Meditation and fear of public speaking

[afro100]

Hi, Everyone

I have done a few research on this subject, but couldn't find any concrete answer or solution to it. Is is possible to eliminate or at least alleviate the fear of public speaking through the practice of meditation?.

Is there anyone here who has had public speaking anxiety but somehow manage to overcome it with meditation alone?

Currently, I'm practicing mindfulness/breath meditation (3 months,try to stay in the moment), I find it very helpful to clear my cluttered mind and good for overall stress management whenever I meditate. However I find it hard to put it to use, when caught in truly high anxiety-provoking situation like public speaking or presentation.

One of the few things I noticed when becoming the center of attention, is I get extremely self-conscious, I feel as if everyone is judging me, staring at me (even though is not true), all the negative thoughts start flooding non-stop. The external stimuli from the audience is too much for my brain to handle hence awkward and funny mumbling, stuttering, shaky hand and voice LOL .

So is there any style of meditation that can help me to get rid of the unwanted stimuli or at least tone it down to a manageable level?

Or any any method to block out the negative thinking pattern/(or the audience lol) at will?.

Sorry for the lengthy post and any grammatical errors I may have committed, since english is not my first language

[Edwin]

Originally Posted by afro100

Or any any method to block out the negative thinking pattern/(or the audience lol) at will?.

Sorry for the lengthy post and any grammatical errors I may have committed, since english is not my first language

Hehe same here, Dutch myself.

In short, yes blocking negative thinking patterns can be learned, and it takes a few years of meditation. I assume that this is not the answer you want, you probably have some public speaking to do in the near future.

There are other methods aside meditation, and I have had the chance to try several.

You see, before the age of 17, people would have described me as a very very quiet person. This was because I was shy, very shy.
To me, talking to any person I didn't know was like public speaking.
Sweaty palms, a constant feeling of being self-conscious, everything you described sounds very familiar.

I talked to a friend of the family about it, he was a rather brilliant surgeon, and he told me that he had had the same problem. He told me that most of the time, people will freak out because they don't know what to say, or how to act. They try to consciously adjust their behavior to what they think they read from the other person's reactions. Because of this, your attention is diverted from the conversation, and directed towards how unsure you feel. This causes you to miss certain things in the conversation, making you feel even more self-conscious. A vicious circle.

With public speaking, it is the same, but now your mind is trying to find a single person in the audience that seems to not enjoy himself.

The advice I got to end this was so simple. He told me to go to the library, and find some books on conversation techniques.
I did, used those methods that appealed to me most, and nowadays people frequently ask me to shut up

I am very sure that there are books that can help you with becoming a successful public speaker.
Funny thing is, I often have to speak in public, and for some reason in my mind there is no audience. I don't have worry about them enjoying themselves or not: They invited me to talk, that's what I am doing. They may not enjoy themselves, tough for them, they were dumb enough to take a seat and think that I actually might have some interesting information

Thinking things like "is this interesting enough" or "will the audience enjoy themselves" are diverting your attention away from what is really important: The message you are there to bring across.
Taking a pause every now and then to look if everybody is still awake can be useful, make sure you have some kick-ass punchlines for those moments, nothing wakes an audience up like a good laugh.
But aside that, you have to have the assumption that they are there to listen to what you have to say. They have to be interested or they would not have shown up. Even George Bush jr was able to entertain an audience, I have no doubt you will do better than him. And all the other average chimps

Knowing how to make the most successful speach by a step-by-step plan can be learned best from books, even I am no expert in that, even tho most people didn't snore during my presentations.

Good luck with your presentations, and I hope I have been of help to you.

[MetaCognition]

First off, congrats on joining the community!

I relate heavily to both your post and Edwin's. Up until the age of 19(merely a year ago), I was quite an introverted soul. I rarely, if ever, took control of any conversation and unless I was in the company of a few specific individuals, I rarely would speak a word out loud. A few things changed this.

One: I transferred to a new school, one that required all undergraduates to take a course solely dedicated to public speaking before graduating. I came into the class petrified, completely bombing my first speech (which luckily was not graded) and felt like a complete fool. However, it was this first "failure" which ultimately made me determined to master the process of speaking to and in front of others in a comfortable manner.

For my next speech, I practiced it over and over again, making sure not to "memorize" it but to have a clear picture of what I wanted to say. I visualized things going well, and entered the class once again terrified. My entire body was shaking, sweat was building up in my pores, and fear radiated throughout my energy field. To my surprise, however, when I actually got up there and began, the fear started to dissipate. Once I got past that initial first step, my internal guide took over and the speech seemed to perform itself. In fact, after the speech was done, one classmate commented that I was "a natural speaker," something I never DREAMED someone would ever say about me.

Flash forward a few months, I complete the speech class and now find it somewhat easy (and kind of fun) to deliver prepared material in front of groups. But what about pesky social interaction?? No matter how confident I was when giving a speech, the insecurities remained and took over when I had to "respond on the fly." As a result, I read countless books on self-improvement, intimidation, and even books on "seduction" of the opposite sex (which by the way provide such an amazing insight into the ego that they should be required reading for all human beings).

I watched as suddenly, I could interact with RELATIVE ease. In my head, I was "prepared" for all social interactions, and suddenly found myself joking around with strangers and flirting with women that I never would have had the courage to speak to before. I could see both men and women starting to become attracted to my presence, but I couldn't help but feel empty still. I didn't know what it was that was missing, but something clearly was not right, though I felt I was getting closer and closer.

Finally, I discovered meditation. Of course I had known about it for years, but had never truly implemented it into my life. I found this forum and decided to give it a try. I began meditating two times a day for 20 minutes at a time, and almost immediately, I could see a difference in myself. To put it most simply...I was calm. I was accepting myself. And I didn't even really know it, all I could see was that now people were even more attracted to my presence, though this time I saw no envy in their eyes. I saw no hatred. I saw no disgust. I saw their "being" respond, not their minds.

The more I meditated and the more I read (Tolle in particular has been a tremendous help), I realized that people were just responding to my ego previously. While they certainly were intrigued by the confidence I was alluding, no one seemed to stay around past a certain point because it would eventually become clear that the confidence of the ego was really just insecurity manifesting itself as confidence. The moment I realized that fact, my entire life changed.

It's come to the point now where at 20 years old, I have been told by many peers and teachers that I should consider a field of public/motivational speaking. This is ONLY the case because I have learned, through meditation and implementing the lessons (or lack there of) to my daily life, which is of course, only the present moment. Though they do not fully know it, others are responding only to themselves, the consciousness that I let shine through (though that ego comes back at moments, observing the ego usually dissolves it immediately, even as I write this post). And it is through the pure shining of consciousness that true confidence arises. Once you have consciousness using your form as a vehicle of light, words and actions simply result before your own eyes. There is nothing "you" have to do, nor is there anything for "you" to worry about.

To quote Tolle: "Life is the dancer, and you are the dance."

I hope this long message helps you overcome any fears you have not just today, but throughout your entire existence!

[J&J]

This was interesting topic to me. Because i'm suffering anxiety around people not to mention public speaking.

Edwin can you suggest any good books about conversation technique?

[pollyanna]

The only thing I can add here is my own personal experience which happened before I learned how to meditate. The few minutes before I spoke to about 300 people I felt my heart beating so strong - like one you would see on a cartoon, projecting out and in from the chest and I could audibly hear it like a banging drum.

Being passionate about what I was talking about and focusing on helping others instead of thinking about myself was the key to getting me through, even though my legs seemed to have turned to jelly by the time I had finished and sat down.

Meditation has helped me to stay calm in many fearful situations and I am certain it will help you

As for public speaking, the best tip I would give, is speak from the heart

I wish you much peace and joy

[olmate]

Hi Afro100,

When addressing audiences or media, right down to small group presentations there are a couple of elements that are important to be mindful of in my experience. They include:

Breath - focus on keeping your breathing at a rate that ensures a level of calm permeates. Breath is very important so in that sense a level of breath mindfullness is very important.

Authenticity - know your subject matter, speak at a personal level and focus on your audience - even if you cannot see them. Before presentations or interviews, make sure you clear your mind of unwanted baggege so you are centred and focused. Try to open a pathway (if that makes sense) for your message to flow from. Use notes as a prompt or reminder rather than just read from them. That is way too impersonal.

Balance - adopt a balanced posture that is strong but relaxed. Let your mind adopt the same posture based on your physical posture. Let the energy flow through you.

Be you - let the inner you shine through. it is perfect. Of course meditation provides a foundation to do... well... anything really.

Just some suggestions. Nothing but the best...

Olmate

[Michael David]

Another approach to the anxiety and fear that arises in addition to the wonderful threads above is to dive into the sensations of the anxiety and fear. Turning towards the opposite of our natural avoidance, of these thoughts and sensations, is similar to the benefit of turning into the direction of a car skidding on ice covered snow.

Resistance to the thoughts and sensations we do not want only creates more of them. Take one moment at a time and ask yourself the question, “can I be with this thought sensation right now?” Practice this in meditation by bringing to mind the situation that you fear. Allow the sensations to be prominent and then ask the question, “can I be with this thought or sensation right now?” Hold on, open, breath into your heart center, and watch as the sensations dissolve. Allow the uncomfortable thoughts and sensations to be there. Just watch and feel the sensation, focus on the breath and opening the heart center. Do not try to change anything, just watch and feel. The less resistance there is the faster the dissolving occurs.

You can augment this practice by bringing to mind the complete opposite thoughts and sensations that you started with and hold both groups together at the same time. It is sort of like adding cherry syrup to a bad tasting medicine. In a short time you may actually get to like the medicine.

The sensations associated with our thoughts are a deeper level of consciousness. Allowing the sensations to be there without trying to block them lets them settle down and dissolve like ripples in a pond; if they do not keep bouncing off another obstacle or retaining wall. When the sensations have settled the thoughts have dissolved along with them. The syrup may remain and an enjoyment of public speaking or whatever it is creates a new and enjoyable sensation.

[wrongnmbr]

Okay, so I've recently taken up "analytical" or "contemplative" meditation - where you contemplate a mantra (i.e., "I am content, I am content") and then meditate on it, and it's worked wonders so far. I think it's also called "lamrim", although I may be getting these confused. Anyway, my only question is, how do you maintain the peace of mind you receive after mediation in daily life?

Also, is this the best way to practice content or are there other methods?

[GilesC]

Hi wrongnmbr (wrong number?) and welcome to the Project Meditation community,

Originally Posted by wrongnmbr

Okay, so I've recently taken up "analytical" or "contemplative" meditation - where you contemplate a mantra (i.e., "I am content, I am content") and then meditate on it, and it's worked wonders so far. I think it's also called "lamrim", although I may be getting these confused. Anyway, my only question is, how do you maintain the peace of mind you receive after mediation in daily life?

Practice, practice and more practice. The effects of meditation filter through from our practice of it into our daily lives naturally. Also practice at remaining present during your daily life, recognising when thoughts arise and bringing yourself back to that which is in front of you instead. This is sort of like a waking meditation and actually helps to keep you focused on the job at hand. When you are walking, with every footstep, simply walk.

Also, is this the best way to practice content or are there other methods?

There are many ways to practice meditation each having their own benefits. From my experience, the best all-round meditation, is mantra based, but not the contemplative mantra you talk about, simply the 'sound' mantra that is typical of Transcendental Meditation and the free meditation course that Michael offers in the "Discover Meditation" downloads from this site.

Hugs

Giles

[Michael David]

Hello Wrongnmbr,

Along with the wonderful posts on meditation above you might also try looking for calm, happy or joyful moments as you become aware of during the day.

When you notice one of these moments hold it in your awareness for 14 seconds. I don't remember the exact number of seconds but by holding the awareness of the calm, happy or joyful moment you are allowing the neurons of the brain to establish a path or groove of calm, happiness and joy. With each repititon during the days and weeks the grooves get deeper and more thoughts and emotions start to "fall" in.

A key point, in addition to thinking the calm, happy or joyful thought is to become aware of the sensations that are there. That is in the moment of calm ask yourself what am I feeling right now? what is the sensation of this calm or happy moment? This allows the groove to become even deeper.

During the day when you recall that you wanted to be more content you can bring to mind and body the practice of grooves that you have developed.

I was trying to keep this post as a quick read. Let me know if it seems workable for you.

Michael