Edwin, your message reminds me of a line from a Dr. Seuss book that we used to read to our kids when they were younger: "It is fun to have fun, but you have to know how." Thanks for the reminder. I'm smiling again!
One thing that my husband and I took from Larry Crane's Release Technique, and which we often repeat to each other in a bad imitation of his accent, is his explanation of how to deal with emotions, esp. when they feel overwhelming: "It's not good, it's not bad, it's just energy passing through."
So I'm not sure if this will help anyone, but here's how I deal with potential emotional landmines (which, by the way, are less frequent thanks to LifeFlow and meditation):
Something happens, maybe one of my kids gets lippy with me, and I realize I'm feeling angry. I check in with myself: "What meaning am I giving to this event?" This can bring up all sorts of beliefs: I'm a bad mom (if I were a good mom my kid wouldn't be sassing me...!), My kid doesn't respect me, My kid SHOULDN'T talk to me like that (anything with a SHOULD in it is an irrational thought and bears immediate investigation!).
Once I grab the thought, I run it through Byron Katie/The Work questions really quickly: Is it true? Is it really true? How do I feel when I think this thought? Who would I be without this thought?
Then if I'm still feeling ticked off, I move on to the Release Technique stuff, as in: It's not good, it's not bad, it's just energy passing through.
It sounds cumbersome, I know. But sometimes my annoyance stops as soon as I think, What meaning am I giving to this event? and then I'm able to respond from a place of compassion and calm. Sometimes it takes me longer. Sometimes I just yell!
A few years ago I wouldn't have believed that I could respond calmly to family stresses. But after working with these techniques for a while, they've all become so ingrained that they kick in automatically.
Not sure if this post is as clearly written as I'd like...hope it makes sense.
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