Clear images of sexual abuse as a child :(

[Runes]

Hello all
I just started using lifeflow discover meditation and the lifeflow demo. Saving up to get some more levels. Although I have been doing yoga and meditating with other entrainment programs and sometimes without by just "naturally being" for more than 2 years now.
However this past week after meditating, I have been getting clear images of having been sexually abused as a child. I see even the person's face clearly and remember what he was called. I just don't know how he fit into my life at the time.

I was quite surprised by this heavy revelation since I have hitherto considered myself an 'emotionally sound' and well rounded female of 40 years old. I am quite happy where I am right now and will feel really terrible to shake the 'glass of muddy water'. I live in a different country than the person involved. I don't even know if he is alive and even if he is, the dude might be close to 65 now!! (unless my child like brain exaggerated his age) Right now I am confused about what to do with this revelation.
Was I supposed to 'deal with it'? Is that why I am remembering this situation now?

Your thoughts and advise are welcome. If you don't feel like saying something to me here in public, you can send me a pm. I am also now asking this question of myself during meditation.

Thanks for listening. I feel some small relief already just typing this out.

[Panthau]

Its a good thing, these things are coming up to be processed and released.
Go for it, look at it, dont push it aside. Its a chance for you!

Ive been abused 10 years of my childhood, and i dont have any pictures or feelings, i can only get there by very little steps because its dark around me. Be thankfull for having those emotions and pictures, thats the last step before releasing them!

Thats what you can do with it. Just watch it, be aware of it. The rest will happen by itself.

All the best,
Phil

[Leonid]

As much person becomes aware of himself, his deepest blocked emotions released.

Many times is not a big pleasure, but the acceptance of such things make it possible for us to continue with our life and spiritual evolution.

Leonid.

[Edwin]

First of all, I think it would be wise for you to consult a professional.

Nowadays therapists have a good understanding of how the brain works, and how you can give such a traumatic memory it's place. It is very likely that, since like you said, you are in an emotionally comfortable state at this moment, there will be no need for medication, and after just a few consults, you will find a way to leave it behind you.

As to "shaking the muddy glass", I am afraid that moment is allready gone. You have been confronted with the memory and now you need to adress it if you want to let it go. When avoiding memories they will come back to haunt you, when accepting them, they will settle.
With acceptance I mean: accept the memories, accept that you have been abused, you don't have to accept the abuse itself of course.

Maybe the memories surfaced in a time when your mind thought you would be strong enough to cope with it... who knows ?

I do advice you to keep meditating, and practice the gratitude excercise afterwards.

I wish you strength in your current situation.

[Runes]

Thank you all for replying to my post with all the great advise and suggestions.
Before I explored this situation further, I had to make sure that this person was not a figment of my imagination. So I called up my mother over the weekend and after a bit of hesitation, I described the person and named him what I had 'heard' him called. Turns out he was one of my dad's chauffers who got dismissed when I was 8 years old. Apparently I had a deep dislike of the guy and would scream bloody murder if I had to get in his car. Eventually they fired him.

I did not bother to stress my old mother out by elaborating further. Anyway, I will continue to meditate and to 'let go' and 'release' this event.

[Panthau]

Its more like a "not-hold-onto-it" then a let go in fact. Dont try anything when meditating, meditating is all about letting go. Uncramp and let it flow, whatever wishes to show up.

I know its always easy to tell someone how to do it. Its always something different if you´re the one in the situation... but thats at least the "technique" which should help a bit.

Atb,
Phil