Agitated after meditation?

[Hutchie]

Hi everyone.

I started meditating about 2 years ago, but due to work and other reasons gave up for about a year and started again about 2 weeks ago. I was taught the basics in my local Buddhist centre, during group meditation sessions and have a clear idea of the techniques and what to expect from meditation. I tend to meditate in the morning for about 20 minutes and try to do it daily, but for the past few days I've found myself agitated and stressed a few hours after meditation. Now it's not coming out of nowhere, it's as a direct result of problems or people who are doing things that I find disrespectful or unacceptable. Before I took up meditation I would tend to say nothing and then get annoyed by myself. Has anyone else experienced this (especially as a new meditator)? I'm wondering if it's my mind's way of dealing with things better, rather than store it up just let it out? But I took up meditating because I'm trying to reduce stress and agitation at the little things in life. Any insight would be appreciated.

[Hutchie]

No one lol?

[olmate]

Hello Hutchie,

Welcome back to meditation.

In my experience the meditation practice over time enables one to see the world in a very different way.

From what you describe it seems that you have/are forming views about people and their actions. The act of sitting in the quiet place often brings issues simmering away deep inside you to the surface. As they surface there is a wonderful opportunity to look at these issues in different ways. For example, instead of re-running the tape on how bad or stupid or evil or whatever these people are, stop and look at yourself.

Make an open and honest assessment of your reactions. Afterall, the only thing we can truely change is our own actions. Over time you will see that the human is a magnificent meaning making machine. We can look at a rock on the ground and make it mean all sorts of things. When you start to see just how crazy this can be, you will start to see a very different world. You will start to notice things you have never seen before.

In my view, what you are experiencing is a wonderful opportunity. Even though it probably doesn't feel like it right now, persist, try to open your mind to see what is really going on and see exactly what lens you are looking at these people through...

Keep showing up for yourself. Be gentle with yourself.

Nothing but the best...

Olmate

[Hutchie]

Hi olmate, thanks for your reply!

You are right of course, the problem isn't anyone else, but my own view of their actions being a problem. I'm totally aware of this and hopefully through continued meditation can and will come to understand and accept this.

Or in other words I'll put into practice what I already know intuitively.

I also think I was expecting too much too soon.

I have searched online and found others who've mentioned this sort of thing in the first few weeks of returning to meditation, so I'm starting to think that, as you say, it does bring unresolved issues to the surface where you become more aware of them than you did before.

Hope all is well with you in sunny Brisbane. I had the good fortune to holiday there 3 years ago and loved every minute of it....lovely city full of friendly people.

Thanks again for your reply.

[olmate]

Hi Hutchie,

Having expectations of our meditation sessions can be frustrating. With practice you may find going into the meditation without any expectation at all may be more helpful.

I know from personal experience that when I used to go and sit with the intention of trying to "fix" something - usually myself in some way, then I mostly came away frustrated.

But if you go into the meditation without any expectation, the ride can be amazing, or boring or anywhere in between. Maybe a better way to describe it is go in with an inquisitive mind just to see what emerges.

Brisbane is my home town and it is a special place. Scotland is on my must visit list too. My Dad was a Scot - a Glasgow boy, so it has a deep magnetic attraction for me.

Nothing but the best...

Olmate