Hi Cathi,
I know this is an old thread but I wanted to add my thoughts. I have the same experience, and I feel that my main problems was that even though I know the Laws of Attraction work, I felt that I didn't deserve it - I felt that I had done too many bad things in my life to deserve anything, and there are people far worse off than me. We can tell ourself day in and day out the things that we are grateful for, but we often forget how much we contribute to the world that others are grateful for. I have bipolar disorder and it's not something that the world is very forgiving of, but when I have episodes I have to remind myself that, when I am well, I contribute a lot to the world, and I've helped a lot of people and have helped create a lot of jobs for people (I work in getting small projects and operations off the ground). I recently read this story and it really helped put things in perspective:
A Water Bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which he carried across his neck.
One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.
For a full two years, this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes my water to leak out all the way back to your house."
The bearer said to the pot, "Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side? That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, we would not have such beauty."
We need to learn to look at out perceived flaws in a more realistic and altruistic light. And you are aware of a roadblock in your progress, which is progress in itself.
So keep your gratitude journal, but remember that the world is grateful to have you in it!
Best of luck,
Karly
PS I totally agree with the above posts
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