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Have I made a mistake?

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by twinkletoes, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Member

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    :confused: I started the first 4 cd's on Sun pm and it was going great. When I went to join you are asked why you want to begin meditation and a list of options I had many reasons so I plumped for Relaxation ( I think!)
    Maybe I should have clicked on the pain one ???
    Yesterday I went out into the local town for the first time in ages and I by yesterday pm i was paying the price. i have m.e/c.f.s and I guess I was feeling so positive that I overdid things and didn't pace myself. I was in so much pain last night and today that I am unable to relax and my painkillers space me out quite a bit.
    Is there anyone else out there dealing with m.e/c.f.s, it would be so nice to know and maybe gain an insight in some way. I'm kind of in a panic now thinking that if I have relapses I'm not going to be able to manage the meditation. Feeling a tad flat now although tomorrow is another day.
    Any comments advice from anyone would be great
    :eek: Gilli :eek:
     
  2. Grey

    Grey Member

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    ?

    what is "m.e/c.f.s"?
     
  3. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Member

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    Hi Grey
    m.e or c.f.s (chronic fatigue syndrome) is a multi layered syndrome with many symptoms it affects over 150,000 adults and children in the uk. it did have the tag of "yuppie flu" in the 1980's but although it is now recognised by the world health organisation and the dept of health there's a huge amount of controversy over the causes of it and the best way to treat it. there is no doubt though that excessive negative stress has a huge part to play and research has shown that many people seem to develop m.e/cfs post viral illness.
    When I've tried to explain it to Doctors and friends and family the way I describe it is;
    It feels like a true bout of flu which won't go away. You feel totally drained, just being able to get to the bathroom hurts, muscles feel like you've just hit the wall when running a marathon. You feel dizzy and disorientated and feel like you're bouncing off walls, everything seems to be going on around you but you don't feel like you're on the same planet and you cant think straight. You become quite an insomniac too as although desparately tired you just can't sleep and thtas often due to muscle aches and muscle twitching.
    It is the most awful thing that I've ever had to deal with and it gets you pretty down. I have been almost housebound since April but I am glad that I can manage to get around the house and use the computer now. I was getting so tense and stressed feeling that I had no purpose or direction and googled meditation to try and see if I could learn to relax and I am so glad that I found this community, I feel less tense already.
    Gosh, I've just realised how much I've typed, hope I haven't bored you
    :eek::eek::eek:
    Gilli x
     
  4. Grey

    Grey Member

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    i see

    i have heard it called "epstein barr virus". if you have fatigue maybe you want to speed your brainwaves up rather than slowing them down.
     
  5. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Member

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    Hi Grey
    It was the rushing around trying to be all things to all people, my mind constantly on the go, the intimidation and belittling from a work place bully. the high levels of stress within nursing, just the constancy of all that that has ultimately over many years brought me to where I'm at now< having been at the stage of needing help to eat and wash I have recognised that I can't keep pushing my mind and body as it will say no firmly and I will end up bedbound again.
    Making the time for myself in the past has always sent me on a guilt trip, I've never even taken five minutes never mind half hour twice a day. The realisation of taking that time and feeling so much calmer and more able has helped me with the guilt thing and to recognise that I am important too and if I'm not emotionally and physically well then I am not capable of doing much at all.
    My mission now is to appreciate the beauty of all that is around me and when I can concentrate more I am going to retrain and do the kind of job that I've wanted for so long. I still want to nurse but without the ward based pressure. I am lucky in that I have the gift of reiki but I want to actually train and develop this. I want to study many alternative therapies and would like to help more in the field of pain management both acute, chronic (arthritis, myalgia, migraine etc) and also oncology (cancer care).
    So tell me about you, why did you join the community?
    Gilli :)
     
  6. Grey

    Grey Member

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    why i joined

    searching for myself, i suppose.
     
  7. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Member

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    And you will find yourself too
    Wishing you a great journey of discovery, let us know how you're getting along :):):)
     
  8. lamiddlewood

    lamiddlewood Member

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    :)Hi there, i have CFS and mine was brought on by glandular fever when i was 11. after that illness my immune system was never the same and i had joint pains particularly in my left knee for years and no matter how many consultants i saw no one could work it out. One doctor i saw didn't believe in M.E for his own reasons but my other doctor was so useful and spoke to me about the possibility of CFS and from then on I knew everything made sense. I suppose i am a lucky one in a way that i dont suffer from extreme pain or feelings that restrict me to the house, i am able to go to the gym and i do yoga at home. i am currently completeing a psychology degree and also my self work in a hospital envirnment. I mainly feel joints pains when i am tired, run down or stressed from coursework however i have managed to deal with it quite well so far with lots of support from my family.
    Well i seem to have written a lot but thought i would let you know that i understand the difficult times you have been through!Just thought i would make myself known as although my family know i have CFS i don't speak to anyone else as im never sure on what they will think and i try even to my family to not make a big deal incase they think im overacting!!
     
  9. twinkletoes

    twinkletoes Member

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    Hi
    Yes I try not to discuss it as it's stressing the family, My hubby is worried and frustrated that he can't do anything to help me and that is making him irritable and snappy and he's tired holding down a job, and then having to do everything else at home and I feel guilty that I can't do anything and when I do something it makes me worse.
    I do believe that I will get better but sometimes its so hard to stay positive.
    I am so glad that you are so much better and I wish you well with the psychology, i considered doing a psychology degree and branching into clinical psychology and working within pain management but I'm in my mid 40's and it will take me a long time and it will definately take me away from quality time with my family and also would put me back into a pressurised and stressful work environment which i have to move away from.
    There are so many other avenues open to me where I will have satisfaction in knowing that I'm helping others, it will happen I'm spreading my wings and flying to that better plain as soon as my little wings will carry me
    wishing you happiness on your journey of discovery

    :) Gilli :)
     

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