Originally Posted by Ta-tsu-wa
You should read a small book called "Zen in the Art of Archery". You would find it familiar. A westerner learned the Japanese art of archery as a form of Zen training. His master would constantly remind him to stop interfering with the process of aiming and shooting at the target and "let It" do the shooting. This was, of course, an incomprehensible statement to the man in the beginning. Was it not "he" who was holding and drawing the bow? Was it not "he" who was aiming at the target, controlling the breath and, ultimately, releasing the arrow? And who or what was this "It" that the Master spoke of? In the end he did indeed learn the art of archery and he found it to be very much as you described your experience. He had to get himself out of the way and allow something greater to perform the act of shooting. It felt as though he was only a spectator in an automatic process. There are those who would say this is simply a case of extreme neuro-muscular memory conditioning, but my own experience convinces me that far more than simple conditioning is taking place.
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I am currently experiencing the same with my Jiu-Jitsu lessons. Something in those martial arts... We even start and end the training sessions in Zazen...
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As Greg points out, the journey is a personal one. What you choose to share, you share at the risk of having others challenging you to defend. Where personal experiences of spirituality are concerned it can be particularly sensitive having others adopt a skeptical or antagonistic attitude towards your experiences.
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My experiences have turned rather useless once they have passed. They are not real anymore, just a memory. People are free to judge any past experience of mine. I won't be offended. People's opinion of me isn't that important for me either. It is all ego.
I seem to recognise the ego not only in myself but also in other people. In a workgroup in our church I even noticed the ego's of 2 people discussing doing their game. I was even able to manipulate their ego's/opinions. Not something I would like to mis-use tho. Since the topic wasn't all that important, it was fun to play with it. No harm done. But the "fight" ended and they all ended up agreeing with what I suggested. Just by deeply understanding how they thought about themselves.
I do feel a certain sadness, when looking at the news or hearing about a crime... If only all people were interested in self-realisation. The world could be a better place.
