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Another Meditation Success Story

Discussion in 'Meditation Chatter Box' started by Montana Keith, Nov 9, 2008.

  1. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    A MEDITATION SUCCESS STORY:

    Hello friends,
    I have a story I'd like to share here. Today, November 9th, I experienced some aspects of my life—like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle—coming together into a more coherent picture. I believe that my meditative practice using LifeFlow technology has been instrumental in allowing me the space to have “eyes to see” and “ears to hear.” These last few weeks I have been paying more attention to my dreams. Following the wonderful example of Karen who posts her O.O.B. (out-of-body) dream experiences on this forum, I have been recording my dreams as soon as I wake up. I had a dream early this morning, and the overall feelings of this dream were ones of RUSHING and being TORN between choices.

    We have all had life experiences which have served as catalysts to bring us to this moment in our lives. The main catalyst that spurred me on in my own spiritual journey was the passing of my dad at age 86 of cancer in August 2002. This event has lead me to take action and do things that I never dreamed I would. For me one of the biggest of these actions has been choosing to no longer be active in the religion in which I was raised. This choice has not been without consequences and unexpected blessings.

    Like many of you who have shared some of your life experiences on this forum, I too have become aware of and have practiced and benefited from a number of different healing modalities these past several years. Some of these are:

    Hardiness training, focusing, kudalini awakenings, R.E.T. (Rapid-Eye-Therapy), EFT (emotional freedom touch), meditation, yoga, the Sedona Method, The Release Technique, cranial sacral therapy, massage therapy, psychotherapy, Jungian therapy, Hakomi work, WDM (Waking Down in Mutuality) process, MRT (muscle response testing), guided imagery, NLP (nero-linguistic programming), speak out feelings, role play, inner child work, charka balancing, visualization, guided imagery, etc., etc, etc..

    As I mentioned earlier, I choose to not be active in any organized religion at this time in my life. However, I am noticing that the stories from the Bible and those of my own religious tradition are speaking to me in different ways than they've ever done before. For example, while pondering on my experiences this day, my mind recalled the story from the Bible of Moses and the Children of Israel in the wilderness and of how the Lord provided sustenance for them in the form of miraculous manna from heaven. Here are the scriptures that refer to this event:

    “And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying, I have heard the murmurings of the children of Israel: speak unto them, saying, At even ye shall eat flesh, and in the morning ye shall be filled with bread; and ye shall know that I am the LORD your God. And it came to pass, that at even the quails came up, and covered the camp: and in the morning the dew lay round about the host. And when the dew that lay was gone up, behold, upon the face of the wilderness there lay a small round thing, as small as the hoar frost on the ground. And when the children of Israel saw it, they said one to another, It is manna: for they wist not what it was. And Moses said unto them, This is the bread which the LORD hath given you to eat. This is the thing which the LORD hath commanded, Gather of it every man according to his eating, an omer for every man, according to the number of your persons; take ye every man for them which are in his tents. And the children of Israel did so, and gathered, some more, some less. And when they did mete it with an omer, he that gathered much had nothing over, and he that gathered little had no lack; they gathered every man according to his eating. And Moses said, Let no man leave of it till the morning. Notwithstanding they hearkened not unto Moses; but some of them left of it until the morning, and it bred worms, and stank: and Moses was wroth with them.” (Exodus 16:11-20)

    This particular story from the Bible is so similar to my own feelings of being RUSHED and TORN. Like the Children of Israel, I have been blessed with “manna from heaven” in the form of new friendships being forged on this forum and of becoming aware of more and more and seemingly ever more healing modalities. And just like the Children of Israel, I have been falling into the trap of believing that I better get all I can right now because this may all melt away tomorrow like dew on a hot summer morning. So I have been “obsessing” about reading from and posting on this forum several times a day because I don't WANT all my friends here to think I don't care. A part of me has been afraid that you'll all just move along to more interesting people, and I'll be left behind. And I have not been grounded in my approach to just enjoying and savoring the healing modalities that I've become aware of. Rather, I've been like a child in a toyshop who starts to play with one toy but then notices some kids over there playing with something else and drops what I've been playing with and rushes over there so I won't miss out on anything. In brief, it is just like my dream of this morning. I've been feeling RUSHED and TORN.

    It is all reminds me of what I read in Hale Dwoskin's book The Sedona Method recently. Hale writes:

    “Inherent in all of us are nine emotional states: apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, pride, courageousness, acceptance, and peace.” (p. 77) [I}magine that courageousness, acceptance, and peace are buried under the other emotions. As you let go of your apathy, grief, fear, lust, anger, and pride, you'll be uncovering these higher energy emotions, which are the real you that has always been here. Your whole life will turn around as a result. Everything will get easier for you. (p. 79)

    LUST
    When we experience lust, we desire possession. We are WANTING. We hunger for money, power, sex, people places, and things, but without hesitation. We may or may not reach out. We have an underlying feeling that we cannot, or should not, have. Our bodies have a little more energy than in fear. It is still quite contracted, but the sensations now are sometimes quite pleasurable, especially compared to the previous three lower energy emotions, i.e., apathy, grief, fear. Feelings can be very intense. Our minds are a little less cluttered than in fear, but still very noisy and obsessive. We may try and medicate our pictures with positive fantasies, but underneath our pictures are really about what we do not have. Our thoughts are about what we need to get and what we don't have. No matter how much we do get, we never feel satisfied and rarely enjoy what we have. (p. 87)


    This realization that I've been coming from an emotion (energy in motion) of LUST has been a HUGE insight for me. With this awareness and with the space meditating is providing for me I am experiencing the potentiality of a new freedom of movement. Ah, wonderful! I wish you all success and joy in your own journeys. With love, --Keith :)
     
  2. Bhavya

    Bhavya Member

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    Keith, it's wonderful that you are gaining such clarity in your search for truth. I can relate to your experience of never having enough. I've heard people describe it as "the black hole inside the gut" and I can say that it's something I've struggled with. When is enough enough? Can the mind/emotional complex ever be satisfied?

    I've come to believe that we have to just sidestep that hungry maw and move into spirit - our essential, divine being. That is already full and joined to ALL in love and joy. I just wish I could feel it all of the time! One step at a time....

    Peace and love to you and yours
    Bhavya :)
     
  3. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    Keith,
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts on your path and some of your experiences. I came to my search much the way you did; by losing someone dear to me. I too, left my religion because they had no answers for me. As I look back on it now I see I was expecting too much from the people around me at that time. None of them had experienced life as I had up to that point and had no catalyst to search for answers to the pressing questions I so desperately wanted answered.
    I am beginning to realize the answers are within me . . . I believe they always have been. Many books and some ancient teachers have pointed the way but I have also had some pretty straight forward experiences that lead me to believe these ancient teachers were not barking up the wrong tree.
    I've learned not to judge events that happen because my mind judges things on a linear time table and I'm not sure we ACTUALLY exist on anything like a linear time table. In fact, I'm convinced that time, as I perceive it to be, is actually a rather ridiculous concept.
    A rather glaring example of this would be my feelings surrounding the death of my son and the torment I went through in the subsequent years following this event. I perceived myself to be in a great deal of pain over this experience and had decided that it was a bad experience. Pretty normal I'd say, after the loss of a child. BUT!! If I look at where I am at today, what I've learned, who I've met, the experiences I've had and not withholding the release just recently of some old feelings surrounding this event; I cannot judge this experience in the same way I did 15 linear years ago. I would not have the same relationship with myself nor those around me had I not had the experience of the loss of a child.
    So . . . was losing a son or daughter a bad thing? IIIIII'mmm not so sure! I've also learned to hold out judgment on other things since that time. With an open mind it is amazing what can transpire from any number of experiences.

    As an aside; organized religion failed to bring any of this to light!

    Blessings Brother,

    gus
     
  4. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Gus,
    Thanks for reading my post and responding. From what you've mentioned on other threads, it sounds like you're often traveling long distances and are away from home working. It sounds like you don't have a lot of free time. So, I appreciate you taking time to comment here.

    In another post, I read about your 12 year old daughter seeing the graphic of the spinning lady and her being able to discern it spinning in both directions. Truly our potentiality is limitless, and we are blessed to have children who show us this.

    It sounds like we come from similar religious traditions. My wife and I have been blessed with two beautiful children--a son age 24 and a daughter age 21. When they were younger I tried to do everything our religion prescribed in our home and in their upbringing. But "organized religion"--or at least the brand I tried to raise them in, just didn't take in either of their lives. Around 14-16 years, they both pretty much lost interest in church. Being my son was the oldest child, there was a time that I "loving" informed him that as long as he lived at home, he would go to church. At the time, I really thought I "knew" what was best for him. Needless to say, this type of energy did nothing to enhance our relationship at the time. Of course, this type of thinking that one "knows" what is best for others--whether our own children or infidels who don't know Jesus Christ--has been quite common throughout history.

    Ah life, isn't it all so wonderful and amazing AND when we pause and take a DEEP BREATH and listen to the silence, so dang FUNNY too!!! :D

    Anyway, you know me. I could go on and on. Like so many other people on this forum, we've never met in person, but I feel we are friends. I am grateful that I've met you here, and I look forward to meeting you in person. (I actually feel that a number of us who have met on this forum will be meeting in person soon.)

    I don't know if you're a Garrison Keillor fan, but I sure enjoy his dry sense of humor. Must come from my Scandinavian background. Anyway, I was listening to the last seven minutes of his November 3rd podcast this morning http://download.publicradio.org/podcast/nflw/2008/11/01/nflw_20081101_64.mp3
    and I just about split a gut laughing to his story of a sermon in the Lutheran church on Martin Luther's nailing of his 95 theses to the door of the Wittenberg church. Some how the word "theses" is misunderstood as "feces" and it all goes downhill from there. Anyway, it felt good to laugh. Take care, my friend. --Keith :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 11, 2008
  5. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Got space for another around this light?

    Hi Keith,

    I’ve been meaning for some time to reply to your post, I just haven’t been in the appropriate frame of mind. Your feeling regarding your father caught my eye, as did the sad yet powerful story of bashmaki coming to terms with his loss or trying to.

    It’s strange, my father and I aren’t close, the Sergeant Major and I butted heads for decades, over the past few years, he has softened, as have I, after my partner and I lost our boy, I did what he had taught me, according to what he believed to be the right thing at the time, I sucked it up, got on with it, put a lid on it and a rock on top of that just to be sure. Long story short, I walked back to camp one evening on a hunting trip he had arranged to have all his boys by his side, I got caught up in tall brush, couldn’t see anything, couldn’t get my bearings, it got dark and the hunter almost became the prey, a leopard I think. I managed to get back to camp chased by a territorial Ostrich male. On arrival back at camp, stressed and tired, he laid into me, I got a tongue lashing regarding my navigation skills etc, it ended up with confrontation which escalated to me threatening him.

    A well decades old filled with anger and resentment burst up to the surface, I wasn’t taking it anymore, it got to the point where I had to eject the rounds out of the Bolt action rifle as I was going to kill him, I was going to lay into him and he knew it, the rage I went into was incredible, I have never hated another human being that much before or since, despite being in ill health and twice my age, the old man stood his ground and encouraged me to “try my luck”, as per what his father had taught him, his body may be broken but the old man has the spirit of a Jack Russell terrier, I admire him for that.

    The 3 other brothers separated us, I went out into the dark to calm down, where he later found me, he sat next to me, really close, we’re not a “I love you” or hug family, just isn’t done, never was, so that was a little weird, he put his arm around me as best he could manage and asked me what was eating me, age magically gave him wisdom or made him realize that he always had it, either way, I told him what had happened out in the bush, he then asked me “what is really eating you”. I told him that I missed my boy, I wept, sobbed until I shook and he with me, that has never happened before, we just don’t do the emotions thing, he even said that he loved me and I him, we made peace that night. He admitted that he had wanted to talk to me about it but didn’t know how, that confrontation opened the door, allowed the elder to guide the younger. I have known him for 39 years, and that is the memory I will keep with me always, 2 Morgan boys dropping the BS of their upbringing (he had tried to teach me the hard way to prepare me for a hard world, he himself didn’t know any better, it was what he was taught), he helped me release a huge burden that night, as have you and those who have come to me since I stumbled out of the dark into this Forum.

    If you don’t mind Keith, I would like to come back here and sit around your fire, you have much to teach, God knows I have lots to learn?
    I have the Sedona book, it came into my life a couple of months before Project-Meditation did, I see the value but have questions, may I come back here sometime and ask you to help me figure it out?
     
    Last edited: Nov 13, 2008
  6. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Coenrad, my friend,
    Thanks for taking time to write and to share your story with your dad. Dang, that was one powerful and moving story. I was DEEPLY touched by it. I guess I’m in a bit of a pensive mood today. Reading of your anger in that moment, reminded me of an experience I recently had. I recently hung up a punching bag for my 24 year old son to take out his anger on. He recently had some incident that got him really pissed off. I was holding the bag as he punched it. And let me tell you, not only was he rocking the bag, but he was rocking me too. After about 10 minutes of heavy punching, he asked if I wanted him to hold it while I took a few swings. I said, “Sure.” However, my heart really wasn’t in it. I thought to myself, “My son has anger issues, but I don’t. I’ve already ‘processed’ all my issues.” Anyway, long story short, I started to half-heartedly punch, and then I felt something shift in me, and I was whaling away at that bag.” It really surprised me. I think I have some really deeply suppressed anger. Well, just another thing that’s coming up into my awareness through meditation that I can “welcome” and “let go.”

    You’re welcome to sit at my fire anytime. I’d be glad to share any insights I might have. And, I look forward to learning from you as well. This life is all pretty darn interesting. Sometimes, I’m just in awe of everything we all are experiencing. Take care. –Keith :)
     
  7. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    I had a similar experience like you told Keith...

    No wait, first things first.

    This thread is a tearjerker. Just thinking what it would mean for me to lose one of my kids is enough to wreck me, and here are 2 stories that pull my feet right from under me. I wish nobody would have to experience this kind of thing, even tho I know that life is life.
    My heart goes out to you guys, please accept my virtual "arm around the shoulder". Words can't describe my feelings, just feel my arm and manly hug for now.

    Back to topic:
    I experienced a strange fit of anger just yesterday evening.
    It came out of nowhere, and left just as soon. I was imagining ( there it is ladies and gentlemen, an entire book by Tolle wasted on me ) what people would be saying at the meeting I was driving to. I felt a deep urge to shut them up, and shouted angrily in my car towards these made up people. I shouted all kinds of things for about 40 seconds. Strangely enough, it felt like a huge load of the chest, it felt good to let it go, and I felt lighter and better than before. I was happy I had let this emotion out, and I observed the emotion ( maybe Tolle did teach me something after all ) only to find out it was gone. The raw agression that had surged up just popped out of my brain and was gone, and won't come back, as I could let it go.

    The rest of the ride I smiled, and I arrived at the meeting just as relaxed and happy as I usually am, only strangely more.. "awake" as if everything seemed to glisten, like all things were brand new.

    It feels like I did the right thing, the wrong way somehow.

    We have the tendency to label anger and agression as "bad".
    However, emotions are what come up from our subconcious, we can't control the feeling itself. We do have a choice about how to react to them tho, and looking at it from a distance makes you aware that basic feelings like anger and agression come from the oldest-first evolution kind of brain, and are oftan out of place in the situation you are in. They are however very powerfull, and if you allow them to take you over, feed your ego, you are in trouble.

    We read about this all the time in the newspapers, ordinary people who drive their car into the shop that just ticked them off, or who hit someone during a verbal fight so that the other person ends up in the hospital...

    This is bad, but the emotion behind it isn't, every emotion is what makes us human. The really hard part ( for me that is ) is to not try to push the emotion down again, or resist it, but to allow it to be, to observe it until it goes away... I hope I am still making sense...

    This success story is also turning into a very intensely interesting thread, just like Coenrad's
     
  8. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    "Just Some Random Thoughts"

    Edwin,
    Thanks so much for taking time to post. I always enjoy and gain so much from reading your posts. You're AWESOME, my friend!

    Here are some of my thoughts this morning:

    Good morning, Good afternoon, Good Evening, & Good Night: Friends, isn’t this a wonderful experience we’re all having being able to meet on this forum. I don’t pretend to understand all the technology that is making this possible. But, it truly is amazing, isn’t it! For example, I recently purchased an iPod Touch. For those of you who are more techno-savvy, you have to realize this is a big step for me. To give you an idea of where I’m coming from, I have to let you know that I still have a cassette player in my car and listen to “vinyls” on my phonograph in my home. One of my favorite things to do is to listen to old Christmas albums. I have a collection of about a hundred old vinyl Christmas albums. What can I say? I just love Christmas music! My wife and kids get quite the kick out of me. The rule in our home is: “Dad. No Christmas music until after Halloween and none after the first of the year.”

    Anyway, I digress. Back to my new iPod Touch. It’s amazing. It is only 4.3 x 0.3 x 2.4 inches, and it has something called “Wi-Fi capability.” I have no idea how this works. All I know is that I can wake up in the middle of the night, turn on my iPod, go to the Project Meditation Forum, and there you are my friends. Sometimes I notice that you’re actually online at the very time I’m reading your posts. Go ahead and try to explain how this happens with all the technological terms you like. I still say it’s truly amazing! I think the World Wide Web (WWW) is just a “form”—might I say an experiencing of—the “Divine Matrix” that connects us all.

    I think everything literally is right before our eyes if we only have “eyes to see” and “ears to hear.” It’s just that because of our unconsciousness, it temporarily isn’t in our awareness right now. Just because we don’t notice it, doesn’t mean it’s not there. The following example seems to be common with a lot of people. Have you ever noticed that when you buy a new car—actually in my case it has always been a used car—you start to notice other cars all over the place that are the same make and model as yours? Now, the “quantum theory” question is: “Were those cars always there, OR is it that your ‘awareness’ is bringing them into existence?” Now, don’t be too quick to answer. It’s that old question of: “If a tree falls in the woods, and there is no one to hear it, does it still make a sound?” Or the question of: “Is light a wave or particle?” Well, our current experience says it’s both—and might I add “more” too. You see, you as the “observer” are part of the equation. The very fact that you are “present” determines what you “perceive” and how you perceive this “what.” We each are more powerful creators than we ever dreamed!!!

    Anyway, just a sample of the random thoughts that our knocking around in my head at the moment. I don’t know if any of you have experienced this, but sometimes things are flowing so naturally and intimately here that I forgot that we are literally separated by thousands of miles of space. I don’t know if this makes sense. I remember that I’m separated from each of you. However, sometimes I forget that you are all separated from each other too. For example, from what I’ve read here I feel there’s a real connection between Edwin and Coenrad or between Chris and Pollyanna, AND between so many of us others too. After the internet is turned off, there is a part of me that feels that it would be natural as anything—no not that it would be possible. More that “somewhere” it is actually occurring—that Edwin and Coenrad are meeting to “swap some lies” over a pint at some local pub. Or that Chris and Pollyanna are meeting in Pollyanna’s bright kitchen to chat over a friendly cup of tea. Heck, I don’t even know what I’m saying. I know what I’m trying to say, but dang, it’s hard to get the “feeling” in words. I hope some of you can listen to the “space” between all these words to get the essence of what I’m trying to say.

    Since meditating regularly, I’m starting to be able to notice more things that are coming into my awareness with more of a sense of “curiosity & detachment.” Over the last couple of months, I’ve been following “karen659’s” thread of her dreams and out-of-body experiences. (See her thread: “Out of Body Travel”) I’ve started to notice my own dreams more. It has taken some real intention and work AND some sacrifice of sleep, but over the last few weeks I’ve been rolling over in bed and turning on the lamp next to my bed and recording what I remember of my dreams as soon as I wake up. Often, there is a part of me that just wants to roll over and go back to sleep. But apparently, there is something else that’s driving me to “wake up” and “remember” what’s coming into my awareness. Again, I think we are all getting messages all the time if we only keep our sense of humor—more and more I’m finding that a good sense of humor and not taking myself and my drama so seriously, is as essential as all the philosophizing in the world—and have “eyes to see” and “ears to hear.” Some of my current progress in becoming aware in my dreams is that I’m starting to “wake up” within the dream itself. I guess this phenomenon is called “lucid dreaming.” To me, it is just another step in the process of remaining conscious.

    I fully admit that I don’t know what happens after we physically die, but my gut feeling is that we continue on. I think as consciousness itself, we continue to evolve. What form, or forms, this may be as, I don’t pretend to know. However, I think the “essence” of who we are continues through all our incarnations and just continues to be added upon as we become more and more “real” and substantial. I think there are “beings” that watch over and protect each of us—who teach and guide us with love and wisdom. According to your own religious and spiritual background, call these more consciously evolved beings: “friends,” “teachers,” “guardian angels,” “spirit guides,” “spirits of the ancestors,” or whatever you like. In any and all cases, it just makes sense to me. Early this morning, I had a dream I’ll share in my next post which to me has the “feel” that I’m getting closer to meeting some of my “spirit guides.”
     
  9. Coenrad Morgan

    Coenrad Morgan Member

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    Keith's Gym

    Hi Edwin,

    I didn’t get to be father, others did then faced the loss, I was lucky, I guess, besides, I don’t know if I would have been any good at it, my flat mates 2 year old is killing me.

    I don’t know what it is with males and acting out on aggression, but I know its not necessary, I know that it’s a dysfunction and I know that its natural but in the modern world, the animal nature needs be managed as much for our sanity and those around us. It is triggered as in my case by totally unrelated events.

    “What goes on inside your head? Anything normal function?- Yeah a few, a few. - I don’t think so because to fight a creature like this you’ve got to have about a hundred pounds of brain damage.” – Rocky 3

    Keith’s idea to hang a punch bag is a stroke of genius, - I can almost see him training his son – “im goin to teach you to eat lightning and crap thunder” I’ve even seen them in offices where employees can go and let off steam, in the Parachute regiment here there is a tradition, if you have an issue with anyone, step into the ring and sort it out, when your done, life goes on. For me Ju-Jitsu was my way out, getting physical in a controlled environment seems to be a healthy outlet for both body and mind, sadly I had to give it up due to financial issues.

    Self development is very touchy, feely, or getting in touch with our feelings and I’ve been avoiding that for a long time, 39 years…..boy’s don’t cry. So am I on the deep end here, yes, but Keith is in touch with his feelings and we know that he can lay into a punch bag, so I guess I’m in the right place, with the right trainer?

    “Apollo: can he swim? Paulie: with a name like Rock?” – Rocky

    I have been thinking about coincidences and how they seem to form a coherent path leading to here, I picked up the Sedona Method book some time ago, I loved it but didn’t quite know how to approach it, I saw Keith’s post and recognized the releasing, he had used it successfully, I cant right now so here I am.
    Self improvement is probably the most difficult thing to do, I don’t like change but if I don’t I get to deal with the way it is and more of that is-ness in the years to come. I have had to become disciplined regarding the practice now I need to deal with what meditation brings to the surface to be released, I’m thrilled that Keith decided to post a thread but know that I have to do the work.

    Keith, can I stop doing sit-ups now….?“for a 45 minute fight, you gotta train hard for 45000 minutes, 45000! That’s ten weeks, that’s ten hours a day ya listenin’? and you ain’t even trained one! What the hell are you waitin’for, what are you waitin’ for?” – Rocky….guess not.

    “there’s one thing i want you to do for me…come here…win, win!” Rocky – YES MICHAEL!!

    Sorry Edwin, got to go, before Keith gives me more push-ups to do.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2008
  10. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    "My Latest Dream"

    Keith’s dream of Friday, November 14, 2008 (recorded upon waking at 0614 AM):

    Context: I awoke at 0358 AM, and got up and went to the bathroom. Back in bed, I turned on my iPod Touch and checked for posts on the Project Meditation Forum. I then went to my email account at work and read some of my students’ journal entries for the “Hardiness” class they’re taking from me. Before falling back to sleep, I repeated from memory both the Monroe Institute “Gateway Affirmation” and my good friend, author, and consciousness explorer, Stewart Edward White’s “Affirmation.” I then repeated my own “Personal Creed” from memory. Here are both affirmations:

    The Gateway Affirmation
    I am more than my physical body. Because I am more than physical matter, I can perceive that which is greater than the physical world. Therefore, I deeply desire to Expand, to Experience; to Know, to Understand; to Control, to Use such greater energies and energy systems as may be beneficial and constructive to me and to those who follow me. Also, I deeply desire the help and cooperation, the assistance, the understanding of you, my friends, whose wisdom, development and experience are equal or greater than my own. I ask your guidance and protection from any influence or any source that might provide me with less than my stated desires.

    Stewart Edward White’s Affirmation
    Friends, whatever I have of capacity and power to attract and pass on from the Source, I wish you to have and to use in whatever way is in the best interests of the work we are doing. It is for you only, and no other need apply.

    And then, I fell back to sleep and started to dream . . . I kept slipping back and forth in that “bridge world” that exists between dreams and wakefulness . . .

    I find myself back in Montana near our small 22 acre farm in Sun River Valley where I grew up. The light is dark. It feels like it’s towards evening. There’s not a lot of clarity right now. It’s kind of like being in a subdued or gray toned watercolor painting—a painting where the colors are all running together into one another.

    I get the feeling that I want to go somewhere. I decide to take a short jaunt—“short” jaunt. Hah, hah, hah! It’s over 16 miles—up the valley and on the bench to the town of Fairfield. I begin running. It feels so good to be able to run so fast, to run so freely and easily. In a few moments, I find myself on the outskirts of the small farming community town of Fairfield. I enter on the east side of town like I use to when I was a kid and before they put in that new road that brings you around to enter on the west side of town. I notice the old “Meyer’s Ditch Company” to my left and the “7 to 11” store on my right. In my dream, there’s a “round-about” here now. I wait for an old fashioned trolley to pass, and then I dart across the street.

    I remember that my older sister, Terry, lives with her husband just a mile or so on the outskirts of Fairfield. I think: “Oh, wouldn’t it be fun if I just surprise her by dropping by her place unexpectedly and saying, ‘Hi sis! I was just in the area. Thought I’d drop by and say, “Hello.”

    I look down and notice that I have no shoes on—just some old thick woolen socks—and that I’m only wearing long-john tops and bottoms and a zip-up hooded sweat shirt. I also notice that I have my wallet with me. The thought comes into my mind that I better get some shoes and pants before I go and see my sister Terry.

    I remember that there’s a thrift store in Fairfield. I head up town to go there. I can’t find the front entrance, so I enter in at a backdoor. I can tell that this isn’t the right way into the shop. I notice a sheet of ragged black plastic hanging down in front of me like a veil or curtain. I can hear a couple of ladies in the back of the thrift shop visiting. It feels like they are the “owners” or “keepers” of this shop. I call out, “Excuse me, but how do I get to the front of this shop?”

    They kindly and patiently give directions:

    “Go left, then right, then down some stairs.”


    I go back out the way I came. I go left, then right, open a door and go down these old broken and dilapidated wooden stairs. They’re completely covered in this huge pile of shifting and sliding sand and debris. The area I’m descending into seems to be some junky garage type area. I notice an old yellow truck used for potato harvesting and sorting, some old car axels, some old rusted metal milk crates, some old boards over the tops of 50 gallon drums, and other assorted pieces of typical old garage junk. Once at the bottom, I hear some children playing. I walk over to what seems to be the back entry to some kind of child care center.

    I realize that I must be lost again because this can’t be the right way into the thrift shop. So, I start to climb back out. The sand and debris keeps sifting out from under my feet with each labored step upward. At last, I’m almost out and back to the top landing again. I call out—actually it’s more like I “think” out: “Hey, I’m lost again. How about a little help here?”

    I get a “sending” from the “ladies” in the thrift shop upstairs. They send this: “smiling, kindly, patient, ‘my you are entertaining’-type message”—kind of like the message a loving parent or older sibling would give to their clumsy—but highly entertaining—younger son, or younger brother, that they are particularly fond of.

    “Hang in there. We’re sending someone down to get you.”

    I keep struggling upward. To my right, I notice some wooden and concrete staircase remnants. I reach my right foot over there, get a bit of a firm footing, and push up.

    A “guy” walks in from above. He reaches a hand down towards me. I push off with my right foot as the pile of sand shifts and slides out from under me, and reach upward to grab his extended hand.

    I wake up and record this dream. It feels really significant and rich in symbolism for me. It was a very pleasant and interesting dream. It kind of feels like the “two ladies” who were the “keepers” of the thrift shop and the “guy” who reached down his hand to help me up were more advanced spiritual beings who might have been some of my “spirit guides.” As Karen always says, “I welcome any impressions or insights any of you would like to share.
     
    Last edited: Nov 14, 2008
  11. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    Edwin,
    Rejoice; for it has brought us where we are today. Some of us need hit with a bigger club than others. It is still just a club.

    gus
     
  12. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    Keith,
    The recollection of that dream is awsome. I almost feel like I could have been there.
    gus
     
  13. bashmaki

    bashmaki Member

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    Coenrad,
    I bought the Sedona Method book a while back. I got as far as where Hale say's to list a bunch of events and the feelings these events bring to light and then systematically start release work on the whole schmere.
    Well, I've been doing releasing on releasing ever since. Man have I worked up an aversion to THAT process. I did buy a pad the other day to use exclusively for the Sedona work. I still can't believe how much I don't want to do it though. What really kills me is how it has begun to affect my daily life. This is obviously something that can not be laid aside much longer. Got what I've read in the Sedona book nagging at me plus listening to that dern LF#7 CD. I think it's sink or swim time.

    gus
     
  14. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    "Thoughts for Today"

    Hello friends,
    I choose to take time to write this here to “remind” myself, AND I also write in the hope that others out there might be able to “loosen up” and “let go” of some stuck places in there own lives through the experience of reading these words. Anyway, here goes:

    Well, as I mentioned in Pollyanna’s new http://www.project-meditation.org/community/project-meditation-success-stories/1181-lf-just-keeps-working.html thread, I am noticing some things coming into my awareness. In my case, one of the “guests” I’m noticing is “anger.” I use the word “guest” based upon this poem by Rumi:

    The Guest House
    This being human is a guest house.
    Every morning a new arrival.

    A joy, a depression, a meanness,
    some momentary awareness comes
    as an unexpected visitor.

    Welcome and entertain them all!
    Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
    who violently sweep your house
    empty of its furniture,
    still, treat each guest honorably.
    He may be clearing you out
    for some new delight.

    The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
    meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
    Be grateful for whatever comes.
    because each has been sent
    as a guide from beyond.


    -- Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)
    translation by Coleman Barks

    There are many techniques and programs out there that can bless our lives. One that came into my awareness a number of years ago was focusing. The Focusing Institute The “founder” of focusing is Gene Gendlin. In reflecting on the above poem and how “focusing” is currently being used in Afghanistan, he recently wrote:

    “In Focusing instruction, the villagers learn that they ARE the guest house. I had long thought that I am the host, greeting the guests. But no, I'm the house! I find that this makes a great difference which I cannot yet explicate and explain.”
    (Gene Gendlin in an email to the Focusing Community on 2/23/2008)

    Hmmm, so I am NOT the “host.” I am the “guesthouse.” How very interesting! I have to admit that more often than not, I identify “me” as the “host” of this crazy “guesthouse.” I identify as the person who is trying to keep this whole crazy party together. I have fallen into the trap of believing I’m the “Martha” host.

    Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word. But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:38-42)

    At times I get so “cumbered about much serving,” that I fail to notice the “Christ-within” is always present with me. And the whole idea, that I might be this “space,” this “guesthouse,” this “Christ-within” just about blows my mind away.

    Reflecting upon what I’m learning from “The Sedona Method,” Sedona Method (official site) The Secret self-help program; self-improvement technique I find myself repeating:

    Keith, is “this” coming from a place of WANTING: approval, control, security, separation, or oneness. And I have to reply: “It’s coming from a place of WANTING control.” It’s coming from a place of believing if I don’t have this control then the “i” I’ve identified as “me” will die. And this “i” is feeling really afraid and vulnerable right now. In reading Eckhart Tolle’s books, the “host” part of me is recognizing this “i” as the “egoic self.”

    The following words from Stewart Edward White’s book Across the Unknown http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks05/0500091.txt seem to me to be some really sound advice and to add an air of lightness to this whole process of working with our “lower selves.”

    INVISIBLE: You have certain traits which prevent your winning through to spiritual ease, and which you'll have all your present span of life. They are more than individual--they are racial. The more you attempt to thrash them, the more nerve strain there will be. But the less you combat them at all, the stronger they'll get. Therefore the only thing to do is to find a way around them by strategy. Granting that there is an expansive method which will in time overcome everything, still it is sometimes better to begin with more intimate methods.

    One way is to regard the combat as something in the nature of a humorous private sport. You have no enmity toward the traits you are opposing, only a determination to prove your mettle. This technique gives a certain flexibility in turning from one consciousness to the other, and evades the tensions which come from unnatural spiritual straining.

    (pause)

    BETTY: I didn't know how to go about it, so I made a friendly antagonist of my lower self, as one does in sports--in tennis, for instance—an antagonist one would be friendly with in other moments. For the time being he merely furnishes a conflict necessary to the developing of one's power. He becomes a kind of effigy. Sometimes he is getting cross at the telephone, sometimes he is persuading me to hustle and not take time to breathe calmly and be relaxed of tensions, sometimes he is making me eat stupid things. It is far more amusing than being that self.

    INVISIBLE: All the usual methods of controlling oneself have a lack of grace and humor and amusement which desiccates their lifeblood. Therefore, to explain in commonplace fashion a method of approaching one's inner security, this harmonious and gracious stability, we offer the example of a game with one's friendly antagonist, ones 'lower self.' It is perhaps a misnomer to use the term 'friendly.' The friendliness is on the side of your higher self, for the lower is quite inferior in the type of his sportsmanship. He is quite inclined to malice toward his aristocracy!

    BETTY: The trick is in contemplating one's lower self as one stops to train and play with a puppy. I don't know why lower selves should always be considered vicious. Actually they have very engaging qualities. They are just uneducated.

    INVISIBLE: In this phase of development, as in all others, one must pass through the tinhorn-rattle-whistle stage of children playing games. One has to pass through it composedly, giving a due and proper comprehension of the necessity for games at all ages. In time you will find yourself able to lay aside your symbols and seek your goal direct, but do not rush prematurely into abstractions. The games and toys of children are among their best means of learning. Grownups do not play with toys; but taking away a child's toys does not make a grownup.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2008
  15. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Reporting In

    Well, this is Keith reporting in. I continue to read the new posts in the various threads in this forum. Often, I just don't have the time to respond like I'd like.

    Concerning my current meditation experiences, I've been having a bit of a rough time this last week or so. "Stuff" has been "loosening" up and coming into my awareness. It feels like it might be some deeply suppressed anger and sadness. I'm continuing to hang in there and do the best I can. Some of the "stuff" that has been coming up has been "locking" into various areas of my back. I have a really insightful massage therapist that I visit once a month. I had a massage from her this afternoon after work. While working on my back, she asked, "Do you dance?"

    I replied, "In my younger days I quite enjoyed discoing. However, for the last 30 or so years I really haven't done much dancing. I have become really self-conscious about how I look when I try to move to music."

    My massage therapist is really intuitive and to this she replied, "I just get the feeling that you should look into African dancing. I think it would really help to get some of those 'stuck' places moving again."

    So, I plan to find a video and some music and give it a try some early morning when I have some time to myself. I guess I share this here because I believe that it is so important that we each just keep our hearts open to what works for us. I also think that what may work best for us may not always be what we expected or thought we needed. We just need to always remember that we are each deeply loved and cherished.

    I wish all of you peace and joy this moment. Thoughtfully, --Keith :)
     
  16. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Just a small addition:

    Yesterday evening I went to bed early hoping to fall asleep soon, after having done my meditation.
    I felt uneasy because of the financial pressure I feel at this time.

    I decided to take my mind off it by picking up "the power of Now" when I noticed I had left a post-it memo as a reminder where to start reading again. I had finished the book about a month ago, but since the book opened there, I started reading there.

    I only had to read about 10 sentences. It was about forgiving yourself.

    The question was something like:
    I have tried meditations, been to retraits, took courses, and still I don't quite grasp it, I know what you mean but I can't quite reach it ( it being the power of Now ).

    Answer:
    You are still trying to find it outside of yourself. Peace can only come from within. Don't blame yourself for not finding peace, forgive yourself for it.
    When you forgive yourself, you surrender to it, and surrendering is the only way to find peace, you can't force it upon yourself by willpower.

    So, I forgave myself for feeling anxiety from financial troubles....

    WOW !!!!

    instant peace !

    I woke up without fear this morning, and if I felt I needed to make a strategy for something, I did it without fear as my counselor.

    Had to share because it feels a bit like "welcoming all feelings in your home"
     
  17. chris063

    chris063 Member

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    I keep seeing the word 'surrender' cropping up today...'surrender is the only way to find peace'... something I realised a few days ago, when the going gets really tough and you need some respite, I discovered that mentally offering yourself up to spirit, god, the universe, whatever you feel is there behind everything, allowing and trusting totally that it will look after you, immediately brings a sense of relief, of peace, of no more need to struggle, and you can then just mentally allow everything else to fall away...and surrender.

    Well it works for me anyway :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 28, 2008
  18. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    Thank You

    Dear Chris & Edwin,
    Thank you so much for both of your comments here. Chris, I am struck with how similar your's and Mitch's comments in his latest thread on "surrender" are so similar. It seems to me that you were both tapping into so vital truth at about the same time. I wish both of you, and whoever is reading this post at this moment, peace this day. Take care. --Keith :)
     
  19. Edwin

    Edwin Member

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    Just wanted to leave a small message that I really appreciate all you are doing for this forum.

    You are a trooper !

    Everybody: It's officially "Hug Keith day" today :)

    Here's one from me: Hug !

    ( Mind you, I can't hug without doing the "I am a man and feel uncomfortable with hugging a guy so I have to tap your back while doing it " )

    taptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptaptap
     
  20. Montana Keith

    Montana Keith Member

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    "A Dream"

    Hey Edwin,
    You're the best. You crack me up. Thanks for the "manly hug." My brother is big into EFT. I can just hear him as he's "tapping" away:

    "Even though I feel strange hugging a man, I love and accept myself."

    Well, here's my latest dream experience. I wish each of you who are reading this post this moment peace and FUN today. Take care. --Keith :)

    Keith’s Dream of Friday Morning, Nov 28, 2008:

    Brief Background: Both collective and individual awareness is shifting.

    “But many that are first shall be last; and the last first.” (Mark 10:31)

    “And have ye not read this scripture; The stone which the builders rejected is become the head of the corner:” (Mark 12:10)

    Growing up, one of the “things” that I was taught to discount was the black race—Negroes is what we called them at the time. From my most significant role models—parents, older siblings, aunts & uncles, and religious leaders—I learned that blacks were less than me. I heard jokes told by relatives:

    “So, there were these two niggers hitch-hiking. One was named ‘Rufus’ and the other was called ‘Leroy.’ . . .”

    From my mom, I heard:

    “Oh Keith, don’t put that money in your mouth. Some dirty nigger might have peed on it.”

    From my dad and older brother when skipping rocks on Christensen’s pond:

    “Okay Keith, find a really flat rock and throw it sideways way up in the air. When it comes down into the water, it’ll make a wonderful ‘thwunk’ sound. That’s what we call ‘slitting the nigger’s throat.’”

    From my church leaders:

    “Well you see, the blacks have the ‘curse of Cain’ on them. In the pre-existence, they sat on the fence and were not valiant for Christ’s plan. That’s why they are cursed here. That’s why blacks aren’t allowed to hold the priesthood. . .”

    And on and on, these were the types of messages I heard growing up. Blacks were less. They were not as valiant or intelligent. They deserved their miserable positions. We should be kind and tolerant of these “misguided children.” But, we should never stoop to associate with them very much. Let them have their own “separate but equal” schools and neighborhoods.

    The Shift Manifesting:

    ●November 2008: Barrack Obama—father black, mother white—is elected as the first “black president” of the United States.

    ●Wednesday, November 26, 2008: “Angel,” a 19 year old LDS black girl who works for our TRIO SSS Office as a tutor, stops by my office and asks if I have a few minutes to help her with her sociology paper. These few minutes turn into a wonderful hour and a half conversation. I am blown away by her wisdom, her insight, her courage, and her beauty. She intuitively grasps things which I am just starting to understand.

    ●Wednesday, November 26, 2008: I leave work at 0315 PM for a 0330 PM massage and chiropractic treatment. While giving me my half hour massage, Kathryn, the massage therapist, asks: “Do you dance?”

    Keith: “I use to dance when I was younger, but I’ve become really self-conscious about how I look when I try to move to music.”

    Kathryn: “Well, I just get the impression that you should look into African Dance and start dancing to it. I think it would really help you to release and let go of some of the emotions that are coming into your awareness now.”

    ●Thursday, November 27, 2008: After Thanksgiving dinner at our friends the Hallbergs’, I’m looking up more about African Dance on the internet. I find a reference to “African Healing Dance” on YouTube. (YouTube - African Healing Dance with Wyoma) I watch this instructional video. This is all new to me. A part of me is skeptical. Another part is feeling such hope at the possibilities of “letting go” and being free.

    My Dream: I’m with a group of black people. They’ve been doing African Healing Dance. I’ve been kind of watching from the sidelines, trying to stay unnoticed as I observe. They gather and start to sing. The music is haunting. It’s familiar. It is soul-stirring. It feels so “soul deep” and “worshipful.” I see an older black woman’s old and deeply lined face as she looks at me. Here eyes hold a child-like amusement, a heartfelt joy, as they invite me to join the group in singing: “Holy Holy Holy. (YouTube - Mahalia Jackson - Holy, holy, holy!)”
     

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