How do I unattach?

Milamber · May 10th, 2010, 02:06

I feel as if my outlook and perception of reality is changing in a positive way but it's also starting to freak me out. Every thing I do or experience i now analyse with a different mind set and continually find myself questioning wether what im doing is the best option for me or if somthing is wrong and should be changed in my life. For example my relationship with my friends has got to the point where Im starting to feel like I can no longer relate to them and actually feel depressed after seeing them. When I see them I try hard not to talk about my experiences and ways in which I feel I'm changing, but sometimes I can't help it as it seems to be constantly on my mind. When I do talk about it I find them to be mocking or afraid of what I'm saying and I end up feeling like I'm preaching or somthing but that's not my intention it's just that it's always on my mind so I can't help but speak about things within this context. I end up feeling more depressed and unsure of my self after seeing them and now just feel like I have to cut off from them to progress on my path and actually find my inner peace. Is this wrong to feel like this? I feel like I need to shed my skin and unattach myself from my old life but the thought of doing this fills me with fear and I don't know how to proceed, it's like a battle in my mind, one half wants to change and progress whilst the other wants to cling to what it knows and is used to...

Midnight · June 2nd, 2010, 22:11

As you become more aware, you start to see the things that are hindrances to yourself rather than lifting you up. I saw this with TV, some of my music, in movies, etc. I gave up much of that stuff, but it was hard at first because I was so used to having all these things. I didn't want to believe it, but in the end it was true. Many of my negative thoughts and beliefs were derived from these forms of media.

More relevant to your case though, I realized some people in my life I just had to let go of. It was hard, because I really did enjoy talking to them, but at the same time, their unrealistically negative outlooks were unhelpful to me. Some of my friends have at least changed the way they act around me, not because I told them specifically to change, but as a byproduct of some of the awareness I brought to them. For this, I am thankful for, but they are still the same people on the inside.

Letting go of what you thought was "yours" can be difficult, but know it is only difficult for the ego. The only thing you're letting go of is everything that is not you, for you are always you. The body may feel uncomfortable, but it's only adapting to the positive change. Imagine that you've been starving for so long and then you found an abundance of food. While that is an amazing find, eating too much, too soon after you've gone without food for so long will hurt your body. Take it nice and easy and just relax. Enjoy everything.

Milamber · June 6th, 2010, 05:06

thanks for the reply midnight...

I read a quote recently that seemed appropriate to how I was thinking:
'You cant rip the skin from the snake. It will shed its skin when it is ready' - Hari Dass Baba

PresenceUponMe · June 8th, 2010, 05:00

Originally Posted by Midnight

As you become more aware, you start to see the things that are hindrances to yourself rather than lifting you up. I saw this with TV, some of my music, in movies, etc. I gave up much of that stuff, but it was hard at first because I was so used to having all these things. I didn't want to believe it, but in the end it was true. Many of my negative thoughts and beliefs were derived from these forms of media.

More relevant to your case though, I realized some people in my life I just had to let go of. It was hard, because I really did enjoy talking to them, but at the same time, their unrealistically negative outlooks were unhelpful to me. Some of my friends have at least changed the way they act around me, not because I told them specifically to change, but as a byproduct of some of the awareness I brought to them. For this, I am thankful for, but they are still the same people on the inside.

Letting go of what you thought was "yours" can be difficult, but know it is only difficult for the ego. The only thing you're letting go of is everything that is not you, for you are always you. The body may feel uncomfortable, but it's only adapting to the positive change. Imagine that you've been starving for so long and then you found an abundance of food. While that is an amazing find, eating too much, too soon after you've gone without food for so long will hurt your body. Take it nice and easy and just relax. Enjoy everything.

After reading this I had to sign up, to thank you for the insight. I have been with a pessimistic girlfriend for 10 years, and wondering why I became a drug addict, and boozer, when I was aware that wasn't my true self, because I am natrually a "happy camper". It's amazing how someones attitude can change an individual deeply that you care about. Now I just have to meditate on the 10 years of memories and hurt. Thank You, Thank you!

Midnight · June 9th, 2010, 09:08

Wow, I am touched that my words affected you that deeply!

Yes, it is still amazing to me to take a step back and look at what is going on in your environment and how it is effecting the way you think about things, and what you attribute emotion to.

Having someone that close to you for so long be so negative can definitely rub off on you if you are not aware of what is going on. The saying "You (In this case your mind/ego) are a product of your environment" confirms itself in these situations.

However, bringing awareness and accepting the situation can stop it from effecting you, but only if you allow yourself some space from whatever was "stopping" you. If you remain around it, it can be easy to stay distracted from your true self, and from seeing a different perspective.

Whenever you feel something undesirable, or negative, ask where these beliefs came from. Are they really yours? Or were they given to you by some outside source? 99% of the time, it's the latter.

Everybody is naturally a happy camper. No one is actually born unhappy. Things happen to us, but all these things can be let go of, and we can return to such a state of happiness, but with so much more because we now have experience, and awareness, alongside our natural selves. This is why I am thankful for LF, and to have opportunities to be able to change and grow.

As a side note, you don't have to dwell on anything. That is not what it means to meditate. It is best to just let go. It happened in the past, and that's where it stays. The power lies in right now. For your benefit, I believe you should check out this thread: Principles of Meditation & Entrainment

I wish you nothing but the best of luck on your journey of self-growth and realization!

Volcom23 · June 9th, 2010, 13:02

Originally Posted by Midnight

As you become more aware, you start to see the things that are hindrances to yourself rather than lifting you up. I saw this with TV, some of my music, in movies, etc. I gave up much of that stuff, but it was hard at first because I was so used to having all these things. I didn't want to believe it, but in the end it was true. Many of my negative thoughts and beliefs were derived from these forms of media.

More relevant to your case though, I realized some people in my life I just had to let go of. It was hard, because I really did enjoy talking to them, but at the same time, their unrealistically negative outlooks were unhelpful to me. Some of my friends have at least changed the way they act around me, not because I told them specifically to change, but as a byproduct of some of the awareness I brought to them. For this, I am thankful for, but they are still the same people on the inside.

Letting go of what you thought was "yours" can be difficult, but know it is only difficult for the ego. The only thing you're letting go of is everything that is not you, for you are always you. The body may feel uncomfortable, but it's only adapting to the positive change. Imagine that you've been starving for so long and then you found an abundance of food. While that is an amazing find, eating too much, too soon after you've gone without food for so long will hurt your body. Take it nice and easy and just relax. Enjoy everything.

Wow! I can find amazing people here with great minds. I can relate to this post since I'd also experienced this amidst my meditation practices. Thank you very much for the insight. You had nice idea in your mind. I can relate to you people.