I won a free subscription

[kevinmmcnamara]

Hello everyone I won a free meditation lifeflow series of cd's and am very excited because finacial worries have been swept away. I am having a little trouble with anger. My life has been so great lately and things are improving for me and I am loving life and all the possibility's that are so clear for me at this time in my life. I have been useing my 1st tape No10 for almost a month and this last week with all the $$$ money troubles I went a little postal at the bank over a fee of 78 dollars that could have easily been avoided but the bank chose to rearraige the numbers in their favor!
is this anger legitamite for this time in the series I am working on or do you think it is just a coincidense? I need some feed back please
Kevin:

[Edwin]

Hi Kevin !

Congratulations with your free subscribtion !

I don't think you can relate your anger directly towards LifeFlow, however it might be caused by meditation, I will get back to that in a minute.

First of all:
I don't know if you are familiar with Eckhart Tolle's work " The power of Now ", but he explains certain things about the "thinking disease" that us westerners have.
He states the following:

Because we are used to think all the time, we have thought up a false image of "self" which can be described as ego.
This "ego" is constantly fed by your thoughts and emotions, and the only way to become free of your ego is to become free of thoughts and our false sense of time ( i.e. we are so constantly busy with thinking about either the past or the future that we either forget about the actual moment we live in, the Now, or only consider the Now as a "means of getting to the future" )
Your anger is a direct result of your ego/false self feeling attacked. Your getting angry over a relatively low amount of money proves this, your ego felt attacked by the bank, and needed to re-instate it's sense of worth.

The real you is hidden underneath all your thoughts and emotions.
One of the ways to overcome this, is to meditate.

Most people who start meditating very soon get a glimpse of their real self, which can be recognised as a deep sense of relaxation, happiness and being connected to something higher. Usually, this just happens for a moment, and when you start thinking about what is happening to you, you kill the feeling ( thinking does that, in time you will learn how to feel like that all the time ).

Since you want to feel this again, you might be tempted to over-meditate.

Over-meditation is simply spending too much time a day meditating all of the sudden, as you might never have meditated a month or so before.
This will cause a number of emotions and/or memories to be released too soon, causing sudden outbursts of anger, crying or even emotional numbness.
This is temporary, and it will pass, but my advice is to keep it at one meditation a day, for no more than 20-30 minutes at a time until the emotional outbursts disappear. Then you can slowly make the meditation time longer.

I recommend you also either read the book " the Quiet " by Paul Wilson, or " The power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.

[Montana Keith]

Hi Kevin,
Welcome to the Project Meditation forum. Here you will find support and insight from some of the kindest, most knowledgeable, and funny people you've ever met. Just keep your heart open with a sense of curiosity and gratitude for the things that are showing up in your life and for the "forms" in which they may appear. There are so many wonderful books, practices, techniques, etc., that are available to assist us all in awakening and remembering. One of the practices that came into my awareness a number of years ago is "focusing." (In case you might be interested, here is the website: The Focusing Institute) A poem that kind of sums of the focusing process was written hundred of years ago by the mystic Rumi.)

"The Guest House"

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

-- Jelaluddin Rumi (1207-1273)
translation by Coleman Barks

Concerning the anger you are noticing, I suggest that you might try simply welcoming it in to your "guesthouse," your presence. Don't label it as "good" or "bad." Just simply notice it. You might say, with a sense of curiosity, "Oh, so I notice anger. Hmmm. It feels kind of like a red clenching in my stomach. Isn't that interesting. I wonder if this 'guest' might have more of a message for me."

The process I am describing is one of "space" or "presence." Meditation is an excellent means of increasing "space" in our lives. If you are brand new to the meditation process, I suggest that you be gentle with your self, establish a regular time to meditate every day, and don't be harsh on yourself if you miss a day or don't meditate for as long as you "think" you ought to. It is my understanding that it is not uncommon to notice a lot of "stuff" coming up. You are becoming more aware and are noticing what has always been there. We need to notice, to welcome and accept, what is there before we can release it.

One other thought that has been suggested by Michael is The Sedona Method (Sedona Method (official site) The Secret self-help program; self-improvement technique) for working with some of the "stuff" we may start to notice as we meditate. I have purchased this program, and it is proving really beneficial.

Anyway, these are just some of my thoughts and suggestions. I'll be curious to hear how things continue to unfold for you and to hear of the "gifts" you are receiving that are working for you. Happy journeying. --Keith

[Edwin]

Great analogy Keith !

I like the way you describe "welcoming an emotion in your guesthouse" !

learned something again today

[bashmaki]

That is so cool Kevin. I can't think of anything better one could win.
Keith, That is a wonderful explanation for a way to look at these issues that well up within our thinking mind. Excellent.

gus