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I need to wake up...depression ? Please help

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by daisy3, May 31, 2009.

  1. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    hi everyone,
    I'm on 5th week of meditating with LF 10.have been meditating twice a day with LF once and gratitude once.I've gone into this state of numbness , very
    quiet.not interested in anything at all.My husband just won three trophies in a
    row playing TT and i was indifferent to his achievement ,i'm normally very
    supportive and celebrate these occasions with pride.competitions don't make
    sense to me anymore. I just sit , walk , move with a blank mind.I don't know
    where my consciousness has disappeared to.I'm always going hmm...hmm when people talk to me.I've been in an embarassing situation in a meeting last week where i lost track of other person's conversation and ended up saying something out of context.The director rolled her eyes , i had to quickly pull myself togather to make sense of what was going on.

    I feel activities going on in my brain most of the time.I feel strong pulsation
    , itch and ebbing of liquid . A sensation of strong shooting fountain hits my skull towards the end of meditation, which scared me to death the first instance and had to remove my head phone.I'm using sedona method as adviced previously by edwin ( thank you )and has helped me to let go of the fear and accept what was happening with ease.

    I've gone back to jogging for 30 mins on weekends and some evenings tagging my 13 year old daughter with me in an attempt to feel and bring myself back to reality.I've got so much work waiting to be finished. Might end up without any. I need to wake up. Please help.
    daffodil
     
  2. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Be gentle with yourself

    Daffodil, maybe it would be good to ease up on meditating and stick with the gratitudes for awhile. It's also a really good idea to start with prayer to link with your Higher Power, within and without. You can visualise yourself wrapped in a cocoon of protective white light, knowing that only positive energy can reach you. Try breathing love energy into your heart center in the middle of your chest. Ask for healing and guidance to bring balance and calm into your way of being. Let your inner wisdom speak to you.

    Think of what you need. If you're using LF, you must be looking for spiritual awakening in some form. You could benefit from being clear about what you're looking for and asking for that to come in a harmonious, gentle way which will benefit yourself and all those around you.

    Please keep posting. There are many caring people here who can give you wonderful advice.

    Love and blessings
    Bhavya

    Btw, keep up the exercise. It can be really helpful as I'm sure you're discovering.
     
  3. seatrend8899

    seatrend8899 Member

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    Daffodil,
    I do not have enough experience in meditation or LifeFlow guided meditation to really give you valuable advice. Just know that I for one am thinking of you so please consider that you now have another soul "in your corner".


    take care

    jim
     
  4. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Lately I have some contact with a therapist who, besides being a normal psychotherapist also has experience with chakra's.

    He tought me a technique to "ground" myself. It is perfectly safe, and works if you have the followin symptoms:

    If you feel floating sensations, or bad after a short sleep, or feel like being in a cocoon, can't make contact with the world, then you are too high in your crown chakra. You will probably experience cold feet/hands, you lost contact with the earth.

    1. Place your left hand against your basic chakra ( near the tailbone ) and the right hand against the crownchakra. The right hand sends the energy, that wants to go up, back. This will ground you. After a few minutes, first let go of the left hand, then let go of the right.

    I noticed this line in your post:
    Actually, your consiousness can't disappear. You lost awareness, not consiousness.
    a simple exercise to do before you do your gratitude as recommended by Bhavya:

    Ly down as comfortably as possible.
    Slowly bring your focus towards your breathing, follow it as it goes in-out-in-out. Feel the air going through your chest, your nostrils, the feeling of fresh air filling your lungs. Try to expand your belly while you inhale. Try instead of exhaling with force, to just relax your chest and belly, let it flow out by pure gravity.
    Now feel your entire body, your hands and feet, try to feel the life resonating inside them. Don't try to think about it, just try to observe it as if there is a distance between your mind and your body. All this should be effortless. Try to find tensions in your muscles, head, limbs and just observe them. Then go to your gratitude exercise.
    During your gratitude exercise, try to keep the awareness on your body as well. just faintly in the background while you do your gratitude exercise.
    After having done this for a few days, try to maintain this awareness in your daily life as well. about 20 % on your body, the rest on work, home, family...

    And finally, try to keep in mind:

    It will pass !

    Whatever happens, good or bad, it will pass. The problem of today can only be temporary. Sure it affects you now ( or it does whenever you forget your awareness on your body ) but in 10 years you will probably have forgotten about it. And in a 100 years, who will care ?
    This may sound like numbness as well, but really it isn't. The best way to care is to not care. When you tap into your awareness or presence by keeping some focus on the body, the chances that your thoughts will suck you into your drama are a lot smaller. This combined with the gratitude exercise will get you back in touch with the consiousness beneath your drama, and fill you with love.
     
  5. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Great post Edwin!
    I wish i would have had such support in my
    worst times. Though im not sure if the
    problems or my handling of them changed.
     
  6. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    daffodil,
    Life is full of never ending changes. When we begin to live our lives differently we begin to change immeasurably. The way we react to things changes and our natural demeanor can also change. I've gone through some changes and had my wife wondering what was going on too. The results have always came up positive so I trudge along somewhat the same path. This is hard to explain because I am different from day to day so my experiences are also different.
    The only thing constant in life is change; embrace it and you will go far.

    gus
     
  7. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    I found that changes sometimes can happen more easily when you're
    taking distance to certain people for an amount of time (even beloved ones),
    because they reflect on you what they know from you, and sometimes "they" are
    not ready for changes :))

    Pan
     
  8. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    Pa,
    That is a very astute observation; excellently put too.

    gus
     
  9. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Thank you

    Bhavya
    jim
    Edwin
    Pan
    Gus

    My heart felt thank you for all your kindest instant support .I'm not good with
    words , hope you'll understand i convey this sincerely. I'm a lot better now.

    bhavya
    I have taken your advice and only doing gratitide for now.Thank you for pointing out that I might be looking out for spiritual awakening , that might be it no actually that's it.I came to life flow because i wanted to change from
    just existing to feeling and live being.
    yes i'm keeping up with the exercise .I also walk bare feet on the grass covered in dew drops and lay down on my back arms spread wide open following my inner urge after jogging in the mornings.Nothing can beat the feeling i experience , so close to earth and gentle breeze blowing over my whole body.It's unbelieveably healing.
    bless you for having so much sprit and knowledge to share with new members
    like me in the forum.
    Hugs
    daffodil

    Jim
    I have you right next to me.I hope i'll be equally supportive to you if ever you
    need one.
    Hugs
     
  10. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Edwin
    I have to call you the sriritual doctor of meditation forum after all the "so effective"step by step guidance in supporting me to ground myself and gain an awareness.i'm glad i used the forum to ask.I'm sure your guidance has helped other people alongside me.

    Re : Grounding exercise
    I had about three quarters of the symptoms you mentioned such as feel of floating sensations, bad after a short sleep, feel like being in a cocoon,feeling of not being able to make contact with the world but didn't experience cold feet/hands, it was actually the other way round, also my body naturally tends to rock back and forth when sit legs crossed.I don't know what causes that.Since i had most of the symptoms i decide to give it a go and have begun to relax and the floating sensation has gone down a lot
    and i am actually initiating contact with people. Today i was able to sit down and let another colleague who is going through a rough patch in her life know that i care,eventhough i can't solve her problems for her she know i'm there for her to reach out 24/7 for whatever i can do to help ,all she needs to do is
    call me.
    Re : awareness exercise.
    I presisely followed your instruction and carried it out before gratitude exercise.I have to say this was the first time i ever genuinely experienced
    the life resonating inside my body specially when i let the gravity exhale the air from my lungs .It felt awesome , I was theoritically well versed about the energy and chakras but you presented them practically to me.The same. gratitude exercise seemed different this time.It was deeper and more meaningful.I love the awareness exercise and am doing it everytime before gratitude and learning to keep the 20 persent in my daily life.

    And finally, try to keep in mind:

    "It will pass !

    Whatever happens, good or bad, it will pass. The problem of today can only be temporary. Sure it affects you now ( or it does whenever you forget your awareness on your body ) but in 10 years you will probably have forgotten about it. And in a 100 years, who will care ?
    This may sound like numbness as well, but really it isn't. The best way to care is to not care. When you tap into your awareness or presence by keeping some focus on the body, the chances that your thoughts will suck you into your drama are a lot smaller. This combined with the gratitude exercise will get you back in touch with the consiousness beneath your drama, and fill you with love.[/QUOTE]

    The above strong affirmation you gave me above helped me to wake up to the positive start. I believe in "tomorrow is different" , i live with this belief , That's one thing that helped me all along and that's what i told people . this time I lost it and it was so beautiful the way you conveyed it , went straight
    to my sole.Just about started reading A New Earth and can understand "Drama" more now
    Yes now i know I lost awareness, amazing how you pointed out so clearly and included the relevant exercise.I'm on my way to fuller life.

    It was like sitting across you while going through your post.
    i can never thank you enough for all your help , time and effort.
    Hugs
    daffodil
     
    Last edited: Jun 3, 2009
  11. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Gus
    what a great practical insight into our changing life. your post helped me
    look into my life ruminate and be able to sort out my jumbled head a lot.
    It's unbelievable how one can go empty,deaf and dumb in one's worst time.
    That was one strong hand you passed.

    " The way we react to things changes and our natural demeanor can also change" tell me about it.I realise now having awareness is a great asset to
    handling all the changes positively. with everyone's support i received this time i am not going to be there again.

    "The only thing constant in life is change; embrace it and you will go far."
    I try to remind myself this at least 3 times a day.Now change is something i'll have embrace more than ever.
    thank you ever so much.
    Hugs
    Daffodil
     
  12. enlighteneduk

    enlighteneduk Member

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    Do you always use headphones, Daffodil? I found that I had moments of real unease when using them, but have never had this without them, quite the contrary. I havent used headphones since, but do not feel in any way that I am losing the benefit of LF without them.

    Heather
     
  13. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    No, as instructed by michael i do a mix of head phone and listening openly.
    I did too ,specially around the 4th week but those times i was using the head phone three to four days in a row.from what i understand we should be listening with and without headphones to strike a good balance for best benefit.Michael says that using headphones benefits you in terms of low beats
    such as binoral reaching your brain precisely in time enough to sinchronise your brain.The uncomfortable feeling you get is called resistance - i used sedona method ( Edwin's suggestion) which you can download from the net
    and it helped me.
    i hope it helps.
    daffodil
     
  14. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Pan


    "
     
  15. ambler

    ambler Member

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    People who are suffering from depression and anxiety should also pay special attention to their diet. Make sure you're getting plenty of iron, vitamin B, and the Omegas (especially Omega 3's, which can be procured from fish oil and actual cold water fish like herring and salmon and sardines). I'm sure most people know this already, but nonetheless we truly are what we eat, as the old saw goes, and our brain is both an organ and a muscle.

    Also, whenever I feel like meditation is not quite doing the trick, there's no doubt that exercise can be the miracle cure. Anything that gets your heart-rate up and stimulates serotonin is wonderful. Activities like yoga, tai chi, qi jong, or simply jogging and swimming are invaluable to physical and mental health. After all, you can only meditate so much with this technology before it becomes counter-productive.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ambler
     
  16. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Daffodil, I am glad you are feeling better.

    You may not be ready for what I am about to say, but maybe if you read it back in a few weeks you will be.

    Usually when we feel uneasy or unhappy, seemingly without reason, we are engaged in "drama" as Tolle puts it.
    I have been struggling with the concept for almost a year, and couldn't find the answer. Sure, I read a lot of comments about " having to go through the experience, not avoiding it ", but that seemed like a very painfull thing. Why would I want to hurt myself ? ( Notice the 2 I's ? )

    Lately I have found out that "having to go through" requires neither effort nor pain.
    All I have to do is ask myself 2 questions:

    - What am I thinking ( or better even, "what is I thinking" )
    - What am I feeling in my body ?

    So, when you feel unhappy, it usually has to do with drama. Drama comes from thought. Thought just comes and goes, you have no control over this. People say "I am thinking", but is that really a verb ?
    The thought is not formed by our concious mind, it comes up, and we react to it. From that reaction, a new thought arises, after which we react again.
    Just as we say in meditation, thoughts should be treated as clouds coming by. They come, we can't control that, they are there, we can't control that, they pass. We think it is perfectly normal to say "I am thinking", yet I have never heard anyone say "I am clouding".
    You can ly on the grass on a beautifull sunny day, watching ( or better, observing ) the clouds. But you can't "cloud".
    Thoughts happen, feelings happen ( a lot of them as a result of thought ) and all we really can do is observe them.

    Now comes the really tricky part.
    If we can't actively think, what have we been doing all this time ?
    We have been fooling ourselves into thinking that we control our life by reacting to thought. This is why Buddhists say "Everything is as it should be". We react from conciousness ( even the most unconsious person ) and then trick ourselves into believing that this was a reaction caused by thought. When you have to make a choice, usually you have no choice. You choose the best option, not the worst. This is an automatic process. Once the choice has been made, thoughts arise: "was this the right choice ?" "Did I do the right thing ?" and even worse: "What would have happened if I chose the other option ?". Would it really matter what you chose after the choice has been made ? It has been made, it is in the past, nothing you can do to change that. In Zen they say: "Every snowflake falls, exactly where it should".
    Does this mean that everything is pre-destined ? I have no answer to that ( yet ). Maybe our life is like a big computer, adding experience to the consiousness of the universe, just like every cell in our body works for itself, yet all of them together forms a body, your body.

    I do know that we can go through life without worries, without thinking.

    There is a Buddhist saying "Before Enlightenment, there is chopping wood and carrying water, after enlightenment there is chopping wood and carrying water."

    Life does not change, but you do find out that the burden of thought doesn't add to your life. If you ask yourself:

    What am I thinking ?

    You don't have to judge your thought. All you have to do is observe it. Explore it. With an open, inquireing mind.

    I don't know if it works for you, but my mind stops almost immediately when I start to actively listen to thought.
    If a thought or a feeling does arise after that question, you were meant to have it, so just accept it, welcome it into your life. This thought or feeling is there to help you.
    Act upon it if needed. How will you know? When you act ! If you don't act, it wasn't supposed to happen, you chose not to act. Trust you instinct ( or consiousness ) to make the right choice for you, it has been doing that all along anyway.

    I hope what I am saying makes sense to you.
     
  17. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Hi ambler
    You are right about the importance of balanced diets, suppliment vitamins
    and exercise in order to maintain health mind and body.I found sea salts to be
    very good as well specially those in unprocessed form which comes with whole
    goodness of minerals.
    I switched from swimming to jogging lately due to time schedule but nonetheless find them equally good.

    "After all, you can only meditate so much with this technology before it becomes counter-productive".
    Yes very true.
    Thank you
    daffodil
     
  18. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Edwin,
    You are right i need more time to internalise your brilliant post. I know it will
    help me in time . i'm making a very good use of it by going back to read regularly.
    I 'm engaged in "Drama " at the moment and trying to observe it , It is i don't know how to put it , i get so caught up , soak up other people's negative energy and get so annoyed. last friday morning to work witnessed an incident in the train where a man accidently knocked his leg on a lady's knee going past her to a seat next to her.The man politely apologised and in response She looked daggers at him , such chill . My thought started chattering away --Why are people so cold ? so filled with vain superior complex ,for pete's sake he said sorry can't you just say it's ok ..oh...people.. and on and on . Then came anger ..emotion..just got sucked in . then there was one at work- you don't want to know. I guess i'm attracting negative energy with my own.

    Just felt a need to read "The Power of Now" got myself a copy and have begun today. Very engaging start.

    Thank you for your help again.
    daffodil
     
  19. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Don't worry Daffodil, getting caught in people's drama happens to all of us in the beginning.

    In fact, TV would be nothing without it.

    Actually tv would be a nice metaphore, and you can even try this one out.

    When you watch a good movie on TV, it doesn't take long for you to get sucked into the story. Somewhere during the movie, you lose everything around the image, and all that is registered in your mind is the movie.
    You become part of it, when the actor gets scared, so do you, when he is angry, so are you. Even tho your eyes still register everything around it, the brain filters it out, making what you see on TV the only reality for that moment.

    The shift in perspective that Tolle talks about, and to what I was referring, is that the drama that we are engaged in is like the images and sounds coming from the tv. However, these images are not real ( as in real life ). The only real thing is your TV set. It is how the images and sounds reach you.
    You see them, but when you don't get sucked in the story by staying aware of the tv set and the room you are in at the same time you are watching the movie, you will realise that the movie won't nearly be as intensive. Try it !

    The same is with our everyday life. The images and sounds that our brains process come and go. When you don't think about everything that you see ( when you see a bird, you don't have to think "bird" for it to become real ) all you do is See, you are the Watcher. You don't get sucked into the story.
    An interesting person once wrote a book called "What's wrong with right now unless you think about it" ( "Sailor" Bob Adamson ).
    And that's just it !

    All your drama comes from thought. You can't stop thought by wanting it, but it stops automatically when you stop paying attention.
    And that's how we return to meditation.
    Meditation does the same. At first, we are so immersed in who we think we are ( thought ) that there is almost no escape from thought.
    Meditation techniques help you focus on something that takes you away from paying attention to your everyday thought. This takes practice, but when you get the hang of it, you can start applying it to every day life as well.

    And in the course of about a year to 2 years with LifeFlow, life becomes different, you start to, getting back to the metaphore: notice the edges around the tv, besides the movie playing on it.
    The drama displayed on the screen becomes less interesting, because you realise that this is just "form", it's a movie, and by not judging it or thinking about it, You can still enjoy the story, but you don't get sucked in anymore.

    The peace comes from within now. Joy, happiness, stillness flows inside you, despite all that happens to you in the world of form.

    If you have any question regarding Tolle's book, feel free to ask them :)
     
  20. daisy3

    daisy3 Member

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    Hi Edwin,
    I'll come back to boather you with more Tolle questions later, for now i've come up with another one and trust you to come up with answer .I have develope this strong urge to stop breathing which comes up after 5 to 10 minutes of starting the meditation.is this another resistance in me that i have to be aware of and let go? I have to make an effort to breathe normally and leads me to heave heavily. one one occasion my breath stopped naturally and felt a sensation of my body getting lighter and rising then realised i was holding my breath without my knowledge, instantly tried to gain a normal breathing pattern. my meditation went through a labourous breathing this morning. what am i doing wrong?
    Thanks again.
    daffodil
     

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