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EFT - Who uses it?

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by Panthau, Mar 3, 2009.

  1. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi Giles and Edwin,

    Its just that (this) life doesnt make sense without eyesight. I cant read books anymore, i couldnt write with you guys, i couldnt watch tv, play video games, see my little boy grow up, go out to see the nature, the stars, the see, couldnt drive car, play ping pong and go to the aikido training and a lot more. I just could sit there, and hope someone is nice enough to talk to me. The only thing which would be positive, is that id spend more time meditating *gg*

    I feel that fear mostly when im driving, because at home i feel kinda safe and can "divert" myself with things. When im with customers, im also busy and got no time for thoughts, but in the car its mostly quiet and i got time to think.

    I can only remember the earliest time when i was afraid of that it could happen, that was in groundschool. But i have no clue "why" i was afraid.
    Maybe its due to the fact, that im half blind on one eye (9 diopters and no stereo seeing) and on the "good" eye i got some bigger floaters (mouches volantes). Not really a problem, but a "platform" for my fears.

    Yes, that sounds logical. Ill try what you suggested with eft, thanks for that!

    Maybe its all down to one problem...no trust in me and the people around me, and so the need to "control" whats going on around me. That leads to such fears...

    Thanks guys for your help, i really appreciate it.
    Pan
     
  2. Konstanin1

    Konstanin1 Member

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    Eft

    Hi All,

    well it been a few days since i have been on here last, i had a lot on, doing and delivering my statement involving my grievance hearing, i'm just waiting for a final date.

    Any way getting back to the subject EFT, i know a few people who have sworn by it and i have read inforamtion regarding EFT, thought field therapy, which if i am not mistaken was the inspiration behind EFT. I remember reading that Gary Craig studied TFT, then evolved it into EFT. I know that it uses accupressure points or meridans to tap, while using positive affirmations that fit the solution that you are working on.

    Next month i hope to purchase the series of Life flow meditations and start what i hope to be life enhancing growth.

    All the best
    Konstantin1
     
  3. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Hi Pan
    I used to hate having to depend on others for help and at one point in my life, found it difficult to even ask a favour of anyone. Call it fierce independence. :p Then in 1996 I fell off a ladder and cracked a couple of vertebrae so that I had to rely entirely on the kindness of others. That was really a rich learning experience for me as I discovered that people lovingly gave their time and presence to help me through weeks of helplessness.

    The Law of Attraction (LOA) says we bring on what we fear because what we imagine with feeling has powerful creative force. We can't do much about the circumstances that we've already created up to now and have to accept what is here. But we can do something about how we think, act and react so that we create a positive future. I find that empowering.

    I think life conspires to bring us to awakening. If we don't listen to the still, small voice within - the voice for Love - then life steps up in more dramatic ways...accidents, illness etc. Meditation and working through our blockages can only reduce the need for difficulties to teach us what we need to know. At least, I hope so! :rolleyes:

    If you search Pollyanna's posts, she's written a lot about the law of attraction along with others. It's good stuff to know.

    Wishing you the best! :)
    Bhavya
     
  4. WeeHoo

    WeeHoo Member

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    Konstantin1, you wrote: "I remember reading that Gary Craig studied TFT, then evolved it into EFT. I know that it uses accupressure points or meridans to tap, while using positive affirmations that fit the solution that you are working on."

    Actually, EFT does NOT primarily work "...while using positive affirmations...". It works by going directly to and acknowledging the pain you're in, whether emotional or physical. In other words, I don't have an issue with how much I love chocolate, so I don't need to tap on it. However, when I use chocolate to repress bad feelings, I may want to tap on, "Even though I eat too much chocolate when I'm stressed out..." Does that make any sense? I sometimes tap when I'm grateful, just to tap in the joy, but I never use it in what I think of as the classical positive affirmation sense, in which you are using a phrase that does not really reflect how you feel right now, but how you are hoping to/planning to/intending to feel in the future.
     
  5. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi Bhavya, and thanks for your input.

    Yes i read a book about thoughts and how they manifest our reality, after
    i begun trying to think positive or "detect" hidden bad thoughts...its not that easy :-/

    And thats what makes my fear even bigger, because i know that my thoughts are my reality....ieek! As i´ve read, its not only what we think, but also our focus on it. Didnt manage to escape this problem yet, but its a good input from you, thanks.

    Pan
     
  6. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    Hi Pan,

    Turn it around. Your thoughts are not your reality, but your reality is created by your thoughts. Then consider that your thoughts are based on learnt responses from the past and these create the fears of the future; however in the present moment (that moment we seek to put ourselves in when we meditate) those fears cannot possibly exist... they just don't exist in the here and now.

    It may not seem easy at first, but with practice and meditation you can choose to let any and all thoughts go. It is your choice and you can do it if that is what you want. You can choose to be in the present moment and recognise that the only reality is your true Self; that part of you which observes the thoughts, which observes the physical world, which observes the emotions. It is that observer that is the true Self, and the true Self is unchanging and cannot be the fear that it observes.

    I know I'm going a little off-topic, but I think that starting to recognise the true Self and recognise the choice we have to live in the present moment is part of the journey to heal ourselves; it's something we can use along with EFT and other tools to help us to obtain true freedom.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  7. Panthau

    Panthau Member

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    Hi,

    Thats something i got to learn, for sure. Responsibility was always a matter in my life, and i think its those things that lead me to the right point...be responsible for what i do and think. This will happen anyway, its just the way sometimes which is frustrating...but thats in its nature *gg*

    Thanks all for your input, now im at some point where i got to do something to move on. Ill let you know when that happens :)

    In the meantime, i hope EFT is a good bumper for the worst feelings.

    Thanx again,
    Pan
     
  8. Konstanin1

    Konstanin1 Member

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    re Eft

    Hi Weehoo,

    your post regarding EFT, was understandable and interesting for me to read, especially the applicational useage of Eft, thanks for educating me,

    all the best Konstantin
     
  9. WeeHoo

    WeeHoo Member

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    Sometimes I forget to use EFT!

    Konstantin, thanks for the good words. I had a HUGE fight with my 13 year old last night and this morning things weren't a whole lot better. So I'm sitting here feeling just horrible and then, reading your post, I remembered, oh yeah, EFT! Duh! (add in sound of hand smacking head)

    What follows is a somewhat long-winded explanation of why you use EFT when you're feeling angry/sad/annoyed/devastated/overwhelmed instead of as a positive affirmation thing.

    Warning! I'm going to get really personal here (anyone who hates Too Much Information should click over to another post).

    My set-up phrase right now is: "Even though I'm still furious with Julia, I'm trying to accept myself." {You repeat your set-up phrase three times, rubbing either the spot on the left side of your chest, or the karate chop point on your hand} Then I go through the tapping, using the phrase "I'm furious with Julia" or whatever else comes up as I go through the procedure. Then I stop and take stock of how I feel...I'm still furious with my snotty, rude, mean daughter! So I do another set-up: "Even though I'm still furious with my snotty, rude, mean daughter..." And then I do the tapping again. By this time I'm feeling a little better and my next set-up phrase is something like, "Even though I'm really angry with myself for losing my temper so badly with Julia, I'm trying to accept myself." Tapping again. "Even though I feel like a total shit because I shoved Julia when she wouldn't move when I told her to move three times..." Tap tap tap tap tap...etc.

    A few points here:
    Most importantly: Don't be put off by what looks like a long and complicated procedure. It goes really, really quickly. And as you do it, you'll find the words coming to you easily.

    Point number two: When you do the set-up phrase, it's common to use "Even though....(whatever)...I deeply and completely accept myself." Now sometimes when I'm really angry with myself I simply cannot say those words. Thus the phrase, "I'm trying to accept myself."

    Point number three: After a few rounds of tapping, I am able move on to something like this, "Even though I'm still angry with Julia and I think she's a rotten teenage jerk, I'm trying to accept and love her." Tap tap tap tap tap. Hmm. How do I feel now? Okay, a little better. I think I can do this: "Even though I'm still angry with Julia because she acted so rude, I love and accept her." Tap tap tap...

    I don't remember if you've already logged onto the official EFT website, but the address is EFT Home - World Center for EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques). The materials are available free for download, and nobody explains it as well as Gary Craig. Just FYI, I do not do the hand points any more, just the head/face/body points.

    Again, it reads as if it's a cumbersome procedure but it really goes quickly once you do it a few times. I'm amazed at the results.
     
  10. Alison88

    Alison88 Member

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    Thank you for sharing the way you used EFT to help deal with the feelings you were left with following a difficult situation with your daughter.

    Don't our children have a magnificent way of helping us to grow by throwing such incredible challenges at us and pressing so many buttons!!! I will remember to use EFT in that way when these situations arise, along with meditation, of course!

    Kindest regards.

    Alison
     
  11. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    I have to chip in here and hope you all don't mind - this situation is a typical example of the opportunity to observe the sensations and emotions that come with these kinds of challenges.

    I believe the secret is in being aware of the feelings and sensations before they take over you. When I got the knack of this it really changed the way I responded to situations instead of reacting to them.

    I think when you master this, nothing seems that important in the grand scheme of things. Anyway happy tapping, observing or whatever helps you stay peaceful and calm :) :) :)
     
  12. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    That's an interesting point WeeHoo, it is sometimes difficult to use the "I deeply and completely accept myself" phrase. However, if I may interject an observation of my own... ;)

    The word "Try" (or "Trying") is not an ideal word to use when we are dealing with the unconscious mind. In truth, the unconscious mind doesn't actually know how to "Try" and do something. Let me give an example...

    Place an object (let's say, a pen) in front of you.
    Now try and pick up that pen.

    {"simple" you say}

    What did you do? Did you pick up the pen?
    If you did pick up the pen then you succeeded in picking up the pen.
    If you didn't pick up the pen then you did not succeed in picking up the pen.

    The point here is that "trying" is not an outcome. You can only "succeed" or "not succeed".

    So, when we tell ourselves that we will "try" and do something, we are not actually instructing our unconscious mind as to the outcome that we desire for that task. By saying you are "trying to accept yourself" it doesn't know that you are instructing it to succeed in accepting yourself.

    As such, we then come to the "choices method".
    If the issue is such that we find it difficult to say "I deeply and completely accept myself" (often because people have a block stopping themselves from believing it to be true), then we can reframe it as a choice... "I choose to completely accept myself".

    This not only instructs the unconscious of our desired goal (to accept ourselves) but it doesn't conflict with the blockage that prevents us from recognising that we accept ourselves at this present time.

    My advise therefore is to avoid using the word "try" or "trying" for EFT setup statements and you will find that you can clear the issues even more quickly. In fact, make yourself aware of the word "try(ing)" and notice when you use it in your everyday life. When you notice it, rephrase what you are saying to make it a positive outcome. e.g. If you say you are "trying" to lose weight, you're probably one of those people who are always "trying" to lose weight, but have never quite managed it yet.


    Like most EFT practitioners, this seems to be the case now. ;)

    A very valid point Pollyanna, albeit not a secret, just something that people need awareness of (but I know what you meant hehe!) ;)

    What you say relates to being in the present moment, recognising the truth of a situation or decision before the emotions and associations with past events cloud the judgement.

    Consider the word "react".
    This could just as easily say "re-enact".
    When we react to something we are re-enacting our actions from the past; how we acted/reacted the previous time.
    However, no current situation is ever identical to a situation in the past, so why are we attempting to re-enact it the same?

    Far better is to "act" (or take action) rather than react with a reaction. This is the clear difference of being in the present moment against holding onto our issues of the past.

    Thank you for raising that Pollyanna.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  13. Ta-tsu-wa

    Ta-tsu-wa Member

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    Giles

    I've got a question that maybe others have as well. We typically hear of EFT being used to rid ourselves of negative energy states. Even the setup phrase uses the words "Even though...", sending the clear message that we accept ourselves "in spite of..." something.

    But what about fostering positive things? There's an old Chinese proverb that says, "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness". Are EFT and similar techniques as effective in promoting states of energy we do want as they are in ridding us of those we don't want? If so, specifically, how could we alter the setup and tapping procedures to accomplish the task?

    Here's a practical example, and perhaps you can fill in the blanks. Let's say that right now I'm experiencing deep peacefulness and contentment. I want to use EFT to promote more of these feelings in my life. How would the EFT process unfold using this scenario?
     
  14. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    That's an interesting question Ta Tsu Wa and I'll do my best to answer based on my own understanding. Other EFT practitioners may have a different understanding or explanation, but I shall base my answer on my other therapies and vedic teachings/understanding/knowledge that I have at my disposal. ;)

    Keeping this in as simple terms as possible...

    As Gary Craig tells us, "the cause of all negative emotions is a disruption of the body's energy system." What this is telling us is that there is a close connection (attachment) between the negative emotions and the memories of a particular event. As time goes on we attach other events to this event and it associates with the same negative emotions and creates and more binding negative result building up until we recognise it as an issue that needs dealing with.

    When we are in a situation where something triggers a recall of a past event (whether it is merely a smell, a sight, a sound etc.) then the association with a particular type of emotion is brought up through the energy system.

    By using meridian tapping (accupressure) type techniques such as EFT, we bring up some recall of the event in question, and cause a change in the energy that is attached to the negative type emotions. It's a bit like a road that leads from your home to some scummy part of town, but as you are driving down it, someone is re-building the road and re-directing it in another direction away from the scummy part.

    So, you are asking for a road that takes you to a beautiful place to become more available when you set out on your journey evem if you are not sure where you are heading in the first place. You want all roads to lead to a better place...

    This is a bit NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) in nature.

    You recognise that in the present moment you have a good feeling and you want to associate that with other areas of your life. The fact you feel that you need to do this shows that you have a fear of future events where you are already expecting negative emotions to appear.

    What you need to do is start to list what these fears are. What events do you feel are going to come up in the future where you will not feel the same as the present moment? What is that future event based upon?

    By identifying these fearful (meant in a loose sense) events you can then apply EFT to them the reframe the negative fears you have about them into the positive feelings you have in the present.

    You see, it's not about just feeling great now and wanting to use EFT to tap that feeling into some unknown future; it's about recognising that your need to do that is related to some negative belief/fear about the future, capturing what that fear is and dealing with it.

    It is all about removing the negative, and recognising that we can't put positive into ourselves as we are already positive underneath. The true Self is ever positive, ever blissful, ever clear of negativity, it is just clouded with the negative things that we need to remove via one means or another.

    ;)

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  15. `Tired`

    `Tired` Member

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    I thought there were penguins in Osterreich??? Whaaaa...??? Oh wait, that would be Linux Torvalds and his OS in Finland! Penguin Power!! Now that's a shirt I'd buy. I wouldn't mind having the other one either tbh. :) I believe ignorance isn't geographically localized but pretty well a widespread phenomena that we should all try to repair. Stereotypes can be funny though. ;)

    Back on subject,

    Giles,

    I would like to thank you very much as well as all the others in regards to EFT, I receive Gary Craig's e-mail newsletters and try tapping as well. I believe that this thread has actually clarified one of my biggest insecurities, the fear of failure. I didn't even realize I had this fear until I read the thread and especially the last post before mine.

    I rarely get out, socialize, play music live or any of the other things I used to love to do almost specifically because of this fear. I know why I have it now, the question is how to be rid of it forever. Half the battle is won already...

    I have it because I was in training as a classical guitarist (I wanted Segovia's job! may he rest in peace) when one day we had a guest at the university from South America, one of the Villa Lobos. My family always had their music around along with other talented artists, so I had grown up listening to these guys. I was the best student in my area of expertise at the university and the instructor put me on the spot to play a piece I had never even tried before. I was already overwhelmed from meeting this gentleman I had idolized since I was 6 or 7 years of age and I only have 8 digits to play music with being classically trained so I do the thing I dreaded the most...I choked. I butchered a piece by Giuliani, I mean it sounded like cats and dogs fighting, cows being slaughtered, it was horrible. I was devastated, embarrassed, ashamed and felt so guilty for letting my instructor down. This man had taught Christopher Parkening for several semesters and I ruin his credibility in front of this world renowned guitarist as his best student? :(

    I never took a stage again with any peace of mind and only took the stage 3 or 4 more times then dropped out because of this fear of failure. I know it doesn't sound like much but I had a very promising career as a concert guitarist and I let it all go because of my lack of confidence which was a result of the failure, shame and guilt I felt and still feel.

    Amazing, all that from one thread.

    God Bless
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2009
  16. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    Hi 'Tired',

    I'm glad you've found what we've talked about (so far ;) ) interesting. If such discussions lead to just one person feeling some benefit then it is more than worthwhile investing the effort in those discussions. In turn, it also allows those of us putting the discussion forward to question ourselves and our beliefs and understanding and gives us the opportunity to either re-inforce what we know to be true or discard mis-information that has become attached along the way. In that respect I would also like to thank everyone for allowing me to put down my thoughts, ideas and understanding.

    If you still want it, it's there. You have the skill, the understanding, the knowledge. There is just the fear in the way that you know you can now deal with if that is what you choose to do. I wish you all the best.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  17. `Tired`

    `Tired` Member

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    It seems Edwin always has something positive to add to everything, I've learned a ton of stuff from him by reading his posts and replies. I'm glad to have found these forums and the amazing people here. :) I am very, very thankful. Everyone that I have met so far have proven to be knowledgeable and very open, it is nice to find such a place where everyone's ideas and opinions can be freely discussed and actually respected.


    As far as finding this interesting, it all is interesting, my secondary major was psych and my minor was religions, so I have a sneaking suspicion that pretty much any thread of this nature will always interest me in one aspect or another. :D It's refreshing to find others interested in such things, not to mention I'm a newbie with EFT and am willing to learn as much as possible. :)


    Please continue!!

    May God smile upon you all. :)
     
  18. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi there tired,
    maybe your instructor as a leader or mentor made the mistake of asking too much of you under such pressure and with a piece you were unfamiliar with. If the role was reversed I'm sure you would accept that sometimes things don't go to plan.

    As the saying goes - proper planning prevents poor performance - and I'm sure he would have taken responsibility for the situation he created.

    We all make mistakes, we all fail sometimes, any successful person fails there way to success. We just need to learn from our mistakes.

    I hope you continue to enjoy your special gift and share it with others :)

    I used to visit the places in my mind and cringe at some mistakes I've made - but no more. It isn't necessary and I like myself too much to do that to me - it's gone.

    Keep practising observing feelings and sensations within your body which accompany supressed and negative emotions, don't resist them, just be aware of them and watch them unemotionally - curiously until they dissolve.

    I wish you an abundance of peace, joy and classical guitar playing :) :) :)
     
  19. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    :)

    The biggest problem with trauma like yours is that it is over-dramatised by our memories.

    There is a very big chance that both your teacher as well as the famous guitarist will have not only forgotten the event, but you as well.

    If you recieve the newletters by Michael, you might have read about the tired lady in the forest with a full "gunny sack".

    We tend to carry memories with us as well, and want to re-live them.

    A nice example was from the book " A New Earth " by Eckhart Tolle:

    Two Zen monks are travelling by feet.
    Along the way, they encounter a geisha, who wants to cross the road, but due to heavy rainfall, it is soaked and muddy.
    Without hesitation, one of the monks picks up the lady, and carries her to the other side of the road.
    The other monk doesn't say anything, and they travel on. The next morning, when they are well on their way again, the monk can't control himself anymore, and burst out: " Why did you pick that lady up yesterday ? Isn't that something that us monks just don't do ? "
    The other monk answers: " I let go of that woman yesterday, you are the one still carrying her with you !"

    ;)
     
  20. WeeHoo

    WeeHoo Member

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    Giles--thanks for input

    Giles, your point about using the word "trying" in the EFT set-up phrase is right on, and I notice a real switch in my feelings when I use "I choose to". That's wording that I know, but had somehow forgotten about.

    However, sometimes if I'm feeling exceedingly annoyed with myself, I can't even get out the words "I choose to..." so "I'm trying to..." or "I'm open to being willing to..." is sort of a starting point (albeit a wordy one!). It's interesting what a difference language can make. Thanks for reminding me.
     

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