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I'm getting very frustrated by this aspect of my behavior

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by m2244, Oct 9, 2014.

  1. m2244

    m2244 Member

    Mar 20, 2014
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    Hello Everyone,

    Today I became painfully aware of one of my behaviors that is, first of all, holding me back, and second, frustrating the heck out of me. I am very passive for some reason. When I talk, I will often say "I think" or "I believe". It has really come to my attention this week as I am going through promotion boards for my job in the Air National Guard.

    Today I was talking to a close friend about her marriage (I am a man by the way). As we were talking she started to say something in a passive way, then stopped and said "Now I sound like you". She didn't mean anything by it but it really drove home this problem I have.

    Why am I so unsure all the time? I am getting seriously frustrated by this. This habitual behavior does not help me in my military career, not to mention the fact that I am starting a business and need to be confident for that as well.

    Thank you.
  2. GilesC

    GilesC Member

    Jan 4, 2009
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    Perhaps the problem is that you perceive this to be a problem?
    I don't see why saying things like "I think" or "I believe" is somehow wrong. Different people express things differently, so you shouldn't expect yourself to be like other people. It's like people making introverts feel bad because they believe they should be outgoing extroverts, when really many of the great people in history have been introverted.

    Don't let society pressure you into being something you're not.
  3. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

    Dec 11, 2007
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    Hi m2244,

    I totally agree with Giles ;) It made me think of a book about different personality types that my family and I have learned much from. Here is a link to how Wiki gives an overall view of the author Florence Littauer and the book Personality Plus...

    Florence Littauer - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Each of the personalities have strengths and weaknesses - by doing the quiz with your family you can discover each of your personalities and therefore understand each other more.

    One small example in our case is that part of my personality and my sons is to make decisions very quickly - still we are both aware that my husband and one of our daughters need longer to process the facts before they make a decision. Neither way is right or wrong, just different.

    It's quite enlightening and really helpful to understand yourself and others.

    Hope this helps and wish you much peace and joy :) :) :)

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