to be with you at this moment?"

    And, you might want to reassure this "some thing" that doesn't want you to let go that:

    "You can stay the way you are as long as you need to be this way."

    Perhaps this "some thing" is just trying to protect you from hurt in the best way it knows how.

    I hope this kind of helps and makes sense. What I was showing you are some of the aspects of a process called focusing. If you are interested in learning more, here is the website: The Focusing Institute

    Please know your postings here have touched my heart. I wish you peace and happiness this day. --Keith :)
     
  3. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi Keith,

    Wow, what a deep reply to my flat question.
    You´re so right, with everything you said. Do we all react the same
    way about our childhood or can u just read my mind? ;-)

    As i wrote my post, i thought it wouldnt be a good idea to write
    about my sexual abuse and those things, because how should someone
    give a useful reply to, not knowing me, just by the fact that it happend?
    It seems like you could *gg*

    Im very empathic and i thought about it. Maybe it developed due to the fact that i first learned to satisfy the needs of other. I never fulfilled my own needs, in fact im just about to learn what those are.
    As a result of this empathy, i never blamed anyone for what happend, cause i always knew that everyone does just what he can best and how he learned it itself. But that didnt made it easier for me.

    Its crazy, but thats another fact thats droving me always wild. I always "knew" whats going on in my life and how it would feel without all that garbage...but only in my mind. I couldnt implement it emotional!

    Your tips are really somewhat, and i used them already in my meditation.

    My avatar is just a google picture, but i really love it. It has such a deep meaning to me.
    And my nick, Pan Thau...theres a spaceship called "Pan Thau Ra" in one of the Perry Rhodan novels. I just liked the name :)

    Thank you so much for your reply, its really helpful to me. And sorry if my english is sometimes weird. :)

    Atb,
    Pan
     
  4. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Its a few days ago...i layd down on the couch, depressed as most of the times, and thought im gonna try going into that feeling.

    I felt some strange feelings of freedom from my childhood...then the problem with letting go came to my mind and it was really emotional. I think something released that moment.

    Everday im listening to Lifeflow, somethings working within me. I feel some strange vibrations and tickling all over my body after listening to it. Im so glad something happens, even if its worse at first...its better than stagnancy.

    Pan
     
  5. `Tired`

    `Tired` Member

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    Something that has helped me get beyond my racing mind and trauma is to go to the day before my emotional trauma happened in my mind's eye and recollect exactly how I felt that day (which was normal healthy young child). Once I have that feeling and memory I hang onto it as long as possible. With practice I have been able to make it last longer and longer.

    After I achieve what it felt like as a child to be safe, happy, unconcerned, etc I try to visualize who I would be right now in this moment if I had of had the secure feelings I had before the trauma instead of the chaos that came about afterwards.
    It sounds rather strange I know but I can become relaxed like this lot of the times. It is sort of like Pavlov and his conditioning after you become good at it. I made a mantra which I use quite a bit, "It's over" that I have associated with the feeling I have when I get to this good place. Repeated use of my mantra plus asst'ing it with the good feeling gives my mantra power to move me to feel relief.

    Might give it a try if I explained it well enough. Lots of people use the technique, it's been around for ages and I can testify it works.

    Good luck and God Bless.
     
  6. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi there,

    Sounds interesting, maybe im gonna give it a try. Its sure not gonna be easy to
    remember such a feeling and visualize it, but with enuff energy maybe possible.

    I´d prefer releasing all those things which bother me, so that such feelings like inner freedom come as a part of that. But if it doesnt work that way, ill try your way for sure :)

    Pan
     
  7. `Tired`

    `Tired` Member

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    I understand. I use this for emergencies when I become overwhelmed from PTSD flashbacks but it works well for releasing very quickly as well...sometimes it is hard (if not impossible) to get "peace" to kick on automatically, so if the pain is bad enough I will go as far as it takes to relieve it and get a break after 40 years of mental anguish. Just trying to help is all.

    GL
     
  8. zeriva

    zeriva Member

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    Hi Panthau

    I am sorry about your problem with let it go, maybe I can help you, I am a Psychologist
    and in my practice I use with my client EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, it's a wonderful easy to use method, it is free , you need only few minutes to learn how to use it.
    Nothing work like this, after 15 years of practice with psychology, Reiki, and hypnotherapy I nearly use only EFT, It is helping people to achieve miracles.
    It is a wonderful help to meditation, I personally couldn't do without it!

    Go here to download the free ebook about EFT and look at the site and the testimonials made by professional . This is the best, do yourself a favor

    with love :p

    Zeriva

    EFT Home - World Center for EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)
     
    Last edited: Jan 30, 2009
  9. magu

    magu Member

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  10. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi,

    Wow, thank you so much! People helping each other without
    getting money for it, is rare these days *gg*
    Im curious about how this works, gonna read it now :)

    Oh and about this letting go, its there but it has changed a bit. I nearly dont have it with Lifeflow now, so i can enjoy it. Its still there with other things in my life.

    Tysm,
    Pan

    Edit: For german speaking people (im from Austria) theres the whole eft thing in german Alles über EFT in deutsch
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2009

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