Thank you all for your replies thus far some pretty heavy stuff but also definitely something to consider I am definitely not ready for that kind of responsibility I have my own stuff to deal with right now.
Edwin I think I heard of some similar situation that happened to some men that went through the same thing and they to have reached some sort of enlightenment, appreciation, and gratitude thank you for sharing that with me.
I guess all that an be done is have faith and I will keep meditating hopoing to see the truth like edwin and pollyana
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