Personal Development

[pollyanna]

That's wonderful news Beth - sorry for late reply - only noticed your post this morning. Look forward to hearing how you both do and I wish you continued peace and joy

[Ali F]

Thank you, Pollyanna, for your wonderful posts. So much inspiration... THANK YOU!!!!

[sash]

Wow this thread has really inspired me. Thankyou pollyanna you are such an inspiration

[purplevibe]

Originally Posted by pollyanna

Personal development can be ongoing and never ending. Personal development is becoming the best you can be.

You were born to achieve - I believe we all are. There is abundant wealth for everyone and I don't mean only money. Being wealthy to me means first and foremost enjoying the love, respect and loyalty in the rich relationships shared with family and friends.

Enjoying the great heritage created by others, with no effort from me. The people who have dreamed and paid the price to create electricity, communications, transport, home comforts, self improvement material and so many other wonderful creations.

The ultimate price many paid by giving their lives so that we can live our lives as we choose today.

Achieving and contributing creates happiness.

I pulled out my journals today so that I can post some of the great things I learned in this thread and hope it will be as useful to you as it has been to me.

It was such a beautiful day that I decided to enjoy the sunshine at the same time and as I wondered where to begin I decided to go back to where I started - the days when I only had a little hope.

As I put pen to paper it turned into a rhyme or poem for some reason and my afternoon became the following words:-

Along time ago, seems so far away
a small seed of hope was planted one day.
It was so very frail, needed much loving care
for the bountiful fruits it one day would bare.

Enthusiasm, patience, kindness and love
were constantly given so it could rise above
the destroyers of doubt and fear that were rife
in the infertile soil where the seed lived it's life.

Some people were told of the seed in the ditch,
they laughed and they shouted "Impossible" which
could have shrivelled the tiniest roots of the seed,
but the grower ignored them - continued to feed
the small seed of hope which no one believed
could grow and survive in the ditch full of weeds.

The grower kept weeding the doubt and the fear
keeping "the end result picture" so clear
in his mind - kept the faith - with no proof at all
that the seed would grow to be so strong and tall.

For such a long time there was no proof to see
yet the small seed of hope was growing to be
less frail - it was changing into belief
despite the naysayers, who still gave it grief.

And as time went on the belief just grew stronger
developing roots that grew deeper and longer.
Becoming unstoppable, it blossomed and grew
until finally the grower's dream had come true.

"Wow you are lucky" the people say now,
"this part of the ditch must be fertile somehow!"
"Whatever I've done" he said "you can do too"
They replied "we may not be as lucky as you."

The luck that I had are the choices I made,
I just never allowed my hope seed to fade.
The outcome was always clear in my mind
though obstacles and challenges attempted to find
ways to discourage the frail seed of hope
asking "What if you fail - how will you cope?
you shouldn't be greedy - you'll always be poor"
So I read good self help books - showed discouragement the door.

As discouragement got to the door, he asked "Why?"

"Cos I'm tired of existing and just getting by."


I wish you an abundance of encouragement, joy and happiness on your journey of personal development

Well, what can I say? Marvellous poem, full of wisdom, wonderful woman ful of beauty, Pollyanna. I used to go on here a lot, but recently have been studying madly, so I have visited infrequently, but always find an answer. I went to a seminar about teacher-training on Friday and I was enthused, however others have told me since that I should perhaps go for an easier option, i.e. primary rather than secondary teaching. One friend suggested that since my son is at primary, I could work there, perhaps, so it would be easier to drop him off and collect him, as I would be on site. I go into this only because it shows the context of my experience this evening. I was thinking through this and decided that I have to do what I have a passion for, rather than what would be more convenient, even if it is going to be a tough couple of years, I know it will be worth it in the end. I have just deleted a load of stuff about Literature that is totally off the point. Pollyanna always comes out with some 'stuff' that really makes sense when I need it, and I thank you for that, Pollyanna, who really do live up to your name, you make the place a 'glad' place because you fill it with positive thoughts, not just that, but a context that we can all understand and need to hear, again and again, so that we can follow in your footsteps.

On a literary note, have you thought about publishing your writings, you are a writer of great depth.

You have elevated me again, thank you, I am high above my green sofa tonight. xxx

[pollyanna]

Thankyou Ali, Sash and Trish, you being inspired by the works of some great people who truly inspired me is the ultimate reward

Whoever you decide to teach Trish will for certain have a great teacher with a wonderful attitude and outlook on life - I know you will touch many lives and make a difference to so many young people - what a beautiful goal and dream to work towards.

I wish you all an abundance of peace and joy

[richard100]

I just wanted to Thank you for you're kind words and inspiration.
So Thank You!

[pollyanna]

You're very welcome Richard and I wish you an abundance of peace and joy

[Fran2008]

Hi Pollyanna. Firstly, I am in awe of you. You really walk the walk and are an inspiration. Your wisdom seems to go way beyond any number of years. Only an interesting life and person can result in so much wisdom.

I do need some help in visualising. My story - I married young, had a beautiful daughter. The marriage broke up and I was devastated, broken. My daughter and I had a tough time but came through it and are very close. She is now 21 and my best friend. I met someone else and due to the fact that I was still very damaged I accepted and continue to accept a relationship which is less than perfect for me, but not awful. We have 3 young boys we both adore. They are aged 5, 3, 1.

My partner hates my daughter - this started when she was a teenager and has escalated so he now cannot be in the same room as her and never speaks to her. Of course, she now has no respect for him. Both because of how he treats me and how he treats her. This has had a terrible effect on my relationship with my daughter as we are never relaxed together at home. She stays in her room if he is at home.

She is away at the moment and the house is very peaceful. But that is just not good enough.

So it is within my power to change all this.

Luckily, I am financially secure for now and already pay for everything for the boys and myself. I own my house.

I am at a loss - how do I find the right path to visualise? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

[Ta-tsu-wa]

Fran, your story truly is heart breaking. With all the dynamic pieces to a situation that complicated you really should get the assistance of a competent counselor to help you work through it all.

Situations of that scope affect everyone in the family, not just the step-father and daughter though they're at the nexus of the issue. It's obviously having an adverse effect on you. Even though your younger children seem happy enough with Mom and Dad don't underestimate their amazing capacity to feel and intuit what's going on that adults often mistakenly think they're successfully hiding from the kids. It's almost a guarantee they feel and are impacted by the sub-surface tensions regardless of how well you believe you cover it up.

A counselor will probably want to work with everyone in the family so that he or she can assess and monitor just how each person is affected and what effect counseling is having on an ongoing basis.

Best advice, enlist the help of a first rate counselor. Issues of this complexity are likely more than you can successfully resolve without intervention from a knowledgable third party.

Having said that, meditation practices will certainly enhance any actions you take to get things functioning normally. The more family members you can get to participate, the better. Your two youngest may be too young, but certainly the 5 year old could be taught some simple practices in concentration and so forth. What would be most helpful is if you could get your oldest daughter and your partner to begin some sort of practice. Don't expect that either of them will miraculously reform completely just because of meditation, but it can lay some of the groundwork that will be required for change by both of them. In the meantime it may also help diffuse tensions and stress a little and make the situation less volatile. You're still going to need counseling, but meditation will act as a compliment to that.

Make sure you take time for yourself as well. Those placed in the role of referee between hostiles often exhaust themselves by focusing so much on the fighting factions that they neglect their own needs. Too much of that and you burn out, making you of no use to them or to yourself. So make certain Mom monitors and attends to her own needs as well as everyone else's.

[Fran2008]

Ta-tsu-wa, thank you so much for responding to my post. I really appreciate your taking the time to both read and respond.

Just as an update, I tried to talk to my partner last night - mainly about the issue with my daughter - as things have been so calm while she is away. Unfortunately he said he would prefer to leave than live with the situation as he sees it. He feels that she doesn't respect him which is now true of course. He will not consider counselling.

I never thought of counselling for the boys or my daughter. I think you are so right and can't believe I didn't think of it before. I do believe the boys are not getting a good view of how people - particularly women - should be treated. And my daughter is not being shown how she should expect to be treated.

Thanks again for your help. I will continue to meditate and visualise and will encourage my daughter and sons to do so too.

Many thanks for shining a light for me.