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i am having trouble

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by jansen777, Sep 13, 2010.

  1. jansen777

    jansen777 Member

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    understanding meditation completely. from what i've read, meditation teaches us to become detached. surely this means that things we enjoy we will cease too, and what about all our goals and aspirations? does meditation make us idle and have no drive?

    personally i have many goals that i wish to achieve in life, and whilst the whole relaxation and calmness benefits associated with meditation really appeal to me, losing all my desire to achieve certain things (yes some material) concerns me.

    have i got this right? or am i missing something?

    thanks for your time :)
     
  2. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Basically, yes.
    Thanks to meditation I am now totally detached, and haven't enjoyed one minute of my life for about 3 years now.

    PSYCH !!!! :p

    This is a classical mistake that people make. I know because I used to think the same thing.
    Detachment doesn't mean losing interest ! Or losing desire !

    Meditation will only teach people to see emotions and thoughts that come up as something seperate from their self-image.
    For instance, a friend of mine showed me a small movie on his phone of him trying to learn a trick on his skateboard, where he crashed and burned in the worst case, he fell flat on his face.

    He was trying his very best, put 120% effort in the task, he was very passionate about learning this move.
    However, he didn't consider his failure and rather silly looking pavement-kiss as something that could hurt his self-esteem, or a stupid decision or whatever.
    He just recognised it as a silly thing without any shame what so ever and was laughing his behind off with everybody else in the room ( it was at a birthdayparty with lots of people he didn't know, how comfortable would you feel ? ) without any inhibitions.

    Why didn't he feel any shame ?

    Because he was detached. He didn't care what other people might think of him, or how he would look, and as a result, everybody thought he was cool because of his self esteem.

    In time with meditation you will learn that the detachment goes deeper, that it's not attachment from the things you feel passionate about, but losing attachment to your self-image that will make the biggest difference in your life.

    But that's not important for now, bottom line is: not to worry, I can guarantee you that your passion and desires will only become stronger when you have meditated for quite some time :)
     
  3. jansen777

    jansen777 Member

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    thanks a lot for that edwin, has cleared a lot up.

    i had a feeling that i was interpreting detachment the wrong way, so was a bit shocked when i read the first part :D
     
  4. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi Jansen, it's a very good question. For many years I have had dreams, goals and aspirations. Some great ones have already been realised and many more will come into fruition.

    I have been meditating with LifeFlow for around 4 years and the difference it has made to both my personal and my work life has been nothing short of astounding.

    Meditation for me is simply spending a little time each day in the quiet place which is within each of us - it is such a natural state where we can rejuvenate ourselves and take a brief break from the fast pace of life.

    Through meditation you can allow the restricting belief systems which hold you back from moving forward in life to fall away, allowing you to be open-minded to new ideas and more choices. Have you ever noticed that some people grow up with and never change certain belief systems? They are probably not aware that they can.

    You will probably find that the things you like and enjoy will become even more enjoyable through meditation as it heightens your senses and awareness.

    You will certainly not become more idle or lose your drive, I definately haven't. On the contrary, you will think more clearly (I definately do) solutions will come quickly because your mind will not be cluttered etc.

    All I can say is at 57 I have such huge plans and meditation will keep my body, mind and spirit healthier for longer so I can achieve what I intend to do in this lifetime.

    I hope this helps and wish you much peace, joy, dreams and aspirations :) :) :)
     
  5. jansen777

    jansen777 Member

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    thanks pollyanna.
     
  6. Itlandm

    Itlandm Member

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    Oh, I don't know... I have noticed a sharp reduction in my desire to stab irritating people, or at least shove them off the top of a flight of stairs.

    On the other hand I have noticed an increased desire to help people and give something back to the world that has kept me alive for all these years. So I guess desire is something you never quite get rid of... :)
     
  7. Midnight

    Midnight Member

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    I find that I can enjoy certain things more than I ever did before now. Especially material things. They are no longer the sole source of my happiness, so in that way, i'm free to enjoy those things more, because I know that that is not all there is to life. I don't really have a need for anything anymore, but when I do have something, it's very nice to have. Ya dig? :)
     
  8. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    I gotta say... LOL!
     
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    And I have to say as well:

    ROFLMAO !!! :D:D:D
     
  10. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    They never were a source of your happiness. Happiness exists always within us, but we cover it up with our emotions, memories and things from the past. We seek happiness through material things believing they will give us happiness, but once we have them we get a sense of disappointment and then look for the next thing and so on and so on... ;)

    A classic example is someone who wins the lottery. They've dreamed of winning for so long and believe it will make them so happy. Fair enough, it may pay of some debts they've been worried about, but then they end up with a lot of money and other issues come up for them. They buy a big house, but then fear that someone will break in so they put up lots of security; they fear that people will all be after their money so they start to distrust people. The money is taking their happiness away (in effect) and replacing it with fear.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  11. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Edwin we were obviously answering the same question at the same time :) Your reply was so complete and covered every angle of the question. I certainly wouldn't have replied had I read your post first. Reading the other comments also, I'm wondering if meditation improves our sense of humour :p

    Peace and joy to all :) :) :)
     
  12. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Haha Pollyanna, don't worry, your reply was just as much needed as mine.
    It has to do with preferrance of the listener too I guess, we may be saying the same thing but in different words, and sometimes your words reach somebody and sometimes mine do ;)

    I have the same thing with Giles btw, we often seem to compete over who post his answer first, thank goodness he is very long-winded or I would never get to post haha !

    ;)
     
  13. Midnight

    Midnight Member

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    Although thats a great point, I think it would be more accurate to say joy is always within us. Happiness could be described as more of a reaction that happens in response to external events and such. Joy is what I feel for just being alive. At least that is how i've always seen it. :)

    In our society, businesses make money by making you think you'll be happy if you get this certain thing. I used to buy into that sort of mindset, and the positive feelings I got from getting something were very shallow and short lived. Now I don't have that sense, and I can fully enjoy something even more, because I don't rely on it :D
     
  14. Itlandm

    Itlandm Member

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    I think you are in a linguistic minority there... Happiness was at least in the past seen as the inner of the two, joy the more outward, lying between happiness and pleasure. Happiness was historically used as a translation for the Greek concept of Eudaimonia ("good spirit") which was more a state of inner expansiveness than an emotion. I see it is now translated "human flourishing". But the concept of happiness has moved outward over time and is now used casually about more superficial and temporary forms of wellbeing.

    Well, there are still peace, contentment and gratitude, which have not changed much. And hopefully never will! :)
     
  15. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Funny how words can twist the truth huh ? ;)
     
  16. Midnight

    Midnight Member

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    Ah, i think I heard Eckhart Tolle use it the way I did, so that's where I got it from.

    Indeed, Edwin.
     
  17. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    LOL!

    I don't compete, I just post. But now I know you do. ;)

    I think, more often than not, we tend to post along the same lines, so it's good for whoever reads those posts to see that there is more a concensus of opinion (or fact! ;) ) Also, good for me to know that I'm not talking rubbish! hehe!

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  18. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Haha I was so looking forward to your reply :cool: Sorry I like to tease the ones I like :D
     

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