Understand now and it helps me observe heaps better
this note from michael is awsome
Don't let other people wear you down. If you think that's easier said than done please read on.
The way to free yourself from the unpleasant affects of other people's negative energy is to recognize and love yourself as you are, and to accept other people as they are and see them for where they can be.
As you live more consciously through regular meditation you will love finding the real peaceful and happy you.
You have total choice in every moment as to how you act in response to any situation. If someone throws their negativity at you by criticizing, condemning or taunting you, it is up to you what you do about it.
By placing your attention on them, (even to show them how dreadful, incorrect, and unpleasant they are for doing what they're doing to you) you are feeding that negative energy and engaging in a feedback loop that brings increased negativity back on yourself.
You don't have to diffuse the situation, or correct the other person's perceptions. You just have to diffuse your own emotional charge about their perceptions. Don't allow yourself to be drawn into their charge or you will be giving them way too much power over you.
Nobody knows you better than you know yourself. If someone criticizes you, just remind yourself that it's their ego, map of reality or belief system. Everyone's got one, and everyone's entitled to theirs. You don't have to believe theirs. You only have to believe yours.
Chances are, more often than not, the negativity we perceive as coming at us from another person was not even intended. We all communicate differently, but we all communicate from the same place - our own individual map of reality, our unique experience and perspective of life and the world.
Most of the time, when someone's talking to you, they're not even paying much attention to you at all. They're stuck inside their own heads (their map of reality, their unique experiences and perspectives), speaking to themselves, and you just happen to be the one present to witness it, the mirror off which they're bouncing their own reflection. In other words: it's not about you - even when they say it is.
Allow someone to have their drama. You don't have to make it yours. If you cannot tolerate being in the presence of it, remove yourself from its presence. Otherwise, just let it happen like the weather.
Cloudy or sunny, your day goes on. Attention is energy. What makes the storms around you linger, what makes them worse, is when you feed them with your attention. Let the storms brewing around you blow over you, and they will blow over.
Ignore them. Let it slide. Turn around and walk away. You don't need to think of the right response, or the positive thing to say. Say nothing. It's hard, but it works. Even if your silence only infuriates the perpetrator of the negativity, that's over there, that's them.
You can be an oasis of peace even in the presence of choppy, shark infested waters.
Thanks aussie.
Drama vs The Now - Ekhart Tolle
Do you know the difference?
Does anyone know an easy way to remember the difference?
The Ego and the Pain body
Maybe someone else will be able to describe it more simply and clearly. One thing I'm certain of is when we live consciously rather than automatically and learn to respond instead of react life can be tremendous. I wish you much joy, happiness and presence 
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