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Old April 4th, 2011, 19:14   #1 (permalink)
chris-da-fur (Offline)
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Default what's the point?

So I have been struggling lately, hopefully someone can help clarify some stuff for me:

I don't seem to be too interested in doing anything. As in, there's a fundamental lack of incentive or desire to do stuff. Anything from socializing, making friends, to finding a girlfriend to furthering my career, moving further into my inner silence, nada. It's really taking a toll on me and I feel really useless, cut off and unable to move forward in anything. I think part of the problem is I can see the futility of going after some goal or trying to get somewhere or change something, it all just seems kind of...pointless. Sounds like im in full blown apathy but it doesn't feel that way.


so I guess it just feels like I'm in a void, no real desire to move within or externally in the world, although the idea of acquiring things, success, great social life, is more attractive to me than anything else but it's more old habits than anything that don't produce much outward action. What's a guy to do? I can't seem to put my finger or what I want out of life, so I have no direction, but that doesn't make me happy so it's like a loop track of misery

Any insight is appreciated because I'm pretty lost here...
 
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Old April 4th, 2011, 20:32   #2 (permalink)
MetaCognition (Offline)
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I can say that I can relate to this post, as many in times in the past, I have wondered too what the "point is." What I honestly do now is I create my point of being, since there is no "point" that the human mind can fathom anyway.

You can look at the life of a human as being a video game. Except, instead of just being Mario you can be the character (in your physical form), the other characters (by interacting with them and bringing awareness into each discussion), the video game itself (your actions have the ability to change the way we live in this world), and the guy playing the game on his couch (eternal spirit, God, consciousness, etc). When you identify yourself as being all of these things, life becomes a lot more interesting since "you" are affected on each and every level. Whether there is a "bigger point" or not seems to become a seconday question, one that is never forgotten, but it is pushed aside to allow life to take place.

I made a post a few months back about "losing interest in success." The idea of chasing after a career, working my ass off at some job I didn't like just to deaden my existence didn't (and doesn't) appeal to me. But the idea of "success" is just that, an idea, and so is the idea of there being a point to care about or not care about. It has no validity or control over you unless you decide that it is "real."

Perhaps life is just an illusion, perhaps there is no great point, perhaps nothing "matters." I don't truly believe any of those things, not because my logical mind doesn't have doubts, but because I firmly believe that my perception is inherently limited, and therefore I just can't make any claims with absolute certainty. Life might be an illusion, but it seems to be pretty real, and god damn if it isn't fun once you start really playing while knowing that in the end, it's "only a game" if you will.

The human form is temporary, why not enjoy the process while it's happening?
 
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Old April 4th, 2011, 20:53   #3 (permalink)
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Sounds like a typical depression. I had this several times in my life, and probably will lol

What me helped, was to back off from things, do sports and watch my alimentation. There are several other approaches, like taking time to actively watch your thoughts and whats happening in your body, or to just actively love yourself the way you are. No resistance, just love the fact that you are at the moment like you are.

One of these things should hopefully help

Atb,
Phil
 
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Old April 4th, 2011, 21:31   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Chris,

I thought I’d throw in a bit of food for thought. Reading your post it seems like your mind is setting goals but you’re not ready to pursue them. The response of your mind is to club you over your head with guilt, concern, worry about the past (what I should have done) and the future (what I should be doing). As Pan mentions, maybe just sit and watch your mind for a while and you’ll be able to see it thrashing about.

What I don’t pick from your post is any immediate reason to be worried, concerned or feel bad. If this is the case the only thing that is causing you grief is your mind. If you sit where you are now, without your mind pushing you into the future or past, how do you feel? My guess would be fairly peaceful. I find myself sometimes getting caught up in things like this, but when I watch the thoughts etc it becomes more apparent that I am buying into the kicking my monkey mind is dishing out, in reality there is no issue.

So my response to your question, “what’s a guy to do?” Would be, “Chill out and have a relaxed look around (within yourself and also outside at the World) and see where you think you might like to go, if it takes your fancy follow the path if not wait for something else”.

Also things can be achieved in small steps, so for example rather than let you mind make you feel bad for not currently being Mr Social, why not just decide to smile at one person you don’t know each time your out and about – changing your behaviour in a small, but still positive way.

Regards, Paul

Last edited by Mr Monkey : April 4th, 2011 at 21:53.
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 00:26   #5 (permalink)
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Thanks for the replies! After reading them I realize it all really is the mind, I'm actually laughing about it now, total 360 from this morning

yeah I mean it's like there are so many directions to go in, I should do this, or maybe this, why haven't I done this, that I end up stuck in a not so pleasant place not doing anything and feeling down about it. Weird.

I think your right Paul, my mind/thoughts have gotten away from me and are running the show. No wonder life has been such a frekkin' roller-coaster lately...

So if I feel like there isn't any point in doing something, or this is going poorly, or why bother doing this, that's all really only thought, and only has the power that I give it, it in of itself doesn't really exist...?
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 00:37   #6 (permalink)
Edwin (Offline)
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Originally Posted by chris-da-fur View Post
I think part of the problem is I can see the futility of going after some goal or trying to get somewhere or change something, it all just seems kind of...pointless. Sounds like im in full blown apathy but it doesn't feel that way.
All very good advice from you guys !

MetaC is right. There is no goal to life. Trying to find the point to it all is useless, as the point of it all is living it !
Don't waste time trying to find the point in the future.

When doing that you look as silly as a guy trying to find his spectacles while he has them on his nose.
There is an important difference between setting a goal, and thinking that the goal you set for yourself is the goal of life.
I have seen similar posts from you where you discuss how you think that going into the rat-race seems useless, why bother studying, bla bla bla.

Ok, so here is some good sturdy advice for you:

Don't !@#$% waste your one opportunity to live your life !!!!!
The way you are supposed to live it, is to live it in the Now, NO MATTER WHAT YOU ARE DOING !
Stop pretending that you understand the point of the future, you could be dead tomorrow, why should that matter to you now ?

The point of living in the Now is to experience intensely what you are doing NOW. And the only way to do that is to stop directing your attention away from the single moment that you actually exist, by thinking of an imaginary future, or a memory that can't be changed.
So, if you are studying, study intensely. Like Abraham Lincoln said " Whatever you are going to be, be the best ".
The best carpenter, the best mason, the best car salesman, the best toilet-cleaner, or if you decide to study, the best... well whatever.

Why do you think that they invented the mindfulness way of living ? It's the same thing !
You have no idea how intense life gets if you start living like this. Stop killing time, that is just a really really slow way to commit suicide, and a waste of precious time ( not that time actually exists, all there is is the Now that you are not concentrating on ).

Get your act together !

Oh, and you mentioned feeling like you were in a void... But in fact, you ARE the void. But you aren't ready for that yet.

And sorry for being so firm with you. You seemed to need it.
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 01:41   #7 (permalink)
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Hi Chris,

When I hear the black dog barking at the door, I have come to know that it usually means that there is some unfinished business that needs cleaning up. Sometimes the more I ignore the unfinished business, the louder the black dog barks.

So it is almost impossible to be .... mmm, lots of words fit here ... present, in fellowship, in balance, in harmony, etc., until unfinished business is cleared up.

Nothing but the best...

Olmate
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 05:55   #8 (permalink)
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haha edwin you just kicked my ass via written word! Thank you for being blunt though, it was truly needed.
I think I need to re-visit the present, it's been awhile... thanks again edwin, and everyone else!
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 11:39   #9 (permalink)
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Hi Edwin,

As ever a thoughtful and informative post which after reading I have a couple questions….

I picked up the feeling from Chris’s post that he doesn’t feel he currently has the drive/pull to go in any particular direction and it was this that was giving his mind ammunition. I too have found myself in that situation and the more my mind wanted to get out of the situation (more ”I should be doing “ thinking) the more troubling/heavy the situation seemed.

I’m not advocating a World of coach potato’s and I am a strong believer in taking action to change, but I notice within myself that times I just feel a bit rubbish/aimless and heavy thoughts/feelings are knocking about. At these times (when I am present enough) I just accept the feelings/situation, otherwise I just fall into the realm of the mind and it gives me a good duffing up

You comments suggest being mindful in all you do but also there was a strong sense of “pick yourself up and get on with life” and going out doing things and not wasting life. Comments which I consider to be valuable advice, but what if the person doesn’t feel like doing anything for a while? They just stuck at the cross roads, isn’t that a legitimate state or feeling to have?

Thanks,
Paul
 
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Old April 5th, 2011, 13:22   #10 (permalink)
Edwin (Offline)
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Originally Posted by Mr Monkey View Post
Hi Edwin,

As ever a thoughtful and informative post which after reading I have a couple questions….

I picked up the feeling from Chris’s post that he doesn’t feel he currently has the drive/pull to go in any particular direction and it was this that was giving his mind ammunition. I too have found myself in that situation and the more my mind wanted to get out of the situation (more ”I should be doing “ thinking) the more troubling/heavy the situation seemed.

I’m not advocating a World of coach potato’s and I am a strong believer in taking action to change, but I notice within myself that times I just feel a bit rubbish/aimless and heavy thoughts/feelings are knocking about. At these times (when I am present enough) I just accept the feelings/situation, otherwise I just fall into the realm of the mind and it gives me a good duffing up
Believe me, I know where you are coming from. And Chris for that matter.

That's why I gave Chris exactly that which I could have used a few years back. A friend telling me to stop worrying, and start living.

You comments suggest being mindful in all you do but also there was a strong sense of “pick yourself up and get on with life” and going out doing things and not wasting life. Comments which I consider to be valuable advice, but what if the person doesn’t feel like doing anything for a while? They just stuck at the cross roads, isn’t that a legitimate state or feeling to have?

Thanks,
Paul
Very observative of you, and you are right, I actually was trying to get him off his behind, to start doing things again.
In reality, it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you focus on what you are doing.
If you are going to have a lazy afternoon, just hanging on the couch with drinks and snacks available so you don't have to get up, just watching a movie or zapping channels, that's ok too, as long as you focus on that.
Enjoy the feeling of being lazy, allow lazyness to become you, be the most lazy you can get.

Long time meditators, and those who consider themselves "seekers" are bound to run into these feelings that you and Chris described.
When looking at the "big picture" everything that we do seems to be so trivial.
But this doesn't mean that it is all pointless, it is just placed in the right perspective. Nothing that happens is worth the worry. It simply is.

Now you guys are thinking:
Why bother studying, why making a fuss, am I right ?

If this were true, it would also be true with simple things like going to the toilet, eating, drinking.
I don't see you ending those activities, and they seem pretty trivial too. Why bother eating now as in a few hours, you will probably have to eat again.
Why going to the toilet, as in a few hours you will have to go again.

See how your mind is playing tricks on you ? Why should studying, or working, or meeting people be any different than a simple toilet-visit ?
They are also basic needs for humans !

To have a job you enjoy, to have friends to share your life with ! How can that be less important than emptying your bowels ? And yet, your mind is telling you that those things like work and studying and friends are pointless, but the urge to sit can't be ignored

HA ! I can even make an analogy from a toilet visit hahahaha
 
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