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I Feel Lost.

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by peacefulpride, Jan 13, 2011.

  1. peacefulpride

    peacefulpride Member

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    This is my first ever post on Project Meditation, im not even sure if this is the right place for my thread but anyways,
    ive been worrying alot lately about many different things relating to my life, so many things that i end up stressed out and confused. i was diagnosed with ADD as a kid and have been on meds since then, but i never really thought to much of it untill recently. now that i am 20, i look back at my life in school and find my self asking alot of questions. I would ask myself questions like; why was i an under achiever through school, is it because im not smart? because im too slow?... do i have to be an under achiever forever?..
    Then i will take these thoughts and dig deeper to find connections between the other questions i have. why am i unable to motivate myself, how do i discover that hidden drive that will lead me to a more successful, fulfilling life. The list goes on.

    i have done research on such topics as psychology, phylosophy and the human brain. I just recently started meditation ....it seems like all of my worry is derived from so much uncertanty about myself and my future.

    im stuck in this loop of worry causing confusion and confusion causing worry.

    Maybe ive just gone crazy and this "answer" i seek is only a figment of my imagination, who knows. Maybe im just trying to find my mission in life.

    Im not looking for all the answers, just a little guidance from anyone who wants to share their opinion.

    Thank you all, i look forward to hearing what people have to say.
     
  2. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    Hi peacefulpride and welcome to the community,

    Being diagnosed with ADD or just lacking attention doesn't mean that you lack intelligence or that you're slow, and it can often relate to something earlier in life or something you've learnt from parents. There are more and more young people nowadays being diagnosed with ADD, and I suspect (I don't have facts to hand) that it somehow relates to the ever increasingly active world in which we live, and as children our desire to emulate our parents and those around us.

    I remember as a child myself (not that long ago!), things went at a slower pace than nowadays; there were only a few TV channels and those "closed" for the night, shops shut early on a Wednesday (early closing day) and never opened on Sundays; if people wanted to speak to someone on the phone they tried phoning their home and if there was no reply it didn't really matter, you'd catch them later, etc.

    Nowadays, it's all about having and doing things now with lots of information and choice; hundreds of TV channels pushing marketing at you 24 hours a day, shops open 24 hours a day, everyone with mobile/cell phones just so they don't miss a call, people Tweeting on Twitter to share their every move with everybody who's desperate to know what people are up to. It's just none stop. So how children can grow up in this world of today and achieve attention on everything that's going on around them, or even discerning what actually needs their attention from what doesn't, is really a challenge.

    So, IMO, you're no different to anyone else, simply that your learning experience as you've grown hasn't taught you to discern the true needs from all the 'needs' that are being put forward to you.

    Having some understanding psychology, philosophy and the human brain/mind is a good thing as it can help you to start to understand yourself. Meditation, you will find very benefitial, though let's not beat about the bush, as with a lot of people, it's a long term thing you need to work at. Many people think they can just meditate a couple of times and there should be some magical "woosh" and everything changes, then they get frustrated etc. but this is often because they are learning from books, CD's etc. and have no personal guidance.

    Well, this forum is a good place for that, as you can always ask questions and get answers and others' experiences to help you along. (Michael also brought out some techniques on CD called EnlightenQ last year which helps, though not sure if it's currently available, think it may be again soon if it isn't). The important thing is, stick with the meditation, and be aware that some emotions, issues etc. may arise out of doing it and then accept those things and choose to move on. Also be aware that the benefits of meditation are experienced mainly in our daily lives, rather than during the meditation practice itself, and these are likely to come about gradually over time the more you practice (note: avoid over meditating, just a couple of times a day for 15-20 minutes should be fine). After a while, you'll be able to look back at where you were when you started and realise how far you've moved on.

    Any confusion, worry or other things you have... these are just emotions and tricks of the mind. Accept that the mind brings these things up and carry on.

    Sounds easy, and I know from experience it's not, but I also know that over time it becomes easier.

    I'm sure you'll get some excellent advice from others on here too.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  3. M L K

    M L K Member

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    Hi, Peaceful Pride,
    Giles has already said a lot that is valuable. All I will add, as someone who was 20 years old MANY years ago, is that it has been very helpful to me to shift - slowly but surely over the years - from an orientation where I thought I needed to have everything figured out ahead of time, before making decisions, to one wherein I accept and even relish life as mystery and adventure. (Make that Mystery and adventure. :)) The new way is experimental, and a very different way to frame and experience the "Hm, I don't know" at any given time. Also, sometimes I think a lot of our anxiety is really performance anxiety, the fear of making mistakes and of disappointing others. My recommendation is to be gentle with yourself, as you would be with others. Let yourself have a steady meditation practice and see how it grounds you in something much deeper than any anxiety. Actually, you are already grounded there; the meditation brings it more and more to your awareness. Welcome to our forum.
     
  4. olmate

    olmate Member

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    Hi Peacefulpride,

    I am an avid bicycle rider. I thought of your post last night while reading an interview with Fabian Cancellara ( a Swiss champion time trial rider). Whilst his comments relate to his sport, I like the practical approach he has to mental and physical challenges. So for what they are worth, I thought I would share them with you...

    His mental approach: he uses visualisation to bring to mind how he will feel in various parts of his ride including how his legs will feel with the pain in his legs. So when he is riding hard and the pain comes, he welcomes it as a good thing - that is how he makes a good sensation of effort come. Michael Mackenzie uses this "feeling" aproach in his latest meditation course (I think) with great effect. So the meaning that we attach to our feelings can often take us in a counter productive direction. We can influence that however.

    His training - he tailors his training schedule to whatever is going on in his life and specific events ahead of him. So in this sense, he prioritises and sorts through the clutter before him to bring increased levels of simplicity to a seemingly complex task. This sorting process may also benefit and provide a more realistic picture of what is confronting you or bubbling to the surface and help put it into perspective.

    There were many other facinating parts to the interview, but unless you are a cycling fan, won't have much interest. :)

    Nothing but the best...

    Olmate
     

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