Fran, your story truly is heart breaking. With all the dynamic pieces to a situation that complicated you really should get the assistance of a competent counselor to help you work through it all.
Situations of that scope affect everyone in the family, not just the step-father and daughter though they're at the nexus of the issue. It's obviously having an adverse effect on you. Even though your younger children seem happy enough with Mom and Dad don't underestimate their amazing capacity to feel and intuit what's going on that adults often mistakenly think they're successfully hiding from the kids. It's almost a guarantee they feel and are impacted by the sub-surface tensions regardless of how well you believe you cover it up.
A counselor will probably want to work with everyone in the family so that he or she can assess and monitor just how each person is affected and what effect counseling is having on an ongoing basis.
Best advice, enlist the help of a first rate counselor. Issues of this complexity are likely more than you can successfully resolve without intervention from a knowledgable third party.
Having said that, meditation practices will certainly enhance any actions you take to get things functioning normally. The more family members you can get to participate, the better. Your two youngest may be too young, but certainly the 5 year old could be taught some simple practices in concentration and so forth. What would be most helpful is if you could get your oldest daughter and your partner to begin some sort of practice. Don't expect that either of them will miraculously reform completely just because of meditation, but it can lay some of the groundwork that will be required for change by both of them. In the meantime it may also help diffuse tensions and stress a little and make the situation less volatile. You're still going to need counseling, but meditation will act as a compliment to that.
Make sure you take time for yourself as well. Those placed in the role of referee between hostiles often exhaust themselves by focusing so much on the fighting factions that they neglect their own needs. Too much of that and you burn out, making you of no use to them or to yourself. So make certain Mom monitors and attends to her own needs as well as everyone else's.
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