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Can i have some...

Discussion in 'Mind, Body & Spirit' started by Panthau, Mar 31, 2010.

  1. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    ...negative criticism?

    I trust you guys, and i need some feedback about how you guys perceive me.
    I dont mean the positive side!
    I just want to see if i perceive my behavior at least a bit the way others do.

    I know its a maybe a big request... i apologize, i just want to enhance my social life.

  2. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    That's rather hard Pan !

    First of all, most posts that I read from you are quite good lately, and you always seem willing to help others. If you would have asked me this question a few years ago, I might have answered quite differently, but the fact that you didn't then, and do now, also says a lot about you and how you are doing lately :)

    But why do you want to know Pan ? Do you want to change your self-image ? Brush up on it, become a better person ?
  3. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Thanks for your opinion Edwin!

    I want to know, because i sometimes feel that people could see me a bit "pretentious". Ive learned a lot, and sometimes im not sure if i tell people things they dont even want to hear.

    So i´d only like to get a feedback regarding this, so if you experienced something like that i can maybe be more consciousness about it... but maybe its all just in my mind.
    In any way, i can handle it if theres something "negative" (which is probably hard for you, Edwin, to find, because it needs judging).

    These days i normaly dont want anything... most of the times i let go of anything, so that i sometimes even dont understand what people are saying because my mind has shut up *gg*

    Thanks again,
  4. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    That feeling could be right, it could be wrong. My guru gave me the advice to share as little information as possible about spiritual topics. Only when asked directly should you give information. People should notice you, regardless of what you have to say. Try to be a guru who doesn't want to be, so to speak.

    This is why I have tried to keep the info inhere limited to meditation advice as much as possible lately. Why bother people with information they don't need anyway ? ;)

    Ramana Maharshi was reluctant to speak in general, let alone about Self-realisation, and he is considered the greatest sage of the past century. Go figure :)
  5. pollyanna

    pollyanna Super Moderator

    I agree with Edwin's comments Pan. So I can more clearly understand your question, what do you mean when you say you tell people things they don't want to hear? Are you trying to help them by telling them things they may not be interested in at this point in their lives or are you giving them your opinion about them?

    About the following comment you made:-

    "These days i normaly dont want anything... most of the times i let go of anything, so that i sometimes even dont understand what people are saying because my mind has shut up *gg*"

    Does this mean you are not listening to others or am I completely misunderstanding you?

    I have answered this question because you seem to really want an answer, however, I want you to understand that although I enjoy reading some of your threads and posts with some other members, I don't often comment because they can sometimes be too deep for a simple mind like mine :eek:

    I'd love to be of help but I'm not getting a clear understanding of what you want. I wish you continued peace and joy :) :) :)
  6. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Its just that people made their life so much more worthwile, after getting to talk with me about these topics, that its just a pleasure for me to share the info i also got from someone else.

    But i agree, someone has to be super sensible about these topics, as they can offend people (or their egos) very easy. I dont get the point in hiding these informations though... when someones telling you about their bad life situation or such, why not tell them how they could do it better (if you have the feeling that they can handle the information)?
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2010
  7. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Hi polly, nice to have you in "my" thread :)

    No no, if someones talking to me directly, i listen of course... i dont want to offend anyone :) Its just that i dont understand some chatter sometimes, it seems my mind just doesnt interpret it somehow. Maybe its Alzheimer, i dont know *gg*

    Yes exactly. Im telling people sometimes these things (for example if someone tells me he hates people that seek attention, that its just a part of himself he is hating). In real life, i see if someone can handle it or if it was offending somehow, but on the internet im not quite sure how people see me when im telling them things like that. I registered at an "enlightemend" forum (in german), and i saw that people were partly offended when i said something. Whatever it was, i thought maybe some people on this forum experienced the same and just didnt react because of being polite.

    Especially on this forum, where theres no PM function.

    Hope you get what i meant :)
  8. pollyanna

    pollyanna Super Moderator

    Ahhhh, the penny has dropped with your last comment :) This will probably be one of your biggest frustrations Pan - it certainly used to be mine. Meditation has helped me to understand different belief systems and accept them as they are.

    The following piece means more to me than ever now:-

    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference"

    You can only change and improve your own perspective and with time and patience people will notice and begin to ask you questions and my advice is then - only drip feed :) :) :)
  9. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    It's not so much hiding the information...

    I said this:
    When people feel the need to talk to you about their problems, you have allready been noticed by them, and they probably tell you because they are looking for an answer ( this doesn't have to be, so ask first, sometimes people just need someone to listen so they can get it off their chest, they might not need help to solve the problem ).

    So, if they come to you for help, by all means, give them !
    But don't go giving advice to those that might seem in trouble, but don't want any help in fixing stuff.

    But in the end, helping people with problems is kind of like rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic. It might give some relief or comfort at the time, but the main issue ( WATCH OUT ICEBERG !!! ) is not being attended ;)
    Leave that part to the psychiatrist :cool:
  10. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    I have the same, I call it Alzheimer *light* :p or maybe *Diet* Alzheimer :cool::D
  11. pollyanna

    pollyanna Super Moderator

    Hehehe, was answering before your last post - I need to cook for some hungry men right now but I will meditate or sleep on your latest comments and post later or tomorrow. Your journey is wonderful to witness and I wish you much peace and joy :) :) :)
  12. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    I bow to your wisdom :)
  13. Edwin

    Edwin Member

    Lol we should get a private chatroom somewhere, look at the time in between the posts :cool:
  14. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    lol thanks guys and girls for your comments, i think i understood. Its just that i was afraid that theres a black whole in the personality from pan, which he couldnt perceive.

    It is something im used to, and thats why i maybe tell people things they dont want to hear, or maybe i think so. Because since i can think, people come to me and tell me their most inner secrets, which they even dont share with their belovest ones, or not until years have passed.

    You know what... i ended this "fight" on the german board with the words "I love you more then words can express" and since then im carrying that with me... its like i doubled my inner love :)
  15. sliccy

    sliccy Member

    Perhaps the wisdom of the Tao Te Ching can help you see another perspective. Here it goes:

    When people see some things as beautiful,
    other things become ugly.
    When people see some things as good,
    other things become bad.

    Being and non-being create each other.
    Difficult and easy support each other.
    Long and short define each other.
    High and low depend on each other.
    Before and after follow each other.

    Therefore the Master
    acts without doing anything
    and teaches without saying anything.
    Things arise and she lets them come;
    things disappear and she lets them go.
    She has but doesn't possess,
    acts but doesn't expect.
    When her work is done, she forgets it.
    That is why it lasts forever.

    The last part of the verse might answer some of your questions that you had.
  16. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Thats a wonderful saying, thanks sliccy!
  17. sliccy

    sliccy Member

    My pleasure :)

  18. pollyanna

    pollyanna Super Moderator

    Namaste Edwin and I yours, although mine is only borrowed from many others. I wish you always continued peace and joy :) :) :)
  19. sliccy

    sliccy Member


    Are you familiar with any of the "teachings" from Bashar, by any chance? If not I'd be happy to share a few things, since it has helped me a lot.

  20. Panthau

    Panthau Member

    Last edited: Apr 3, 2010

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