"Who am I ?" Meditation this sunday

[GilesC]

Ahhh, now it makes more sense.

[Panthau]

wow, great post you made there, Edwin. The moment i read it, i could feel it in some way. Its scary on one hand, but my curiousness is stronger...hehe

[flossie]

Originally Posted by Edwin

Ok, this session is going to be a little different.

I want everybody who is going to try this, to post here. DON'T TRY WITHOUT NOTIFYING ME !

This meditation can be very powerfull. People have responded very differently over the years. Some simply say " Is this all ? "
Others can have the feeling that their life is turned completely upside down. Some even may experience spasms or uncontrollable body-movements.

It is the shortest route towards enlightenment. If you feel you are not ready, you probably aren't. You might just fail anyway.

Disclaimer:
In some occasions, people might need professional spiritual guidance afterwords. Some people just aren't prepared for this change. If this is the case with you, don't worry, it is a healing process. You have simply done what Tolle writes about. Gotten rid of the ego's power over you. With some guidance, you will learn to give the shattered ego the rest it deserves.

If this hasn't scared you off yet, please read this :

Link 1:
Taking a step into the world of our Being

Or better yet, read the entire thread:

Link 2:
Taking a step into the world of our Being

Try the excercise in Link 1.
Take it easy, don't strain anything. try to remain calm.

And report back to me afterwords. If you have doubts or need more help, I am here for you.

Hey Edwin

I want to try, what do i do?

April

[Edwin]

Pan and April,

Thanks for your interest and telling me you want to try.

Pan, I am not sure if you are ready for this yet. Maybe you should find out if there is going to be a Satsang with a good teacher near where you live. The (rather famous)teachers where I recognise silence with are Mooji, Eckhart Tolle, Adyashanti, Thich Nhat Hanh ( you can find him in Buddhistic gatherings ).
You have been through a lot in your life, and I don't want to be responsible for you going through emotional turmoil without someone experienced in knowing how to guide you through that.
Things you can do is check out these website's:
In English...
Amigo, unconditional friendship
Read through them, and wait for small insights to come. Don't force anything.

Flossie,

All you have to do is try the excersise as described here:
Taking a step into the world of our Being
and read through the replies made by Ta-Tsu-Wa and GilesC after that post.
Some excellent suggestions have been made by them if the "Who am I" meditation doesn't work.
If no insight comes, don't worry.
If something does happen, report back here.
If you have trouble with processing what happened, you have to report back here.

I will be going on holiday next week for about 2-3 weeks, but I won't leave before wednesday, and I gladly leave you in the capable hands of Giles and Ta-Tsu-Wa should you have issues.

[GilesC]

Originally Posted by Edwin

Flossie,

All you have to do is try the excersise as described here:
Taking a step into the world of our Being

Or this link:
Taking a step into the world of our Being

(I think it depends on personal configuration, how many posts you display per page. For Edwin I think the relevant post is on page 2 of the thread. For me (displaying more posts per page) it's on page 1 so Edwins link doesn't take me to it directly, but the link I provide above does. Whatever, one of them should take you directly to Edwin's post.)

I will be going on holiday next week for about 2-3 weeks, but I won't leave before wednesday, and I gladly leave you in the capable hands of Giles and Ta-Tsu-Wa should you have issues.

Giles

[Edwin]

Originally Posted by GilesC

Giles

LOL !!!!

I can't quote you anymore, because your post in this thread has been lost in the server crash as well, but I distinctly recall you offering your help after having read my first post

Don't back away now !

[GilesC]

I think I said something along the lines of

"I'd better turn my phone on"

[Panthau]

Hi there,

Thanks for the warning Edwin. As i posted in another thread, i already tried this method before i read your post about it, but nothing happend. As i read your post about it, i got an insight - sort of strong feeling, that showed me im not ready for it yet.

Anyway, im going forward. 40min of lvl 9 is no problem anymore, gonna order lvl 8 soon.

I have another question for you guys.
One of my main problems was, that i could always hardly stay "with me". Im always trying to hide my insecurity (which costs mass amount of energy). While this has changed a lot while my journey through lifeflow, im still trying to play someone who´s not me.

Concentrating on my breath is good (as i did in the europapark), but this doesnt work if im in a conversation with someone. Maybe any hints on this?

Thanks!
Pan

[Edwin]

Pan, I am going to ask you some questions, that hopefully will give you some insight into why it is so hard. I don't expect you to understand right away, and I certainly expect you to go try and find out for yourself. Don't believe what I say, try to prove me wrong.

Originally Posted by Panthau

I have another question for you guys.
One of my main problems was, that i could always hardly stay "with me".

What me ? In fact, there is only one real You. You are conciously aware that you are who you are. Do you exist ? Are you here ? Of course you are ! You know this for a fact ! So, how could you not stay with yourself ? In fact, there is no escaping You.

Im always trying to hide my insecurity (which costs mass amount of energy). While this has changed a lot while my journey through lifeflow, im still trying to play someone who´s not me.

Ah, yes, the never ending fight. As long as you are fighting, this will never change.

First of all, who is insecure ? Recognise the fact that there is insecurity. You have been trying to avoid your insecurity, run away from it, but it exists IN YOU, so no matter where you run, it runs with you. Imagine having a skunk in your backpack, it is spraying it's smelly liquids all over your backpack, and instead of taking off the backpack, you are running away with the backpack secured tightly on your back. Sure, if you run up-wind, you will escape the smell for a while, but you can only run for so long, or maybe the direction of the wind will change and you will smell the backpack again. YOU ARE STILL CARRYING IT WITH YOU.
And even worse, by fighting it, you are actually banging the backpack, hoping the skunk will stop it's spraying, and it actually makes it more mad, spraying even harder.

...

Stop running for a minute. Yes it will smell for some time, you will be afraid to encounter that insecurity, to face it. But it has been on your back for some time allready, so it was never far away anyway. You only had to turn your head a little, but the fear of the smell kept you from seeing.

Just like in my analogy you should take off the backpack. Look at it. Open it up, let out the skunk, even if it means it will spray on you as it tries to escape. Here is how to do it:

Look at your insecurity. Feel it. Where does it live in your body ? Observe the place where it lives. Just look at it. Nothing more. Maybe the feeling in your body is even recognised in you. There is a big chance that you will know where this feeling comes from. What caused it. If it is comes from a recent memory, look deeper. Maybe there is a deeper memory underneath ? One that has been painfull to look at ? Yet that is exactly what you should do. Look at it. Just that. Just look. Not too intensely, try to keep a distance. Just like a reporter writing his story a few feet away from the car crash, you don't have to become involved, you shouldn't even. You just have to watch that painfull memory. Allow it to be there, don't fight it.

Concentrating on my breath is good (as i did in the europapark), but this doesnt work if im in a conversation with someone. Maybe any hints on this?

Thanks!
Pan

Try my exercise when you are alone. Once you learn how to observe, to take your distance from the phenomena of your mind and body, and have watched the one or maybe several reasons for your insecurity, report back. One step at a time. If you want to move faster ( yes I recognised that in you ) there is a way to get there faster. Start with my excercise quicker

[GilesC]

Hi Pan,

Originally Posted by Panthau

I have another question for you guys.
One of my main problems was, that i could always hardly stay "with me". Im always trying to hide my insecurity (which costs mass amount of energy).

Yes, it does take a lot of energy to keep up the things that are not our True Self, that's a very good observation.

A point on the word "trying"...

When we desire an outcome, more often than not we "try" to achieve that result, and usually don't get the desired outcome, or we get it for a short while, but then lose it again. A classic example is people who "try" and diet/lose weight. The problem here is that the conscious mind knows the desired outcome, and it is trying to instruct the unconscious mind by telling it to "try" and achieve that.

As a test, put an object (pen or whatever) down in front of you. Now try and pick that object up.... go on....

Ok, so did you pick up the object? If so, you succeeded in picking up the object. If not, you failed (not a bad thing) to pick up the object. What you haven't achieved is "trying" to pick up the object.

The point is that "trying" is an in-between state. It is neither succeeding or failing to achieve the desired outcome. So, when we say we are going to "try" and do something, our unconscious mind has no concept that we wish to succeed and the actual outcome becomes, in essence, random.

Instead, we should learn to avoid the word "try"/"trying".

Now, we may think that we can simply re-word what we say to avoid the word, so rather than saying, for example, "I am going to try and lose weight" we say "I am going to lose weight". However, here's another catch to the unconscious mind... ... it only ever works in the present moment. So, by saying something like "I am going to..." implies the future tense, and the unconscious mind is happy that you are succeeding in "going to" because it can always remain in the future, resulting in you never actually getting there.

So, putting these facts together, what do we get. In fact, what we get is the principle behind positive affirmations. This principle is simple enough (if we remember to do it). All that is needed is for us to state the desired outcome in the present moment i.e. as if it already exists. So, instead of saying "I am going to (try and) lose weight" we turn this into a positive affirmation... "I am my ideal weight".

Now, you may not believe this statement, because your conscious mind (being the discursive monster it is ) will try and tell you "but, I'm not my ideal weight". However, by repeating the affirmation over and over, several times a day, our unconscious mind comes to believe it (regardless of the conscious mind), and awakens our awareness to the things around us that will allow us to achieve that belief. It is awareness in the present moment that allows us to achieve our desires.

(Hang on, that sounds like a doorway into being present... living in the now... achieving self awareness... )

While this has changed a lot while my journey through lifeflow, im still trying to play someone who´s not me.

As Shakespeare famously said in one of his plays...

"All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players"

Whilst our True Self is attached to this physical embodiment, we are a part of the play that is the world around us. This play is made of lots of localized small plays that we take part in throughout each day. The trick is to come to recognise when you are no longer in one play and in another, thus leaving the play alone. Too often, we continue to act the play in our mind even after we have come off the stage, rather than being present and recognising that we are now in a new play. A good example is when we go to work. Typically, at work, we play the part of the employee or employer, working with our colleagues, then at home we play the part of husband, wife, father, mother etc. We wouldn't usually play the part of husband, wife etc. whilst at work, and we shouldn't play the the part of employee at home but more often than not we do end up taking our work home with us, in our heads, letting the anger/frustrations of the day invade into our home life. Each part we play is our seperate personalities (persona is latin for "mask"), and by being present we can learn to wear the right mask at the right time.

Few people can show their True Self in all situations, as there is a need in the world to play the plays, but we can always be aware of our True Self regardless of the play, so that we do not let that play become attached to us and make us mis-believe that it is truly a part of us.

Concentrating on my breath is good (as i did in the europapark), but this doesnt work if im in a conversation with someone. Maybe any hints on this?

Be aware of the sound of the voice (yours and the other persons) when you are communicating. You don't have to focus or try to analyse the sounds you are hearing, as you will be focused on the content of the conversation, but simply let the awareness rest with the sounds. This may take practice, but, as they say... practice makes perfect.

Hugs

Giles