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Beginner Needing Help

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by dunc1n, Sep 9, 2013.

  1. dunc1n

    dunc1n Member

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    Hi guys,

    I am brand new to meditation, I am a very highly strung, depressed, angry person with a very low outlook on life! I am very negative about everything and have considered suicide a few times (it was the effects on my family that stopped me). I cannot focus at work and hate the very thought of going into the office (and this is a job that I really used to enjoy).
    If I could, then I would spend all day in bed just staring at the walls in silence!!!

    I was never always like this. I used to be a very happy person that was always laughing, fun to be around and enjoyed I being me!

    I want to get out of this rut. I have tried many things but none are working, so I am going to try meditating.

    I have already bought an audiobook (learn to meditate by Arron Gadd). I have tried it once but didnt really get any results to be honest. I dont know if I was supposed to feel anything different after just one session, was I????
    I found it really difficult to blank my mind also, as I get a million different thoughts going in and out of my mind every minute!!!!

    I am interested in going through, project meditation's "life flow", BUT I dont know where to start?! I listened to the free demo, but it was just music and there was no real instructions as to what exactly to do.
    What do I need to download/buy from you guys to get the full experience bearing in mind that it will need to give full instructions for a total beginner that is very new to the world of meditation.

    Thanks guys, Im looking forward to my experiences with this.

    Dunc1n
     
  2. robert1956

    robert1956 Member

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    I am new to life flow there is free introduction to meditation that you can down load that I found very helpful and also the free 10 minute meditation as well is a good intro and that is what made up my mind to continue if not for ever but the disc 1 coarse.
    hope you find peace.

    Robert
     
  3. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Welcome to the community Dunc1n :)

    Recognising the state of mind you are in is the first step toward being able to change it and trust me you can. I completely understand that finding a great aid that works well can be like finding a needle in a haystack.

    Here's what I would personally recommend:-

    First and foremost, if you have anymore suicidal tendancies, you must seek some professional advice although I would never recommend anti-depressants personally.

    You can download the free "Discover Meditation" course from the top left of the community and Michael will talk you all the way through. It's so easy and has helped many people. I strongly urge you to do the gratitude exercise that Michael recommends on C.D.2 This exercise alone, if done regularly can make a tremendous difference to your life.

    You've already stated that your family is what has kept you here so far, so this is one of the things you can be truly thankful for. When you feel down and in such a rut, it may seem hard to think of things you are greatful for but if you give it your best, you may amaze yourself.

    Here's a link to someone you may relate to:-

    http://www.project-meditation.org/c...ss-stories/2095-actually-happy.html#post11027

    Once you are familiar with Discover Meditation, you can practise with LifeFlow playing quietly. You should get two links when you download the demo - one being the intro and the other being the 14 minute LifeFlow sample.

    Here is the link to a 3 minute gratitude video that I hope you will enjoy:-

    http://www.project-meditation.org/community/mind-body-spirit/1547-gratitude-video.html#post7757

    Please remember, everything passes. I hope you can look back soon and be really thankful that you are out of your "temporary rut" and enjoying the wonderful life that awaits you.

    Looking forward to hearing how you progress and I wish you an abundance of peace and joy :) :) :)
     
  4. dunc1n

    dunc1n Member

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    Thanks for your comments guys.

    Ok, so I have done my first session (I still have to do my second meditation of the first session).
    Here are my thoughts on my experiences....

    First of all, it says to sit somewhere where your back will be straight and upright (a dining room chair), this is VERY uncomfortable for me, I have a bad back, and have done for a few years. Its due to having bad posture over the years. There is NO WAY I could relax in this position so I lay down on my couch instead. Is this ok? Or do I HAVE to be sitting upright?

    Whilst meditating, I was just repeating my mantra in my head to the rythmn of my breath. Is this ok too?

    Thoughts were coming into my head without me controlling them, the best way I could describe them is that they were mini dreams. I had no control of the thoughts and they were very vivid and very random! Some being like scenes from a horror movie (which is scary)!!!
    As soon as I noticed that these thoughts/dreams were going on in my head, I would concentrate on my mantra again.
    Is this normal? Or were these thoughts ACTUALLY mini dreams? Was I falling into tiny sleeps?

    Afterwards, I felt tired, like I had just woke up in the morning. I certainly didnt feel exhilarated and full of energy! Nor had my mood changed in the slightest.
    Should I have felt differently?? I know that for meditation to make a difference, it takes a long time, but should have I expected to feel ANY different?

    I am certainly going to continue this meditation, and will continue to post my experiences.

    Thanks
    Dunc1n
     
  5. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi again Dunc1n,

    it's fine to lie down, however you may fall asleep more easily - I used to do in the beginning too.

    Rather than answer each question, here is a great thread that I am sure will be of greater help to you. It will answer each question and much more. It's rather long but well worth the read and it has helped many people here:-

    http://www.project-meditation.org/c...nciples-meditation-entrainment.html#post12298

    Please post any more questions you have - I and others will be looking out for you. I wish you much peace and joy :) :) :)
     
  6. GilesC

    GilesC Member

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    Hi dunc1n and welcome to the community,

    I'll answer both of your posts together... though as you'll see my style is that I tend to dissect your post and answer each part of it... hope that's ok. :)

    Ok, you won't realize this yet, but you are non of those things. It's difficult to explain but maybe I can give a simplified example.

    When you feel something, let's say anger, that anger arises in you, and at some point will subside again, and you can observe this happening. It's the same of other emotions of feelings or even just thoughts. They arise and fall away again to be replaced with other things. Now, you say "I am angry"... but you are not. The anger is arising and disappearing again... but YOU... (the "I am") isn't changing at all, because YOU are observing that change happening. Whatever emotions or senses you observer are not really you... because YOU are the one that is observing them, and you cannot be those things that you observe.

    Now you may say this is being pedantic, but it has a very valid point to understand, though somewhat of a philosophical way to look at things, yet it can be very beneficial to keep in mind for the future...

    At any one time, YOU are the observer. You observe thoughts arising and disappearing. You observe emotions arising and disappearing. You observe memories arising and disappearing. The one thing that remains constant is You, the observer. So, whatever you observe is not really you but, as I refer to it, they are things you become attached to; and if you become attached to things and believe them to be you, then they can seem damaging, but the good thing about attachments, is that you can detach yourself from them, and return to being You... the observer, here in this present moment observing what is happening and acting on whatever needs acting on in this moment.

    So, the next time you feel anger rising, or you sense that darkness of depression, just remind yourself that you are observing it happening, and it's not really you. An exercise that some practice is to try and look harder at the thing they're observing to try and analyse it and see it for what it really is.... and when you do this, you often find that it just disappears, because it has not tangible existence. Maybe you could give that a go next time. ;)

    Exactly. You were born you. Things change. The cells of your body die and are replaced with new ones, the emotions arise and fall, the memories come and go, but the one thing that has always existed for you, is that observer. You can choose to bring up that happiness and laughing fun again if you are single pointedly determined to do so.

    Well, I remember my first time meditating. You kind of get that idea in your head that it's going to be something magical, and you're going to experience something wonderful that will be completely life changing, and then you do it and think, "I didn't get anything from it", but as is often the case, we're so busy looking for that magical thing that we distract ourselves from meditating properly. It's not wrong for this to happen, it's human nature. ;)

    This is a misconception, that unfortunately is not explained well by many places that offer meditation, and all too easily they say "just blank your mind" or "let your mind be free of thoughts" etc.

    The fact is that you cannot blank the mind. You cannot stop thoughts arising.
    The unconscious mind is an active source of thoughts, and even when you are resting then it will generate thoughts. The trick of meditation is to allow those thoughts to come and go without getting attached to any particular one. When that happens you start following a 'train of thought' and get distracted from your meditation practice... which is what many people do in their day to day lives when they are 'daydreaming'. So, it's absolutely fine that millions of thoughts come and go every minute, that's perfectly normal, and the fact you're observing them coming and going is good. And yes, you will find yourself getting attached and distracted by thoughts, it happens to even the most proficient meditators, so there's no point beating ourselves up about it, but when we recognize ourselves attached to thoughts, we can bring ourselves back to the point of our meditation and detach again. The fact that you already recognize how active your thoughts are and that you are observing them happening as separate from yourself, is a good start.

    Ok.
    1) Lifeflow by itself is not meditation. However it can be most effective when used with meditation.
    2) The lifeflow demo is effective in itself (and you can put it on repeat if you like). It may seem that it's "just music" but there are "subliminal" (I'll use that term loosely) beats within the track at certain frequencies that help to entrain the brain to steady itself and flow at certain frequencies, which can help bring about a 'balance' in us.
    3) The lifeflow tracks you can purchase are in 10 levels (starting at level 10 and going down to level 1). Each level provides a progressively different level of entrainment beats to help entrain the brain to work more effectively and steadily.
    4) This is important to remember... Using meditation and lifeflow can cause things from within yourself (memories, emotions etc.) to arise that may seem upsetting or distressing, and the level of this will differ from person to person. These should be seen as an opportunity to look at what the underlying cause of these things is, so that you can positively choose to tackle them and move on... as typically they are things from the past are held on to, that you no longer need in the present moment.

    Download the "Discover Meditation" cd's which are free. They will guide you on the mantra based meditation method. Take your time, there's no rush, and the more you practice (over time, not per day), the greater the benefits you will come to recognise when you look back.
    Purchasing the Lifeflow CD's... if you feel you want to... hold off until you get the email that offers you the discounted price, which is the standard routine that admin use (sorry admin, you know it's true! hehe!) so at least you'll get the first level cheaper. The admin here (Jodie et al) are very good, and if you want to stop purchasing for a while, or you want to just receive it every couple of months rather than every month etc. then you can just contact them and say, and they'll work with you to do what's best for you. From experience, I know they'd rather you get the best out of it, and it's not really about them making money.

    Your second post...

    The important thing is that you're comfortable.
    Laying down, is often indicative to your body that you want to sleep, so you may find that counterproductive to meditation, but see how you get on first.
    The idea of sitting upright is that if you're sitting in the right posture then the weight of the body will sit directly down on the spine and you shouldn't find yourself slouching or falling over easily, as the weight goes directly down into your seat. It can however be hard to find the right seat to use for this, as some are too upright (with you finding yourself more comfortable sitting on the edge of them) or they're too high from the ground and your feet are not flat on the floor etc. I guess I'm lucky as I have a bean bag chair my other half created which can mould itself as I need giving support to my lower back, whilst letting me sit upright with my feet comfortably flat on the floor. As I say, the key is to be comfortable. Meditation is not about putting yourself in awkward positions, regardless of the stereotypical images of people sitting in full lotus position.

    Yes, that's ok. Just be aware that you should allow the breath to do what it needs as it's a physical part of your body. If it needs to breath deeply let it, or shallowly, let it, or if it needs to speed up or slow down, let it. Often we get people on here who start of trying to meditate using a 'breathing meditation' which focuses on the breath, but they make the mistake of trying to control the breathing to make it regular. This is not natural for the body, creates discomfort and actually distracts the meditating practice.

    That is perfectly normal. And you're doing the right thing by recognising them as thoughts and bringing yourself back to the mantra. It seems that you are intuitively knowning the right way to meditate. That's great.

    At first it can seem a struggle and it can seem to make us feel tired as if we've had to work hard at it, and that's because we're not sure what we're doing and we're constantly observing what's going on and analysing ourselves to see if it's 'right' or not. Stick at it though (and you may feel it's becoming boring, but that's just another emotion arising so let it go), and with time you will find that you come out of the meditation feeling more 'alive' and ready to face the day, alert of mind, and positive about things. For some people this is more noticeable, and more quick to happen than for other people, but it's worth it when you look back and notice the difference in yourself. But certainly the first few meditations, it can seem like you're not getting anywhere, so I certainly know where you're coming from.

    I look forward to hearing how you get on.

    Hugs

    Giles
     
  7. dunc1n

    dunc1n Member

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    hi guys,

    first of all I would like to say!... WOW! Thanks so much for the feedback and support!!! Its great that there are people out there that are willing to help strangers so much without knowing a thing about them!!! Again, this feedback is VERY much appreciated, and I am VERY thankful.

    So, about the meditation.....
    I have continued to meditate every day. I must admit, i have not/am not really feeling any different, but that may be because I am looking too hard.

    So I tried out the lifeflow free download audio last night, and I will admit, I dont honestly see a difference between using it and and listening to nothing. Again I am maybe looking too hard.

    I am going to try the free download audio for a few more sessions then decide if I want to purchase the lifeflow.
    If I do decide to purchase it, is it just lifeflow 10 that I want to buy first? Then work my way down? Also, how long do you use number 10 for before you move onto number 9 and so on and so on?

    Ok, so I will leave you guys to answer these questions and I will post again in a few days after a few more meditation sessions, to keep you up to date.

    Thanks again guys

    Dunc1n
     
  8. pollyanna

    pollyanna Moderator

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    Hi Dunc1n, you're very welcome and you are not alone in feeling how you do. If you stay with your search here long enough I feel certain you will find the solution. Please keep asking questions until you are satisfied with the answers given.

    I understand that some people are wowed pretty instantly with LifeFlow and for some it takes a little longer. Here is some really good advice given to someone else and may be of great importance to you:-

    "Two of the quickest and most effective techniques I know of to relieve anxiety and panic attacks are to use a combination of breathing techniques and acupressure. You can learn techniques for breathing and acupressure for free online. By focusing attention on your breathing it literally changes your body chemistry and moves it into a more peaceful state. And it also diverts your thoughts away from the symptoms of anxiety and panic. All by itself this helps to prevent them from spiraling down into a vicious, self-perpetuating cycle. Let me share a couple of my favorite breathing techniques and then give you links to a couple of websites that give organized instructions for using acupressure along with incredibly detailed pictures and instructions for precisely locating the points to apply pressure on along the meridians.

    Dr. Andrew Weil recommends a pranayama technique that has you breathe in through your nose to a count of 4 seconds, hold the breath lightly for a count of 7 seconds..." to read more please click on the link below:-

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diMfFrjPyTo


    "I think entrainment is sort of like a "permanent pressed" shirt. It may have fewer wrinkles than an ordinary shirt but if you only wash it, throw it on a pile of clean laundry and then take it off the pile and put it on whenever you want to wear it you'll find it still has wrinkles, just not so many as a normal shirt. But if you were to iron it you would see that it becomes wrinkle-free much quicker and with less work than a typical shirt.

    That same seems to me to be true of entrainment. Just passively sitting and listening to it might be a little relaxing but it would be a much stronger tool if you were to listen to it while using some kind of technique(s) that are known to reduce stress and anxiety, like meditation or the breathing techniques I related earlier.

    If you were a person who had no particularly challenging health issues and you felt basically fine most of the time and were just looking for a little light relaxation, perhaps "just sitting" and listening would be enough to get the result you were looking for. But in your case you do have some challenges in the form of anxiety and panic issues so you will want to use the entrainment technology as a tool to augment your stress/anxiety reducing techniques. All alone just sitting and listening to an entrainment track probably won't deliver the relief you're searching for. But by using entrainment to enhance stress/anxiety reduction techniques you should get very substantial results.

    One thing I've learned from reading Michael's comments…" to read more please click on the link below :-

    http://www.project-meditation.org/community/meditation-chatter-box/1306-help-please-2.html

    If you decide to purchase LifeFlow you will have 2 options. One option is to puchase the complete C.D. box set which has a whole year full money back guarantee and option 2 is a monthly subscription for a digital download each month. The Customer support here is exceptional and often commented on. If you wish to cancel your subscription at any time, you can do so.

    I hope the above advice is helpful to you and wish you much peace and happiness :) :) :)
     

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